Why oh why are people giving their under 12s tablets?

[Bigpinksweater]

The evidence regarding the effects of tablets on developing brains is damning. They are absolutely not necessary and barely existed 15 years ago. We are seeing huge rises in behavioural and developmental issues while steadfastly ignoring the fact screen time and in particular tablets can contribute to virtually all of them.

Why oh why are people still handing their toddlers and primary school children tablets?

They’re a pain but my 10-year-old son has to do 20 minutes of Times Table Rockstars every day and stay in the green zone on DoodleMaths then he will sometimes have homework set on spag.com so it’s easier for him to do that on a tablet than to take over my work computer for a long period every day. I wanted to block YouTube at the router but my 18-year-old has to use YouTube for A level maths homework. My 12-year-old son has all his homework set on an app, has two hours of maths homework per week on an app, one hour of science homework on an app. How are we supposed to manage without devices? At least I can have parental controls in place to limit access.

I am not a massive tablet fan. But whenever this debate comes up I always think. When we were kids we used to watch TV daily. My parents and friends parents did the same as kids. Behaviours were better back then. So I would argue. It isn't the tablet that is the problem. It is how they are being provided by parents and used by children.

My 2 infant age dds came home with an app to download to do maths on. I refuse to let them do it. I don’t want them getting into tablets yet

Tv is more sociable though. And you don’t carry it around with you the way tablets and mobiles are carried around. The change in the way teens interact with each other when personal screens are around is astonishing when compared to twenty years ago.

I’m a teacher and I hate it too. The people comparing it to TV in the 80s and 90s need to research the impact of the smaller screen on the developing brain as opposed to a TV screen. TV in earlier decades was a communal activity with a lounge TV that was on in the background while kids played or was watched as a family. The smaller screens like tablets and phones are isolating children. I’ve been teaching for just 13 years and the decline in social communication, concentration, focus and attention, imaginative play, etc is massively noticeable and more so every year.

Literally everyone I knew in the 80s and 90s had a TV in their bedroom and it wasn't a communal affair at all. I can assure you my parents has no interest in watching Dawson's Creek.

I think they are like everything else in life, OK in moderation. I let my daughter go on the iPad while I put my baby to sleep. It's a treat for her and she doesn't disturb the baby. Otherwise she doesn't have it. I don't like them at meals out. Obviously some people take it to the extreme but these are the same people who would plonk their child in front of a TV all day in the 90s.

Were they more sociable though, or did it once again depend on how they were used? If i wanted to spend time with my mother , I had to watch what she was watching(often completely inappropriate for my age) and sit there quietly so I wouldn’t distract/disturb her. There was no talking , interaction or talking about the topics after, if something came up.

Is it? Because as a teenager 25/26 years ago my whole class had mobile phones and we'd text each other from across a room and play snake while chatting on our Nokia's. Prior to that we all had tamagotchis we took very seriously and would be studiously caring for for entire break times.

People like to paint the past in rosy colours, what I suspect most teachers who are complaining don't like is that previous generations we were taught blind compliance and obedience. That's no longer what kids are being taught. The majority of people complaining about children's behaviour and the rise of acknowledgement of developmental differences aren't complaining because they're worried the kids are being done a disservice, they're complaining because kids being treated like human beings inconveniences them.

My parents would chain smoke with 5 of us stacked in the back seat and no back seatbelts anywhere on the 80s.

We'd never drink water (we being all my friends too) and instead of was squash or fizzy juice.

We'd be turfed out of the house at 7am in the holidays and only allowed back in at mealtimes (and actually my mum wasn't fully like that despite having 5 of us so the whole street would congregate in our house)

People say the world was safer but as someone who ran in large multi age 'play groups' of children I can tell you it wasn't some idyllic time, there was a lovely freedom, yes, but there was also a co.plete vulnerability of the youngest kids placed in care of older kids who had a similar loose parenting.

Everyone bleats for the past but I'd love to go back and offer us as kids the kind of understanding and support my kids get these days. Also availability of I formation and learning tools. It was also more acceptable back then to just let kids fail and fall through the cracks, I wonder if the boys I went to primary with who were bad and from bad families could have not ended up in borstal in their teens if they'd had more support and less just being expelled and left to it.

They don’t have their own, but have access to them. Homework is on apps, which often come with needing access to other apps.

Also, have you ever felt ill - sore throat, headache, tired, nasal pain, can maybe struggle through for twenty minutes and then floored? People will say “do what you need to get through, let them have some screen time”. Mum guilt washes over you. That’s me on a good day (long covid).

I don’t think tablets are the problem, parenting is the problem. If use is restricted there’s nothing wrong with a child having a tablet, they just need firm rules in place , nobody “has” to let their young child use a tablet all day, you can take it away after an hour and make them do something else

10min for homework is not the end of the world. However, I can’t understand why parents think a screen is appropriate at mealtimes, just before bedtime, in the buggy, etc.
Obviously it is an easy way to avoid having to interact with your child, but people get quite defensive about it « he can’t sit at the table without the tablet » well, he could if you didn’t give him this bad habit and talked to him instead…

Laziness. It's as simple as that. People can use all the justifications they like

Just look at the positives at least you no need to have 32 volumes of the encyclopedia Britannica, taking up space.

‘TV daily’ is nothing like carting a tablet around 24/7 with the addictive feedback loops and the ability to stare at it even when out and about in the buggy. Sorry there’s just no comparison.

I’ve heard this on so many occasions yet so many people just don’t want to hear it!

We got them each a tablet about ten years ago when they were 10 and 6. Very locked down with just a games on it.

I am 50 and was always brought up to embrace not shy away from new technology with various games machines and computers from 1979 onwards and didn't think anything of it. There were always dire warnings about kids watching TV when I was growing up. I spend hours and hours watching TV and playing games and also plenty of time being active. DDs were the same and probably even more active than I was, so we never had to limit screen time as it was self-limiting. After a while they would always prefer going outside to run around!

I'd probably be more limiting with phones these days or let them have them a little later than Y6, but when DD2 was in Y6/7 it was 2020/21 and gaming and phones was for a period the only way they could stay in contact with friends.

They have both turned out well, as did I. Advice I would give to new parents is that a lot of stuff is innate and if you are providing love, consistency and stability then don't dance on the head of a pin about screen time or whether they ate five portions of veg today.

If society decides that screens are so bad for children then there needs to be a massive shift away from tech in schools, particularly for homework. I'd be in favour of this as IMO it allows teachers to set too much homework anyway and not be responsible for marking it.

I read numerous posts on here every single day where exhausted parents are despairing at trying to get their kid to do anything apart from just relentless screens. They can’t be socialising and exercising adequately AND be on screens for 3 hours after school every night.

TV wasn't communal activity. It was sitting quietly watching a screen. It was considered rude to talk over it.

People are very defensive about it because its true that what you use screens for and how long you use them for makes a big difference. It takes it from useful, enjoyable tool to harmful.

lots of parents do hugely struggle to regulate screen time though. Lots of parents are addicted to thier own phones.

Watching a tv show with a plot that lasts for an age appropriate attention span, is completely different than watching tik toks that your parents are 'monitoring' Tik toks are faster and give more dopamine hits as you scroll quickly through it. Lots of social media is designed to be addictive with its notifications, and likes etc.

Im halfway through anxious generation which us very interesting about social media and the big increase in anxiety in teens.

Can you outline a day of your parenting please and we can compare laziness?

Yes there'll be uproar in years to come about 'why didnt anyone tell us', they'll be blaming manufacturers for not putting warnings on or governments for not stepping in.

Interesting! Not one single person DH or I knew had a bedroom TV in the 80s/90s! Maybe dependent on area/wealth/social circle etc. We certainly couldn’t have afforded three TVs for the bedrooms plus a living room TV in the early 90s! I was 15 before I had a bedroom TV, DH didn’t have one until he moved out of his Dad’s house at 19. TV for both of us and at any friends houses we went to was very communal and “background” not sitting staring at it like a zombie the way kids do with tablets/phones. Parents don’t want to hear the impact though because plugging a child into a screen is far less effort than entertaining them ourselves or encouraging them to self entertain.

It amazes me that people just dont want to listen or consider the evidence from those of us who work with a range of children and see the general pattern of impact on brain functioning, social skills, relationships, parenting.

They can. My son gets up at 6, walks the dog, walks to school and spends half an hour on a screen. Then he gets picked up from school at 3, either has a sports class for an hour or 2 hours at the park running round, home at 5, half an hour doing homework on seesaw and sumdog. That's an hour of screentime and it's 5.30pm. he reads his reading book, plays with his sister and eats dinner then after dinner it's 6.30 he's allowed an hour of whatever he wants so sometimes that'll be a bit of gaming or a gymnastics or yoga video they follow from YouTube, lately they've been learning dance moves. Then at 7.30 screens go off, it's board games, card games,lego and reading and bath and then in bed 9.30ish. 3 hours of screentime (although being honest most days it's less than 2 hours because his switch has a 2 hour alarm and it rarely goes off but he can do 3 hours and still fit everything else in)homework, extensive exercise and other activities.
He finds transitions between activities hard and a quick brain break on a screen can take him out of 1 activity then he transitions to the next one.