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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel like i’ll never get over this?

3 replies

ralsta · 10/10/2025 09:37

my ex and i split in january after a rough few months, i’d found out he’d been seeking sex with prostitutes whilst i was pregnant and again whilst i was post partum. he’s never treated me with much respect, compulsive liar, big drinker so it was time for me to leave for me and my kids.

but recently (after 8 months) he’s got a new girlfriend. and all i can think is how can he just move on that quickly, why wouldn’t he just try and sort himself out for me and his kids. i found out from a naked photo of them posted to instagram because he ‘couldn’t find a good time to tell me’ he also told me he was working away so couldn’t see the children, but i then found out (again) from instagram that he’d been away with her

although j know my children will get absolutely everything they need from me, mentally, physically and financially i can’t help but just feel sad for them, why couldn’t he just be a better person so that we could be a family?

will i ever feel okay about this? i don’t want him back now, there was a time when i did. but when will this hurt ease?

OP posts:
Scrope · 10/10/2025 09:46

he’s never treated me with much respect, compulsive liar, big drinker so it was time for me to leave for me and my kids

Not kicking you when you're down, OP (I mean this kindly), but you had multiple children with someone you admit always treated you badly. He showed you who he was over and over again. He's just continuing with his usual behaviour. He was never going to suddenly have a personality transplant.

Cinaferna · 10/10/2025 09:50

You will get over being with him. You will be exceptionally glad you didn't waste your life with him or let him influence your children.

You may always regret having children with such an awful man, and for a ling time you might feel a bit fragile about your life during pregnancy and postpartum. But of course you will get over him. And, I hope, fall for a man because of his good qualities like reliability, kindness, respect.

randomchap · 10/10/2025 09:53

As harsh as this sounds, he didn't care about you while you were together. Why on earth would you want him back ever

Use this to draw a line. Only talk to him about co-parenting arrangements and issues.

He's nothing to you other than a co-parent.

You deserve better than that wanker

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