AIBU: to not let DS16 to go out with friends overnight

31 replies

SassyBear2 · 10/10/2025 15:25

My DS16 wants to go with two of his friends and some girls to oxford for halloween. I asked him what hell be doing there and he said he has no plans yet but they'll try to get into some club or some house party. He said he doesn't know what time hell be back but be plans on returning by train and it will be quite late. AIBU to not let him do this? I'm not stupid and I know that a group of 16 year olds will be drinking given the chance but why is he trying to go oxford without any specific plans yet?

OP posts:

IPutASpellOnYou · 10/10/2025 18:59

Devonmaid1844 · 10/10/2025 16:20

Definitely let him go, you've an opportunity to speak to him about safe choices and have him feel he can call you if there's a problem. I always told my mum where I was and what I was up to, and although I never needed it if I felt unsafe I would have called her and told her I messed up. Doesn't mean she just let me run out the door, she'd talk about how to stay safe while having fun. My best friend wasn't allowed to do anything so she lied to her mum, snuck out and was generally a bit crazier because she was rebelling.

I agree

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 10/10/2025 19:02

I voted yabu because Oxford is your “downtown” for where you live being only 1hrs drive away and with regular trains to/from it.

Instead of saying no, work with him on how to be safe and about texting you updates now and then. Offering to pick him up if he misses the train or is in a situation he isn’t comfortable in.

Halloween parties are what kids that are too old to trick or treat do.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 10/10/2025 19:07

NewYorkSummer · 10/10/2025 16:21

He absolutely won’t be getting into a club unless he has fake ID, and even then club security are very hot on that kind of thing nowadays. DD once got refused entry with her actual driving license because they didn’t believe it was her! My guess is he’s heard of a house party through the grapevine. At 16 mine went to parties of school friends and people they knew, not somewhere an hour away.

There are clubs for under 18s, and those ones have Halloween parties. My DDs went to a few at that age. No alcohol is served.

NewYorkSummer · 10/10/2025 19:14

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 10/10/2025 19:07

There are clubs for under 18s, and those ones have Halloween parties. My DDs went to a few at that age. No alcohol is served.

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Yes I guess some cities have those, maybe that’s what OPs son means.

Satisfiedwithanapple · 30/10/2025 17:52

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 10/10/2025 19:02

I voted yabu because Oxford is your “downtown” for where you live being only 1hrs drive away and with regular trains to/from it.

Instead of saying no, work with him on how to be safe and about texting you updates now and then. Offering to pick him up if he misses the train or is in a situation he isn’t comfortable in.

Halloween parties are what kids that are too old to trick or treat do.

An hour away from Oxford is not ‘downtown’ 🤣

I’d definitely say no OP.

edit: although tbf at rush hour it’s probably only a couple of miles with the crazy traffic.

user1471497170 · 30/10/2025 19:27

My 17 year old was taking about going to Oxford for Halloween for some open free party last weekend. Probably the same thing. We live an hour away and have never been. Fortunately she decided not to go but her friend went and lost her new phone .

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