Not to want one last try before IVF?

[LastcyclebeforeIVF]

We start long protocol next cycle so this is our last chance to try naturally before beginning (although not our last EVER, we could try after too).

I've had multiple ectopics and I'm potentially unreasonably scared to try again this cycle. If we do and I have another ectopic then it will delay IVF for months.

But (and it's a big but), if we do try we could conceive naturally, healthily and save thousands of pounds.

Obviously the most likely outcome is I won't get pregnant anyway.

My husband doesn't really understand why we wouldn't try - he says nothing has changed since last cycle when we did - and it's true, it hasn't. Its just that IVF now has a start date and it's very soon.

YABU - you'd be mad to miss this chance at a baby for free.

YANBU - the risk of repeat ectopic is too high (about 15%), you shouldn't risk going through that again and delaying IVF.

Ovulation is coming fast so I need to make a choice. TIA. FYI I am 34 if that plays into your answer.

You can still have ectopic pregnancies through IVF unfortunately. In fact I think it’s even higher risk compared to natural conceptions. So I would take my chances with trying naturally.

Surely the risk of ectopic is the same either way so better to keep trying?

For me, the risk is lower. The risk for a regular person who hasn't had ectopics is higher through IVF (around 5%) than natural conception (which is around 2% for general population). But because my current risk due to recurrence is already around 15% (so I'm told) it actually lowers my risk.

I also only have one tube remaining so there's only one tube left for an embryo to 'drift' into to implant during IVF.

Sorry some other context I probably should include is we have tried for 2 years, I've only ever had ectopic pregnancies.

The tube that was removed was heavily damaged and blocked which caused the ectopics.

It feels terrifying NOT to try after so long being dedicated to the cause, but I don't know if I have it in me to go through it again, and after waiting so long for the IVF the fear of having to cancel and push it back due to another surgery is almost unbearable. But obviously I would rather have a baby without the IVF! I have read so many stories about the magic 'last try' before treatment.

I think you’re both right, and you’re both wrong.
What do I mean by that? Well, I’d feel as you do in your shoes (based on info shared), but DH is not wrong in that you could have a healthy pregnancy through natural conception & nothing has changed since last month.

Ultimately, it’s your body that will carry the child (and all associated risks) so however unreasonable he thinks you are - your decision is final imo.

Ultimately you have to do what your comfy with. It’s easy for others to give advice when not living it but it’s your body so do what feels right

If you’ve had the blocked tube removed than is your risk of ectopics still high?

An IVF pregnancy is prone to other complications so I would have that last try.

Yes, I asked my consultant this same question after removal and apparently statistically the risk is not lowered.

I had PID many years ago as a teen and that is what likely caused the known damage to my removed tube - she says it is likely the remaining one has fared the same.

Overall, despite my massive hesitation I think I will still try. I had the same wobbles before, and was terrified to try again but ultimately did decide to accept the risk and continue whilst waiting for IVF. I'm not sure this is the right decision though I'm really not - but realistically the most likely outcome will be I won't get pregnant and at least I'll know I did all I could.

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies. I would say go straight to IVF and this comes from experience. I had many ectopic pregnancies before the final one in which I was hospitalised, this was in 2017. I had both tubes removed and had a baby boy through my 1st IVF in 2018 and a baby girl on my 1st round of IVF (2nd in total) in 2020. I was 35 and 36 years old when I had my children so a very similar age to you. I would say dont risk it, go for IVF as you dont have as much time as everyone likes to say, once you get past 35 the chances of conceiving drop dramatically and past 42 it becomes very very difficult.
All the best.

I’d definitely try. Both of my kids are ‘cycle before IVF’ babies. My son was conceived the cycle before we started an NHS round and my daughter was an IVF sandwich, she was conceived the cycle before we were due to have a frozen transfer.

After trying for a couple of years, the next step for us was IVF. It was due to start in January and we tried one last time on boxing day. I was pregnant in the ivf appointment and so glad we tried naturally one last time. You have had ectopic pregnancies though so I can definitely understand your situation. I think I was still try that one more time though because it's a shame to waste the ovulation window. Good luck.