Child only area in restaurant- discriminatory?

[Buyalot]

I’ve returned from a carvery lunch with DH and DD (14 months).

On arrival, despite there being a lot of seats spare in every area, we were told we had to be seated in the dedicated children’s area - an
absolute racket with soft play etc.

AIBU to find this ridiculous?

That is not the ratio for children of that age so no, not buying it. I haven’t encountered many 14 month olds who are quiet amongst friends and family either. 14 month olds are definitely not known for being quiet even if a rare exception applies.

It sounds wonderful. I wish they would do this on flights. Put all the kids together at the back of the plane or have a designated 'kids area', screened off (in the hold?).

I had a horrific flight recently as I had a little girl (3-5?) sat next to me who kept singing the same nursery rhyme over and over again (for close to 2 hours) while I was enjoying my white wine and trying to read my book through clenched teeth. I was really worried that I was going to lose it and pull the emergency exit. Her mother who was on the aisle seat had her air pods in and seemed oblivious to the annoyance... such great parenting!

Yes, yes, I knew I was once that age and probably horrific.

Trouble is you don't know whose DC will behave beautifully and whose will be a nightmare. It would be far worse if they came and moved you because your DC were the ones people didn't want to sit next to

My autistic children wouldn’t like the noise or use the play area either. Unfortunately there are lots of things that their disability means they can’t do but it doesn’t exempt them from following a business’s legal policy.

It’s also quite likely that the child free area was the bar area and the venue’s licence doesn’t allow anyone under a certain age in it.

Do you have, or have had, one?

Why do you think other adults in the restaurant want to put up with your, and other people's, children?
This is the perfect solution.
And it is not legally possible to suffer discrimination because you have children.

I doubt they have a designated area for family pets in the restaurant. They're usually quite food driven well behaved so no need.

To be honest don’t choose places with soft play if you don’t want that vibe. It’s not unreasonable.

No. Infertility rather put a stop to that but you don’t have to be a parent to know that toddlers of that age, and toddlers generally, tend to be loud, which is perfectly natural as they’re busy working on their speech but perhaps not so enjoyable for other diners.

It's far better than having waiting staff dropping plates of food on top of unparented children that bowl straight into their legs in the main restaurant area.

Keeping the mobile trip hazards all in one place makes perfect sense for everybody's safety.

Is that not what I said?

My child is autistic and very sensitive to loud and busy environments. When I book a table anywhere I ask in advance to be in a quiet location with extra space if possible, never been anywhere unable to accommodate this or had anyone unhappy about sitting near us. If we were put in a noisy children’s area we wouldn’t be able to stay so definitely discriminatory to some families.

What if your autistic child's behaviour bothers another autistic child? Who leaves? Should the restaurant provide soundproofed booths? (Actually I'd like one of these)

I bet your child loved it. Kids love being down with the other kids.

They usually allow reasonable adjustments.

If it's two - unlikely than I would expect adults to not be cunts and one of non autistic adults to swap table.

Lol my DH and I met friends in a pub/inn more than 20 years ago [before we had ids of our own] which was family centric and thus in the children's area it was chaos. 30 odd kids, a bloody magician entertainer etc. My husband was actually pale from shock when we left as he felt as though he had just experienced a ‘chimp’s tea party’ and needed to go home and open some beers and recover from his ears feeling as though they were bleeding.

Oddly we never experienced an eatery like that once we had children of our own, possibly because DH has steadfastly refused to go to ‘family friendly’ settings.

Having been out for a meal in a restaurant where a family let their children run round as if it was a playground screaming their heads off whilst their parents sat on their phones, I welcome that. It is not discriminatory at all. They might keep a closer eye on their children.

A sign of the times I guess. This didn’t used to be necessary in bygone days when children were taught to sit relatively quietly whilst in a public place - being taught to be considerate of others around them. Now it’s like dining in a creche with parents just letting their kids run riot/feral. It’s the actions of a few which has made this kind of system necessary I’m afraid.

It's not that unlikely these days, statistically. Which adults should swap?

I thinks it’s a great idea too……..maybe that particular establishment has had complaints from customers and decided to separate diners with children from those without?

Very sensible idea as people will be walking back to their tables with hot food. You never want hot food to drop on your child ever. Children in the soft play area will not be too interested in running around other areas which are dangerous.

Also, I'm not a fan of carveries and prefer my food served in a nice portion.

But if they told you that when you booked you could make the choice to go elsewhere.

Somehere with any sort of soft play was always discounted when DS was younger (and now he is 16 too!) because I knew he wouldn’t cope with the noise. You pick where you go based on who you are going with.

YABU! A 14 month old can make quite a lot of noise in a restaurant. It sounds as though this restaurant has taken a sensible approach in welcoming children but only in designated areas. The absolute "racket" is what the adult diners want to avoid. If you've worked hard all week, looking forward to treating yourself and your husband or whomever to a meal out, the last thing you want is it being spoilt by a screaming child, running everywhere whilst the waitress tries to deliver your food.

It also tends to be public houses that do carveries, again, being a licensed bar, this would be primarily an adult environment.

I really think they've called a good compromise here with their set up, even providing dedicated children's toys, bravo.

I remember being out with my Grandad in the early 90s and family rooms where very much a thing.

I agree with you OP despite us being in the overwhelming minority!

Unfortunately children are not a protected class and so it is not seen as discriminatory...despite the behaviour being very much so.

The assumption from most posters here is: children = noisy & badly behaved; adults = quiet & well behaved. But of course this is not true because you can't generalise across any group of people.

Substitute this with any of the actual protected classes...people of x ethnicity / gender / sexual orientation / religion etc must all sit together because they are noisy and badly behaved and people of another ethnicity / gender / sexual orientation / religion etc should not have to be subjected to it. Wouldn't fly would it?

Once upon a time it was deemed acceptable by some to say that "coloured" people were dirty and that's why white people couldn't share bathrooms with them. That was horrific and ridiculous.

But apparently saying ALL children are badly behaved and noisy and unpleasant to be around and therefore they should be segregated is okay? Why is that so different?