I’ve known someone for a very long time. But lately I’m questioning if the friendship is healthy.
She’s always been emotional and eager to please, wanting to be seen as caring and thoughtful. But over time, I’ve noticed her actions seem more about how she feels than genuine consideration for others. She’s attentive to people she wants to impress, but tends to let down those who are always there for her (me included).
Plans we make often fall through, yet if I step back, she suddenly floods me with messages like “Are we OK?” or “Just checking you’re alright”, followed by emotional posts about our friendship. It creates a guilt cycle where I re-engage, and the pattern repeats.
When I’ve tried to talk about it, she flips it, accusing me of being unreasonable or claims that she’s giving me space. Recently, I’ve had a tough time with family losses, health worries and work stress, but despite knowing that, her focus stayed on her own problems. She’d ask for help or advice even when I said I was struggling.
When I don’t reply, she starts sending “inspirational” friendship posts that feel more like a way to ease her conscience or just a way to keep some sort of grip on me, rather than a genuine expression of care. I’m starting to feel this might be a toxic dynamic, maybe even narcissistic behaviour, but I’m second-guessing myself.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Does this sound like a normal friendship that’s run its course, or something more one-sided and manipulative?