To leave a teaching position with 4 kids to wfh for half the pay

[Catseyesgrey]

I am being bullied in a new school by my head of department and some other senior staff. Some other colleagues joining in a bit as I complained about the head of department

Was s bad move, but i thought it would help. He had emailed me a list of complaints after my first week in the job and referenced a disability i had casually mentioned saying he would get me support but he had high expectations going forward.

I fought back reported it was off on stress for 4 weeks- changed my antidepressant thinking it wasn't working. Just before i returned another emailing referencing adjustments i hadn't agreed to from him send me off again.

I emailed him saying disability is a sensitive subject and he shouldn't just email about it.
When i started back he screamed at me and was talking behind my back.

He observed me reaching after 6 days back with my most difficult class. Ripped it apart, some comments I have evidence were incorrect like missing success criteria as it was posted to the pupils class page.

During feedback on the lesson he sat another Principal Teacher at the back of his class, pretending she had nowhere else to work. I spoke openly about my sick leave and anything i would without her in the room. It was his fault she was there why should i hide.

Because of my disability school suggested weekly check-ins but i wasn't comfortable with this and just asked for it as required as i dont feelcomfortable with him.. We haven't done one till this week just as I was finishing up for the oct break. Another iist of three complaints. One quite serious from a senior manager who i have history with as I complained about her husband in my last school.

He minutes everything i say. Smiles while saying all this. Aldo minutes what i do for example highlightjng the minutes. I don't trust him. I completely broke down. Confided in another senior manager who said i was overthinking it. I had mentioned i am possibly autistic then the school said i was just rejection sensitive. Took it more seriously when i brought the union rep along. I requested a stress risk assessment. I did it and was all about him really everything else was fine. HT seemed supportive but nothing has changed. Im now on my holiday stressed. I don't know if he did it on purpose. He seems to do stuff before a weekend/holiday..

I have written out a grievance but not sent it yet.

I have applied for a wfh job that is full time would earn slightly less than teaching part-time term time but be less stressful getting to work, masking etc. Its for an autism charity too so hopefully I wouldn't upset anyone there like I have done. Kids are school age 6,8,10,12. Younger two asd not good with summer clubs plus the cost. I could maybe put them in football.

The new job is in communications
, looks really interesting and stress free. Im totally burnt out, depressed. Wouldn't be as good a pension thou. Husband earns well and has own business. I get child disability benefits too. My wages go on holidays and stuff for house. Kids clubs, food and fuel.

Only issue be school holidays. Its mostly handling social media so i could just get up early do it mornings and evenings.

I have hopes to become an ed psych one day could earn better money pursuing that. If I give up teaching job ill never get another. Cant do interviews due to autism and only got this one as they broke dda in my interview. Probably feel i shouldn't have it. Been having negative thoughs about myself and even twice a suicidal thought. I don't want to act on it. I thought it could be citalopram ive switched to straight to the highest dose. Feel kind of flat too and no interest in socialising. Which is better as I was depressed and lonely for years. So good be happier in my own company.

@Catseyesgrey this. You clearly need to leave this job but you equally need to have a good look at the bigger picture here including the school's perspective. If you keep alienating people with unreasonable expectations.and sensitivities you will make yourself unemployable particularly in education. If you want to be an EP you will need to develop a lot more empathy to work with children and their responsible adults in and out of school.

I left teaching in similar circumstances and so did my husband, in order to work from home. Holidays are occasionally fiddly with childcare but we muddle through. We would not go back to teaching for any amount of money, ever. We are much, much happier.

With respect OP, the common denominator here is you. You dont sound suited for any role that comes with a modicum of stress or criticism and seem to be under the misapprehemsion that jobs you hold owe you 100% flexibility due to your needs and circumstances, they do not.

The idea that you would take a full time job and try to squeeze it in morning and nights to avoid childcare is, frankly, outrageous.

You, however, owe them your role done correctly, you're not delivering, nor will you likely ever until you either learn to handle stress and feedback better, or you get a role that means you can leave the job at the door, but i surmise they don't pay enough for you.

Management today is incredibly hard due to the entitlement of todays workforce.

You sound like a bit of a nightmare, to be honest, and that's from just reading your account. Schools are under a lot of pressure, and on top of everything else they have to arrange cover for you when you're off on stress leave because something upset you. If you think you'd find the new job less stressful, and money isn't a big issue for you, I'd go for the new job. It sounds as though it would give you more flexibility too, which is helpful when you have 4 children (to cover illness, etc).

You don’t sound very suited for teaching. 4 weeks off not much help for the children you are meant to be educating.

It certainly sounds as though relationships in your current school have broken down and that it isn't the right environment for you.

You mention pursuing a career as an Ed Psych. I've worked very closely with many Ed Psych's and it can be a busy, stressful and emotionally taxing role. It seems that receiving feedback can be particularly difficult for you, so it's worth keeping in mind that Ed Psych reports can be contentious at times, parents sometimes get upset if the content of a report doesn't align with their views of a child's needs or difficulties. Schools may also give you honest feedback on your assessments and any training you deliver, and you will of course be observed and given feedback throughout your training. Being able to build and maintain positve relationships at work is absolutely essential to the role of an Ed Psych so whilst you may be getting a raw deal in your current school, I do think pp who have encouraged some self-reflection are right to do so.

Truthfully….you sound like a fucking nightmare to work with. I think you need some resilience training at the very least and need to do some self reflection. Maybe some a life/work coach that specialises in Autism.

Everyone in my office is neurodivergent, we all have strengths and weaknesses and support each other. It sounds like the school were trying to support you and yet you threw that back at them.

I doubt they gave you a ‘bad report’ as how would have you got a new job? Full time permanent teaching can be very different from supply teaching.
It sounds like you started a new job then went off sick after the first week. Your allegations that you were being bullied sound a little premature if this is the case as bullying is repeated behaviours. Regarding your disability, have you actually received a formal diagnosis of autism? If you want your line manager to make reasonable adjustments, how can that happen if you won’t discuss it? Having everything recorded via email makes perfect sense to me as it creates a paper trail for both parties should there be any dispute or misunderstanding.

Regarding the possible new job, just remember that you will need to provide references from your current employer.

Why is his age relevant?

I’m not sure that everything the school has done is incorrect either such as sending emails.

Also, regarding the new job. You write as if you’ve been offered it. It’s a tough job market out there, so don’t count your chickens.

As a previous poster said, fully remote charity positions are incredibly sought after- I recently recruited to one and we had 500 applicants for 1 position- two thirds of whom were relevantly qualified and experienced.

So, whilst I wish you luck, I think perhaps you also need to work out how to resolve the issues you keep having where you are.

What were the complaints you received from your head of department.

Yes I think you should leave and apply for other jobs because it doesn’t sound like a good fit all round.

You seem to be doing an awful lot of complaining about people though. You know the HOD is minuting everything and having another staff member present to protect himself from your complaining right? And rightly so since you’ve already written out a grievance.

TBH it sounds like you want to use your disability when it suits you but expect everyone to ignore it when it doesn’t.

@Catseyesgrey this. You clearly need to leave this job but you equally need to have a good look at the bigger picture here including the school's perspective. If you keep alienating people with unreasonable expectations.and sensitivities you will make yourself unemployable particularly in education. If you want to be an EP you will need to develop a lot more empathy to work with children and their responsible adults in and out of school.