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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to pre-emptively give notice?

2 replies

AndSoFinally · 10/10/2025 18:09

Possibly more of a WWYD.

I have heard on the grapevine that an employment offer I’ve received is going to be withdrawn due to a problem with a previous reference.

I think the information is likely correct and I’ve no reason to doubt it, but obviously plenty of other things could happen in the interim that may change this as the decision has literally just been made.

I’m actually ok with this as was already in 2 minds about whether the role was for me, so don’t intend to argue my case. However, I hadn’t 100% made up my mind.

If I have an offer of employment withdrawn (NHS) is this something I will have to declare to future employers, like I would if I was dismissed? I’m pretty sure it’s a question on application forms isn’t it, along the lines of have you ever been dismissed from employment or had an offer of employment withdrawn?

If so, would I be better off withdrawing from the post myself prior to officially having it withdrawn? Would this circumvent having to declare it in future? I’m assuming no one wants to have the awkward conversation with me so they may very well never mention it if they know I’m going anyway. Alternatively they may still feel the need to tell me they were intending to withdraw the offer, but I guess I’m no worse off than I would be if I didn’t put notice in.

AIBU to essentially jump before I’m inevitably pushed? What would you do?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 10/10/2025 18:17

I don’t think I have ever declared if I have had a job offer withdrawn and I have been in the NHS since 2003. What is the issue? Is it a not so good reference or is it a bigger problem like dishonesty?

AndSoFinally · 10/10/2025 18:34

It relates to a previous complaint. I told them about the complaint but the reference mentions aspects that I didn’t (because I didn’t think they were important and wanted to stick to the facts of it). I’m not sure if they are going to go with a probity issue or just that the extra details of the complaint now make them feel I’m unsuitable.

I could definitely argue my case but not sure if it’s better to just go quietly if I was half thinking of turning down the post anyway

OP posts:
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