neighbour screaming at 4 year old daughter

[Beautifulsiro56]

Apologies for the long history, however my husband and I and our two DDs are moving house.
It has already been difficult as for several reasons, mainly as I have moved to my husbands home city for his work (and mine) and his family. We have tried for many years to move out of the city we are in but as both our work fields are fairly competitive we have never been able to both find jobs in the same city.
I have had a tricky time with postpartum depression and complete social isolation whereas my husband has had all his friends and family in this city. However, due to the job situation so we decided to stay put and buy a house and give it a real shot where we are.
We found a beautiful semi detached house - an incredible, beautiful house and i have had mixed feelings of excitement but also sadness that we are putting down roots somewhere where I never wanted to.
We both met the neighbours, they have one daughter who is 4 and they were SO LOVELY. I felt so pleased.
However, once in the house as we were unpacking we heard the neighbour going MENTAL at their daughter because she was crying, telling her to shut up and shes had enough of her and just shut up now.. Literally SCREAMING SO LOUD. I then heard a bang and then a cry which the little girl was clearly trying to stop/like a muffled cry. I dont want to think the bang was her hitting her child, but maybe hitting something else out of frustration, I dont know?
I understand everyone goes through different things, she may have an element of postpartum depression herself but I feel VERY nervous to now live in the house next door. I feel so nervous for myself and the little girl next door..I cant stop thinking about it. I dont want to stay in this house anymore
AIBU?

Look it’s not ideal but from what I can gather you heard one episode of a mother losing the plot at a crying child? Try and move on and forget it. Obviously if there is a pattern then that’s different but you heard one single snapshot of someone having a bad day.

I’m sure most of us have moments that we aren’t very proud of.

True, thank you for this. We all have our bad days. I hope it isnt a reoccurrence and just indeed one bad day

Listen out for any more incidents like this to see if it’s anything to be concerned about.
we all lose our shit at times , so it might be a once off or not

This could be a safeguarding issue I would be reporting this to social care

This. Listen VERY closely.

I've screamed at my daughter and chucked something out of frustration. I am still really ashamed of it. If someone had reported me to social care, my god...

Agree. I know I have yelled at my kids when they were little and I was at the end of my tether (although I don't think to the extent you describe), so it could be a one off. But it might not be. Keep your ear out and be ready to report if you have concerns about the little girl.

If they had investigated and found it a one off they would have shut the case with no further action. For all of those children that it’s not a one off for then anyone who over hears things that give them cause for alarm should report. Safeguarding children is everyone’s business.

I have made an IFD referral for a neighbour before when I have heard several instances over a couple of weeks of what you have described and I would do it again.

My next door neighbour screamed at her kids all the time. Full on shouting. The kid grew up immune to it. Didnt even cry. Just stood there (like she was thinking mum for Pete’s sake stop shouting you're just making a fool of yourself), before calmly replying that she did whatever it was she was in trouble for because blah blah. Totally unfazed.

So that to ties in with the nspcc advert about the baby doesn't cry any more as no point.

So the child crying probably means it’s not happening all the time. Yet. But it could be that it’s about to escalate if the mums near breaking point, so listen very carefully.

it’s a difficult one. My neighbours are already under social work care and they don’t scream so much now. But their patenting leaves a lot to be desired. Yet they keep churning out kids….

We had a new neighbour calling police and SS on us. My DS is autistic and sometimes have meltdowns with screaming fits. I said "well done" to the neighbour because he could have saved a child. Obviously SS came and investigated and we could show he was being cared for by is and professionnals and that was that. SS were very nice and compassionate and the neighbour excused himself saying he should have asked us first but what would we have said? Anyone will deny abusing their children.

This literally could have been my daughter and I last night.
I posted about it on another thread. Before getting to the point of shouting, I had asked, begged, pleaded, threatened, tried to remove her - all so she would stop waking up her baby sister.

Talk to your neighbour.

My daughter has just thrown toys all over the floor and stamped on them because I told her no - I've asked her politely to stop and pick them up and she has.
Sometimes talking kindly works, other times I have to lose my mind - usually while she stands there defiantly telling me no 🙂‍↔️