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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trouble with DCs dad

5 replies

zippedydo · 11/10/2025 09:55

I’ve had some trouble with my exDP in the past. He was arrested a few months ago and there was social care involvement. He was given supervised contact for a month and now it’s gone back to unsupervised.

There was some issues with him before this - he would cancel his visit days or be very late picking up. He would send DC home in a full nappy and nappy rash etc, he also used to leave DC with his friends when he went on nights out which I hated. It meant I ended up having to have it in writing that he wasn’t to leave DC with anyone apart from his mum, sister or grandmother.

Our current arrangements for DC are 5 days with me, 2 days with him. DC is 4.

DC will occasionally say stuff to me like “daddy is crying so much”. I write this down and keep a record, but also know that I can’t approach him over every comment he makes (unless I feel like it’s a safeguarding issue/safety issue).

This morning he’s rang me and told me that I’ve been telling DC to say “I only love mummy, no one else. Definitely not daddy”. He also said that DC told him that my DH “punched me in the face until it was purple and red”. He’s also complained that I don’t reply to his texts within a reasonable time frame.

I thanked him for letting me know, reassured him I would never tell him not to say he loved anyone but me (when he says anything about his dad, I’m always positive), and there had been zero violence in our home, but I would keep an eye on everything that he says and ask school if they are aware of similar comments.

He hit the roof saying “well I’m telling you I have to take this seriously. I know all about child safety. I’ll need to take this further!”

Despite my poor relationship with my DCs dad, I never badmouth him to my son or anywhere near my son. My DH is lovely, he is a friend from my childhood. He has never ever even raised his voice at me or my son.

I’m so upset. I feel like I’m always going to have this conflict with exDP over DC. I’m worried it will impact DC.

AIBU to say he’s doing this to prove a point?

OP posts:
zippedydo · 11/10/2025 10:03

Anyone

OP posts:
SezFrankly · 11/10/2025 10:08

Continue to make notes of his behaviour, I’d be concerned about unsupervised visits, he sounds unhinged.

Devilsmommy · 11/10/2025 10:17

Oh he's definitely doing it to be a nob. Keep making your log of his behaviour because the twat will screw himself at some point

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/10/2025 11:15

false accusations are nearly always confessions. Maybe he is violent to his current partner.
do you have a court order?
is child happy to go to his?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/10/2025 11:16

Ps you handled it perfectly by the way

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