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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bullying

4 replies

SourPatchKidz · 10/10/2025 17:55

Since year 5 there have been two children in my son’s class that have systematically been unkind. We have mentioned it in passing to the teachers to keep and eye out and they have. It’s year 6 now and it’s unkind comments daily so far this term, accusing my son of punching them (which the teachers investigated and found to be a made up lie). Today he was told he was fat and so many other horrible comments. Having water spat at him. Some of the other children stuck up for him and the TA was told and made them ‘hug it out’ and said to them they both needed to attend a club at lunchtime next week together about being friends and making up. I absolutely do not want my child to attend this, he is not the problem here. The other child is. So why should my child be told to attend this club? AIBU? It all sounds really petty and ridiculous written down but it’s contact shit they dish out. We haven’t gone in for a meeting in the past about it because the first thing the teachers do is get my son and the other person involved to sit down together to work it out. It’s gone psst that stage well and truly. I am seeing red mist but need to make sure I’m not being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 10/10/2025 18:40

YANBU. Since the schools punishments are non-existent, I would advise DS to punch him in the mouth. Last thing you want is for this crap to carry over into secondary school.

SourPatchKidz · 10/10/2025 19:05

That’s what I feel like telling him to do but it’s not in his nature. Good to know not being unreasonable. His form teacher is so approachable so I will start with an email outlining the issues and say I don’t want him attending this club next week. Thank you.

OP posts:
NoobieDoobie11 · 10/10/2025 19:26

Totally not the same situation but for a while my toddler was being bitten at nursery (I know - not at all the same). But I wish I could share the email my husband wrote - maybe slightly formal but he included phrases like ‘safeguarding’, ‘duty of care’ etc. I read it thinking I’m so glad you’re in my corner and they have a father like him. I also think those phrases cause a bit of panic so people react and do something about things.

I would set the tone of the email that this is not ok and expect it to be dealt with properly. I’d be so annoyed if they made my child hug their bully!! Maybe use chatGPT to draft a hard hitting email. I’m so annoyed for you!!

Ablondiebutagoody · 10/10/2025 21:55

SourPatchKidz · 10/10/2025 19:05

That’s what I feel like telling him to do but it’s not in his nature. Good to know not being unreasonable. His form teacher is so approachable so I will start with an email outlining the issues and say I don’t want him attending this club next week. Thank you.

Sign him up to boxing or jiu jitsu. He'll have a few skills by Spring and will be feeling much more confident by September.

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