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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we made a mistake?

20 replies

Nicenewhousebutnotsure · 11/10/2025 22:54

We have recently moved house and are now fortunate to be mortgage free. We would never have paid off our interest only mortgage and would have had to sell at some point in the next five years anyway. To do this we have left an affluent area with lots of restaurants, shops, amazing links to London and the airport. The house prices are very high so we sold at a decent profit paid off the mortgage and cash bought a new build.

I know we are very very lucky.

The area we moved to used to have a bad reputation but not anymore although people are still very critical of it. There has been a lot of development and there are many beautiful houses here. Sadly the town is dreadful. Hardly any shops and it’s just depressing. The people are lovely, and we have lots of clubs etc. But it’s incredibly run down and not somewhere you would want to go. Hence the cheaper houses. we are on the edge of some lovely countryside with stunning villages. But nothing nice we can walk to and a 25 minute drive to the train station.

We have our son his wife and their two boys within walking distance as well. Which is the biggest plus for us.

AIBU to feel we have given up an area people are desperate to move to and are now stuck in a crappy town with none of the niceties we have enjoyed?

I know this isn’t the end of the world but I would be grateful to hear if others have made similar moves for financial security and that it’s worked out well.

OP posts:
BadgerMushroomToast · 11/10/2025 22:59

Surely you knew this before you moved? That’s why housing is cheaper, and that’s your sacrifice for being mortgage free.

Ghostellas · 11/10/2025 22:59

Yanbu but you’ve still got links to London and mortgage free so focus on the benefits of that! You’ll learn to love your new town:

olympicsrock · 11/10/2025 23:01

It will be fine. In older age, you will value family and financial security more.

BubblyBath178 · 11/10/2025 23:03

You’re mortgage free!!! Yes, the area isn’t perfect but you’re close to family and have far more financial freedom. You can go and visit London if you want, just not live there.

Cinaferna · 11/10/2025 23:06

You've listed a lot of massive positives in your post: close to your son and family, beautiful countryside, neighbourhood on the up, lots of clubs. And mortgage free!

I'd focus on all of these. Make friends at the clubs. Go for walks in the stunning countryside. Invite family over for Sunday lunches. If you want a really good restaurant, go into London occasionally.

And maybe join some community groups to help try and improve what's on offer in the town.

Nicenewhousebutnotsure · 11/10/2025 23:18

Thank you all for giving my head a wobble 😉

OP posts:
FenceBooksCycle · 11/10/2025 23:25

Be the change you want to see. Start a Book Club pr Amatuer Dramatics group or whatever interests you. Go om the local Facebook group and find out what there would be interest in.

Thriving vibrant communities don't just happen at random. They are built by people who immerse themselves into bringing energy into wherever they are. You have the power. The vivacity gets sucked out of a place when people give up on it, tell themselves that nothing happens there and focus their leisure time on escaping to somewhere else.

Theresabatinmykitchen · 11/10/2025 23:59

I think there are a lot of run down towns now, even the once really nice towns have a lot of boarded up shops and an explosion of nail bars and Turkish barbers. Just avoid the town and make the most of the ares surrounding it, pretend the town just doesn’t exist.

Aweemawe · 12/10/2025 00:07

Seems like you are second guessing your decision based on what others people want / think.
They may be desperate to live in your old area and think the new area is crap. It’s not about what THEY would choose, though. You have thought it through and decided you want / need / value something different to them. That’s not wrong or a mistake. Enjoy mortgage-free life near your family and stop caring what others think.

Silverbirchleaf · 12/10/2025 00:13

You’ve sold a home but have moved a house. It’s not home yet, but it will be when you settle down.

We moved from a town, often recommended on mn as a placevto move to, across the county border to get a house. It was fine. The people were lovely and we settled in.

Myfluffyblanket · 12/10/2025 00:48

I remember that feeling a few months after I sold my last house (ancient, isolated, primitive, romantic, best views in the whole country, offgrid) and moved here ... because it was close to tarmac and had central heating.
I started to grieve for what I had left behind and had to keep reminding myself of the new joy of NOT having to locate and process firewood every minute I wasn't working or mothering.
This grief passed quickly enough, although I do sometimes think fondly of the old (stunning) house. You'll be fine, OP. New home, new life.

Myfluffyblanket · 12/10/2025 00:49

I remember that feeling a few months after I sold my last house (ancient, isolated, primitive, romantic, best views in the whole country, offgrid) and moved here ... because it was close to tarmac and had central heating.
I started to grieve for what I had left behind and had to keep reminding myself of the new joy of NOT having to locate and process firewood every minute I wasn't working or mothering.
This grief passed quickly enough, although I do sometimes think fondly of the old (stunning) house. You'll be fine, OP. New home, new life.

DoodleLug · 12/10/2025 00:49

What do you want your life to look like? Did you actually frequent the amenities in your old area? How do you wish to spend your time?

If you want to be able to walk to a show or museum every day and browse a multitude of nice shops I'd be looking at moving back, maybe to a smaller place. You won't want to do those things forever so if it's important to you now I'd prioritise it.

However your post sounds like you're taking a very general view on your new area, are you concerned what old friends may think?

To me it sounds good. My local town is awful now but I shop online and drive to a large mall if I fancy a day of browsing. I go to an event about once a month so don't mind travelling for it. Whilst on a daily basis I have beautiful countryside dog walks and a smaller, friendlier community.

Toofficeornot · 12/10/2025 00:49

Mortgage free is amazing.
We made a move similar to yours actually it made me wonder if we are talking about the same town.
I came to really love it there. I did a lot of walking, some stunning scenary and some lovely things were going on for christmas and such.
We ultimately moved back to a more busy location but it was for work and schools. But I really did come to love being further out and you slowly get to know people if you do join the clubs and things nearby. Start talking to people and join something that is going on nearby. You will soon bed in.

childofthe607080s · 12/10/2025 00:54

You have lovely people around you and clubs and things to do - anything else is snobbery - style over substance

Monty27 · 12/10/2025 01:00

@Nicenewhousebutnotsure you said it yourself it's not the end of the world, you're still in a very good position compared to others.
Plan your next move if in a year or so you haven't settled.
You might begin to make friends by then.

gottamoveon · 12/10/2025 01:12

It sounds like you’re trying to replicate your old life in your new town. That’s never gonna happen, wherever you had moved to. You lose the familiarity and connections when move. It takes time to build all that back up in a new place, so give it time, but also work hard on getting involved and integrating in the local community and it should start to feel more like home. It will need effort though. Your luck to have your son and his family nearby so that will help, but don’t lean on them too much and start to develop your own independent life.

TeddySchnauzer · 12/10/2025 01:29

IF the value of your home goes up or plateaus in a year or two, maybe use that increase to look at moving to one of those stunning villages?

TheLadyofBower · 12/10/2025 01:33

Its hard to say is yabu or not. I come from an area similar to what you describe as your new home now. I live in a city nearly 300 miles away now with all the amenities but i would move back to "home" because it's what you make of it and I could be mortgage free in a bigger house if I moved "back" so therefore enjoy your mortgage free life x

lambdressedasspam · 12/10/2025 02:11

Duno I think new builds are running places at a massive rate

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