If they wanted to, they would

[0PALFRUITSS]

I read this quote today and it hit me hard about a friend.
we chat online most days and she says she wants to come down to where I live to see me. I always say, sure just let me know when, I’d love you to come etc.
yet she doesn’t come back with any dates. I don’t want to push it because well, if she wanted to, she would. Right?

True.
But roads also work in both directions. Can't you go to her? Or meet in the middle? It sounds like she does want to meet up, but for some reason the burden of setting a date and getting there as all fallen on her.

How boring.
Not very genuine obviously.

Okay so to answer some questions, she wouldn’t be staying with me. It would just be for the day. She has been before and I’ve been up to her but it’s been a year now. She wants to come here for the beach, summer is nearly over now though. I did say a couple of weekends I was free but she had things on and said ‘but I must find a date to come down’ and then never does.
She Is single with no kids. But has a busy work life and studies.
I just kind of think that if she really wanted to then she would. Now that I read that saying

How much do you want her to come?

suggest some other dates and stop being a wet blanket!

Yes and no, I think lots of people have social anxiety, which results in them wanting to, but also not wanting to, all at the same time.
I think "if they wanted to, they would" works better for closer relationships, it's helpful for the "he says he wants to marry me but hasn't proposed after 10 yrs, but I believe him, so I'm waiting" type scenario I think. With people who you don't know as well, there could be;
Social anxiety
Money problems
Caring responsibilities
Health
And unless you're close enough to know all these things, then you can't say it's purely "if they wanted to they would". That's a fab saying for people who you know so intimately, you can tick off everything on that list, but if you don't have all that insight then you can't.
Equally, if any of those are a factor, it doesn't really help you as they still can't meet up/organise the dates anyway, and they might feel uncomfortable saying that out loud. I'd give some grace, suggest some ideas/date options and see what happens.

For those who cannot do something with you because of x, y or z but can do something with another person- you are lower down in their list of priorities

Assuming no caring responsibilities or disabilities which makes travel extremely difficult then yeah, she would.

I have a friend who has a severely disabled child who she can't leave, but would love to visit me, go out for dinner, go for a coffee but unfortunately cannot. But normal work / family/ time commitments then yeah, they would.