To think I’ve messed it up

[Beepboopp]

So, I have been talking to a guy I met on OLD for a good few months now (maybe 6 months) I had a drink the other weekend with the girls and we ended up meeting up. I have been on loads of dates with guys and never thought I would find anything but anyway, we slept together and the conversation was great the next day etc but I think I Scared him off by telling him I liked him. Have I ruined it?

Was this the first time you met him? Or did you just meet up with him after seeing the girls and told him you liked him?

If it's the first I'd say it might seem a bit intense for a first meeting. If it's the second I wouldn't worry. Time will tell.

No because if he he’s a grown adult he can accept being paid a compliment by a women he’s had sex with. If he can’t then you have dodged a bullet.

Have you spoken to him since?

We didn’t speak for a few days after what I said but he messaged me tonight and said I had scared him a little. Part of me is thinking not that much as he messaged?

Scared him by telling him you like him? How old are you both? 🤦‍♀️ I'd bin him off for that tbh, how can you be scared by that?

I know. Honestly I am not one of those who falls in love after sex generally. I have been divorced just over 2 years after a 20 year marriage and I have had some ONS and felt nothing. I think I am going to leave it if I’m honest, I don’t want to play games.

You’ve been talking to the man for 6 months and he’s scared that you like him?

I think he’s not worth your time. You shouldn’t have to worry that you need to play a game and hide that you like someone in case they run off. You’re trying to date a man, not pet a scared baby deer.

I just don’t understand what made him message

He fancies sex again.

Yes I know it sounds a bit odd. I was prepared to just move on but then he messaged and it got me thinking if it scared him why is he bothering?

probably

Maybe I shouldn’t have had sex with him but it just felt right, we have been speaking for ages and it has always been very flirty. Another one bites the dust I suppose

Please don't feel you did anything wrong by sleeping with him! And you did nothing wrong in telling him you liked him - this is a totally normal thing to do.

This is not you.

Throw him back. He's not worth it.

I don’t regret it as it was nice, I just found him so sexy and not been that attracted to somebody for so long. I’m happy that I can feel those feelings as I thought something was wrong with me, so if anything I have learnt that I could, with the right person.

I bet he won't be too "scared" to have sex again if you are willing!

I wouldn’t, infact I didn’t actually say I liked him, I asked him what it was he was actually after before I did start to like him.

@Beepboopp your title says you think you ‘messed it up’ which implies you think you’re in the wrong. I hope you realise you’re not and personally I’d find it disrespectful if a guy said I ‘scared’ him just for saying I liked him. Pathetic! So not scared enough to not have sex immediately but too scared to deal with those words?! It’s not like you asked him to become exclusive or marry you ffs!

Couldn’t be me with such a man child 🤷🏻‍♀️