Aggression

[Purplerqin]

Anyone experience aggressive behaviour from teen?

Physical? No

Have my teens been cross and stormed off and slammed doors? Yes

have they ever name called me (beyond “I hate you!!)? No. Ever physically aggressive? No

I hate myself as must be my fault to raise violence.

That kind of attitude will not help. If that's the way you speak in front of your DC they will not feel safe and will not have respect for you.
I did experience some aggression from my DD when she was a preteen going through puberty and bullying.
Tell us more about what is happening and you may get some useful advice.

Of course I don't speak that way in front of dc. Dc has had aggressive thoughts and acted on from young age. Now a teen an becoming scary when charged at,physical and aggressive. Unable to calm dc down.

You can't let it become acceptable or normal if he physically attacks you, you call the police

This^ absolutely this. The police will have a chat - you nip this in the bud.

Are they ND? If not have they been assessed. To have been like this since a young age there probably is some underlying issue and the approach would be dependent on the cause. ADHD may need medication. Autism or ADHD may need support to manage sensory input to reduce overwhelm.
What helped with my DD was remaining calm and firm in teaching her it was unacceptable but also being understanding of what caused it and teaching her better coping strategies. Recognising when she was stressed or upset and talking it through or just taking her for a drive or walk listening to music to help her regulate helped prevent us reaching boiling point. She also had some counselling from Barnardos.