Should I bother ?

[Tiara2]

Hi,

I would like to ask for your advice. My son is in Year 5, and I have had experiencing some personal issues with his headteacher.

He talks about love, peace, and forgiveness, but his actions don't seem to reflect these values. The other day I attended my son's assembly. When I walked past by him near the exit door, he ignored me and my child, yet he congratulated the other child( parent and child walking behind) right in front of me. Perhaps he could put any personal issues he has with me aside.

This situation has been bothering me a bit I guess, especially since he no longer greets me with "good morning" or "good afternoon." Should I bother about this? Usually, I don't say hello if the other person doesn't initiate or no eye contact; it is very clear to me he has been doing this intentionally for a while.

Thank you for your advice.

Greet him with a bright “good morning / afternoon EVERY SINGLE TIME you see him, to remind him that some people have good manners, even if he doesn’t

What personal issues might he have with you?

I think it would depend on the ‘personal issues’ really

What are the personal issues?

What have your previous interactions been like?

There is clearly a massive back story. Maybe he has been told not to interact with you based on previous events.

It's difficult to comment when you have given so little information. What have your previous interactions with the Headteacher been like? What are the 'personal issues'?

Quite obviously there's a backstory here and if he's not greeting you because of "personal issues" then nobody can possibly comment without knowing the full story.

Why would he wish to ignore you?

Usually, I don't say hello if the other person doesn't initiate

if everybody did this, that would make for interesting interactions 😂

Did you shag him?

Definitely one where we need the full story. I’m going to say YABU because you’d have shared the story if you don’t think it would make you sound unreasonable!

Very vague, but you're one of hundreds or thousands of parents connected to his place of employment.

Why would he need to behave in a loving, forgiving, peaceful manners to you all?

Did his wife find out?

Did her husband find out?

Ha! my first thought 😆

😂

This sort of thing pisses me off. People who preach all that stuff and yet are happy to ignore people on a whim. Where I used to work they had a mental health team, and the manager of that was incredibly clicky & would happily ignore whoever she wanted to. Also in my gym it's supposed to be fully inclusive, yet one of the instructors blatantly only talks to her favourites. She has ignored me for years now.

OP, I would definitely say something. Maybe quite innocently say you're a bit confused as to why he doesn't seem to treat people equally when he preaches the opposite. Unless there's some huge back story!

Genuinely though, how often are you actually going to come across your child’s headteacher? Surely only a small handful of times throughout the whole year.

Maybe quite innocently say you're a bit confused as to why he doesn't seem to treat people equally when he preaches the opposite.

Please don't do that. Unless you really want to embarrass yourself and become that parent, you will the laughing stock

He talks about love, peace, and forgiveness, but his actions don't seem to reflect these values.
What is it you are expecting him to forgive you for? The devil’s in the detail.

Depends on what these mysterious personal issues are. It sounds like he is holding you at arm's length and not initiating any type of contact - but until we know why he is doing that then it's not possible to say if he is being reasonable or not. You mentioned forgiveness specifically - have you done something that you should be sorry for?

👍

So you don't say hi to him but it's a problem that he doesn't say hi to you?

I'm not sure anyone can really give you a proper answer, without knowing what these 'personal issues' are. To me 'personal issues' suggests, nothing to do with your child, the school or his job. If you've clashed regarding issues with your son at school, that's different than say, the fact you'd been dating but split up. It sounds very much to me, like he's keeping you at arms length. Depending on the situation, he may have been advised to do this. He can't interact with every parent and child, and I'm not sure it's reasonable to expect him to do this. It's possible you're reading far too much into his perceived poor behaviour, but it's difficult to know without knowing the backstory.

It would make sense if you actually explained what the personal issues are. Nothing you mentioned in your post even comes close.