Second child syndrome

[ToraMama]

Has anyone else been absolutely humbled by their second child? My first was so easy. She’s 12 now and she’s never been told off, she’s never had a tantrum, she’s been a text book baby.

I was so smug. I thought I was such an exceptional mother and everyone else just sucked at parenting when they companies about their children’s behaviour because my child would never behave like that.

4 years ago I have birth to my second. OMG. What did I do to summon this demon? He is the absolute antithesis of his sister. He has humbled me. I’ve realised my first was nothing to do with my parenting it was all her personality. My son is awesome but my god he is the devil incarnate. He has had testers and challenged every nerve in my body. I am so apologetic for ever thinking I was such a phenomenal parent 🤣

Apparently this is quite common and is known as second child syndrome. Anyone else been through this?

You're not alone! I remember so well the moment I realised DS2 was the child I wouldn't have let DS1 play with. And don't get me started on number three - DD!

Not by #2 but definitely by #3. I often tell people there wouldn’t have been a third if he’d have been second.

All my illusions of my fabulous parenting have been well and truly humbled.

I only have the one but he is like your eldest OP. DH believes it is down to parenting but I have no doubt that it is personality. DS is just someone who likes clear rules and boundaries and I believe was born that way.

I needed to get to DC3 but suffice to say karma hit me hard!

Omg I had other way around. Very challenging first child who made me question my parenting / sanity and an absolutely angelic obedient second!

Personality wins hands down. Never think your child is easy because you are such a brilliant parent!! I have 3 - they are all completely different.

Absolutely. My third child is nothing like my other two! No fear and doesn't give a shizzle about the rules!

Nope...all 3 of my kids were bloody difficult, enter my 4th child. He's an angel

Yes!!!

DD is a dream in every way, bar sleep.

DS is… well I love the bones of him, but he’s like living with some kind of mischievous imp with the gross motor skills of an Olympic gymnast.

My 4 were all hard work at different ages! No 1 was a tough toddler. No 2 was a nightmare baby. No 3 was a tough teenager. No 4 was also a tough teenager!

DS was very difficult as a baby, but DD was a dream. I used to have to wake her up to feed her in the daytime.

Now, theyre broadly similar to parent tho one is a young adult living at home and one at uni.

Mine are both difficult in different ways!

DD was a very tricky baby and a dream toddler. Never had a tantrum, always happy to do whatever, no problem at all. Bit of sass when she got to about 3 or 4 but otherwise she was a breeze. Happy to sit and colour, do stickers, watch TV, play by herself, etc etc. Still is at 11 tbh. We have a bit of preteen moodiness but overall she's great.

DS was the easier baby ever but when he hit 18mo all hell broke loose. He was like an actual demon, we had no idea what we were doing! He's 7 now and we're only just coming out the other side, and very slowly too. He's the loveliest, sweetest boy but he does not sit still for a second and the tantrums were/are off the scale. It didn't help that most of his toddler time was 2020-2021...

No, mine seem to all have difficult and easy stages. Dc1 was a non sleeping baby and a nightmare toddler but he was a dream teenager. Dc2 was the other way round. My youngest was a dream baby but hasn't slept properly since i stopped breastfeeding him.

Same here. #2 was an absolute breeze! My first was a nightmare.

Mine is about to turn 2, and even if he turns into a devil-spawn I feel like I've been ridiculously lucky this far.

He's cheery, energetic, friendly, but also nurturing, helpful, polite and funny.

I hardly dare have another child, because it would be hard to actually parent after this smiley little butler.

It’s a mix of parenting and personality ime. Our first child was much more ‘spirited’ than our second and he definitely kept us on our toes. We always said our second child knew we needed a break. 😂

I do think that good parenting, consistent boundaries, getting them to really understand why certain behaviour isn’t acceptable instead of just ‘because I said so’, (which is really easy to do when you’re tired and it’s been one thing after another) is really important through younger childhood and makes the teen years and beyond easier. That worked for us anyway, even our spirited oldest was a really good and easy child once he reached 12 ish, and as an adult says he remembers us having the patience of saints. 😂

saaaame. I thought we were awsome! DC2 has more tantrums in one morning than DC1 did through whole toddlerhood

I only have 1 DD12 and she was the same text book child. Her dad and step mum have a wee boy and her dad had a shock to the system with him 😂 polar opposite to my daughter. He still small but when my DD tells me things he does I do chuckle he’s funny but definitely a wee devil xx

Nope. Opposite for us. Very challenging first (still is) and easier second. Still small though so will see how it goes…

No.

Like others, mine were the other way round. Mine are adults now - all lovely - but dc1 was , ahem 'challenging' to say the least and reduced me to tears many times over the years. dc2 was so easy in comparison.

Haha yes my second is shaping up to be this way though only little still. I do nod and smile when a certain friend sounds off about the supposed poor behaviour of angelic first/soon to be big sister, who is actually the most good natured I've ever seen. Wait until second arrives and she'll realise first's grumpiness wasn't so bad after all.