To ask to share any stories of good DH out there

[Haloween]

We hear so many stories of shitty H every day on this platform but I wanted to see if there are any blessed women with nice DH out there who pull their weight and not gaslight them on a regular basis.

But they’re not ‘blessed’, they’re just not married to awful men.

Mine is excellent. He's caring, thoughtful, generous, and does easily more than 50% of all tasks, and up to 100% of some. He's kind to children and volunteers at scouts, has a very responsible job at which he works hard, and does all our financial planning to make sure we have a good future. He does ALL the planning and packing of the children's stuff and food for holidays (I literally just pack my stuff really), and he does his share of the housework (like an actual adult) without being asked. He is a top tier husband.

Mine is excellent. He's caring, thoughtful, generous, and does easily more than 50% of all tasks, and up to 100% of some. He's kind to children and volunteers at scouts, has a very responsible job at which he works hard, and does all our financial planning to make sure we have a good future. He does ALL the planning and packing of the children's stuff and food for holidays (I literally just pack my stuff really), and he does his share of the housework (like an actual adult) without being asked. He is a top tier husband.

Me! Does an equal share of everything including life admin. Little things like will notice one of the kids uniforms is too small so will pick up the next size next time he is passing. Picks up the slack when I'm too ill / busy without needing to be asked. Does what needs doing without it being pointed out (often I'll put a wash on then get stuck in a meeting or forget about it etc and I'll go to sort it and it's already hung out). Encourages me in my career, even when I earned significantly less than him he would equally prioritise both of our jobs. Last week I mentioned I was cold working from home but didn't want to put the heating on and he researched and bought me a heater and set up all the timings for me based on when I'm working.

His parents are the same so I credit them with how he is, they always seemed to take an equal approach, and will help out without being asked when they visit.

I always think it must be miserable if you're in a marriage where its easier when the other person is away - what's the point?

It makes me mad as well when people still claim men 'don't see mess' or whatever, it's how they're brought uo in my opinion.

My DP isn’t perfect, but neither am I so that’s fine. He works hard, he’s nice & kind & considerate & loving. He does almost all the cooking and probably more than his share of domestic stuff. He encourages me to have my own friends, hobbies & interests and would never try to control me in any way. In many ways, he is more of a feminist than I am and it was wonderful to see his genuine pride & delight when the Lionesses won the Euros. Am I lucky? No, I don’t think so because I made a conscious design not to ‘marry’ a dickhead….

Downsides? Well, he isn’t the most sociable person, he is quite opinionated, he has zero tolerance for fools and he can be breathtakingly cynical. But his faults are pretty minor compared to mine.

Me
He makes tea every morning and brings it up to me in bed
He does the big supermarket shops (heavy stuff, I just buy meat and veg, milk as needed)
He organises all our holidays and timings
I've been viral for a week and he has cooked every meal and brings me lemsip when needed
He sorts all the money stuff and does my tax returns (I am not being financially abused and have accounts/property in my name only)
He's a dishwasher jenga sort of chap so I leave him to it while I sort the other stuff
He has always cooked roast dinners since I have been with him
He's happy to go clothes/make up shopping with me (although little help as he says I look lovely in whatever I try on!)

This is against a background of being an only child waited on hand foot and finger and having a father who had to get the cleaner in to cook for him when his wife was ill!

Well i wouldn't say blessed I chose to marry a decent man, he is not better or worse than me but is human, same as my dad and other male relatives not saints and not terrible just normal men like i am a normal woman with my own faults and good bits

I'm separated but my daughter's dad is the most thoroughly decent man I've ever known. He's confident in himself so never needs to do anyone else down. He takes responsibility for himself and his environment. I hate the term but he's the most 'hands on', involved father I've ever known and has been from the start. He's supportive of both her and me (and pretty much everyone he ever meets). He is not allergic to housework (though happier to let things slide than I was). He's the only man I'd ever been in a relationship with who wasn't frankly a bit of a cunt. If/when he meets someone new I will sing his praises and mean every bit of it.

I wouldn't say blessed, but I made a good choice. I lived with him before we married and had children so I could see whether he pulled his weight. I went into it with common sense and open eyes and high expectations for my partner to be....a partner. He is a brilliant husband and Dad, considerate, fully involved, shares all responsibilities.

And like a post above, he was an only child to a Dad who proudly boasted that he never changed a nappy!

Im having a hard time at work at the moment and he's been lovely, bought me my favourite cinnamon bun today and wrote on the box: I ❤️ U

DH#2 has never said a cross word to me in nearly 15 years. I had been so used to abusive relationships (including an appalling first marriage) that for some time, I kept asking him "Aren't you cross with me?" and he'd always say "What do I have to be cross with you about?" and then add "You're the most amazing woman I ever met."

He makes me laugh from the minute we wake up to the minute we go to sleep, and always ends the day with a kiss.

One thing I take for granted now, but that really surprised me when we were first together, is that he listens to everything I say. If he accidentally interrupts me, he'll always go back and ask me what I was about to say. And then remember it, FOR EVER!!!!! This is a bit of a snag in some ways, because I do tend to repeat stories 😆

No one's perfect: he drinks more than MN would approve of, and his earning power so far has not been stunning (although this is about to change). But I love the very bones of him and wouldn't swap him for anyone. And we both know the feeling is mutual.

Mine drives me nuts sometimes but, today, as soon as he came home from the shops washed my car. I had managed to drive through a springtime evening and collected every insect I could find. I had barely finished unpacking from being away and wasn’t given the opportunity to get the car wash out. It was done.

Mine is lovely. He does way more than his share around the house, brings me cups of tea, helps with my elderly mum and is getting up at 5.30am to take DS to a sporting event tomorrow.

Mine is wonderful. Married 30 years 3 children.
He has been up all night because I have been extremely sick after the covid/flu vaccination.
At 10 am he took the youngest child to the zoo to give me room and now he his doing tea.

Mine is an absolute superstar. We've been together 28 years and he is generous, kind, hardworking, shares the household chores, shares all the cooking. He is my best friend. I can count on one hand the amount of arguments we've had. Wouldn't be without him.

Mine supports me in everything I do, is my biggest cheerleader. He is a very involved dad and we share the household chores. He really is my best friend and I fancy the pants of him.

I had a terrible first marriage, but my second DH is a treasure. He is far more patient than I am, v kind to my DC, is tolerant to a fault, does the garden and helps round the house; looked after me after I had an operation and was incapacitated - truly, I wouldn’t know what to do without him. And yes, he also brings me a cup of tea every morning - he gets up to make bread, so we always have fresh bread at home. I feel very lucky.

Mine's an absolute diamond, I won the jackpot with him. Kind, considerate, funny, a great dad, good at fixing things and has always done his fair share of the tasks.
Incidentally, he is nothing like either of his parents. If I married anyone like those two (arrogant big-head and humourless offence-taking fusspot) I'd be doing time for murder.

Genuinely think I have one of the good ones - we are a great team.

He is thoughtful and kind, not just to me but to others. I can trust him wholeheartedly with anything/ everything.

We communicate very well, have shared goals and work as a team in everything we do but also lean into our strengths - I do the finances and he does all the cooking and DIY (examples).

I read the horrors on here and it makes me appreciate our relationship. I hope everyone can find their person some day. I feel very lucky to have met him so young!

Mine does 50+ of the housework and cooking. I never ask him and I've never had to show or teach him how.

I work slightly longer hours than he does and come home every day to a spotless house and dinner in the oven.

We do our own laundry because it's easier. I strip the bed and wash the bedlinen and he replaces it.

He never questions me when I go out or judges me. I go for a drink with a male friend every week and it's never a problem.

He puts himself out to do favours for family and friends but would always prioritise me if he needed to.

He's never pissed in a wardrobe.

He's not perfect. But neither am I.

But I'm not 'blessed' either. I've never been in a relationship with a man who was any different, tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

My husband is excellent. Completely kind, helpful to others, funny, knowledgable about all sorts of things, practical, does laundry and ironing, bed changing and shopping/ cooking.

Brings me tea morning and night. He is romantic.

He’s not perfect but he is very human and he makes me a better person. We complement each other really well.

I’ve got an amazing DH. Loving, caring, hard working, funny, affectionate, clever. Couldn’t ask for a better partner. I do feel very lucky.

Mines the best! we work as a team, he is the most supportive man in the world and I fancy him - I feel really lucky. I wouldn’t swap him for anyone.. he is my second husband the first was lazy and would happily let me struggle rather than help. I knew what I wanted second time round and struck gold! His dad seems to be similar so he has been brought up well. I hope my son is the same.

Mine is totally fine.

Talked a lot about expectations before committing.

Ultimately I have always earned enough to be able to walk away and not look back.

I quite like my DH, no plans to trade him in😁

The truth is, he's a fantastic father, my best friend and I adore him.

Of course there are things about him that irritate me, but none of us are perfect. His "flaws" are what make him him.

We are team, and love doing life together (and that phrase makes both of us cringe).