DH golfing… who is BU?

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DH has a cousin of his visiting on Sunday. This cousin has never been particularly nice to me, as he just chats to DH the entire time and takes no interest in me or the children at all. This is despite me making a big effort to bond. Literally, I don’t even get a “how are you?” I just stand around like a spare part and the children for some reason, look forward to his infrequent visit, but then end up deflated as they are once again, basically ignored whilst DH and cousin chat for hours.

DH knew I was really not looking forward to this visit, but has come home today to tell me he is golfing on Saturday now, so he’ll be gone half the day.

I’m upset, because I feel like it was inconsiderate to organise the golf knowing that me and the kids will be having not a great day on the Sunday. DH can’t believe he is getting stick for playing one round of golf.

I don’t know if I’m just being unreasonable. I’m very tired today, so not sure if I’ll feel this way tomorrow and hoping you can help me to see if I’m the issue or DH.

One thing I have learnt is that if DH gets upset so what. Why should I then have to change being upset to pander to him. You are rightly upset why does him being upset win.
So sometimes DH remains upset until he basically realises he has no right to be. Stick to your guns

If you don't want to make too much of a statement, I'd be there so you and the kids can say hello to your husband's cousin, then say you're headed somewhere else, after a short visit (even if the 'visit' is you sitting there being ignored). If you can't find somewhere to go, I'd just ignore the cousin after a while and go do something with the kids in the garden, another room, whatever. Don't worry about being rude. If he's not actively engaging with you and the kids, it's not rude to excuse yourselves and enjoy your day!

I'd be annoyed that your husband arranged golf on Saturday when he knows you won't enjoy his cousin's visit on Sunday, but if he's going to be in a mood because you've objected, I'd just as soon have him gone—but I wouldn't be putting myself out to entertain the cousin on Sunday, either.

FGS. It’s a round of golf. You’re not his boss or his mum. Just go out and do something else or watch a programme at home. I can’t imagine telling my DH that he’s not allowed to do something.

Sorry, I don't understand. Is DH's cousin coming to visit him but DH is going to be out, golfing? If so, I'd just get on with my day and tell DH to sort it out

Sorry, should have also asked, is cousin going golfing with him?

Sorry, I'm crap and just seen this. I'm sure you can manage a weekend with your DH golfing for an hour or 2 on the Saturday and then his cousin visiting on the Sunday. Not sure why this is a problem.

Do you have any interests or hobbies that take you out of the house? If not, I suggest you find one but don't blame your DH for having a hobby and family he wants to see

Definitely go out on the Sunday - either with or without the kids. Sont stay to have a crap day on your own home - it is your weekend too. H used to do this too and want me there so I could do the boring shit like make lunch! But I got sick of that so made my own plans.

Available 😄
Hopefully people who choose to have children realise they have to be available to look after them.

Hi OP - is the bigger picture that you’re feeling lonely and haven’t had a chance to carve
out your own interests in the new location? If DH has golf, which can lead to meeting new people and a new circle, is there an opportunity for you to have a hobby and meet some friends?

Stop people pleasing op! He isn’t nice to you. So stop bending over backwards to accommodate him. Use this as an opportunity to start making some new friends for you on Sunday. So join a hobby group of whatever you like doing. And do that on Sunday. And don’t feel bad about it. He isn’t feeling bad about playing golf is he. In fact, on the contrary, he is cross you’ve even mentioned it. So he can have no possible comeback if on Sunday you go off on a half day yoga retreat/or whatever.

golfing for an hour or two

😂😂😂 yeah, that’s not golf…

Good point. He shouldn’t be arranging golf unilaterally then.

Please tell me you don't run around after the cousin making cups of tea and offering biscuits?

He is rude so you be rude and head out, even if its to the local cafe for tea and cake with the kids.

Nothing wrong with DH and cousin catching up but keep yourself out of it.