AIBU to be wary of helping this little girl?

[whatsupsis]

On Monday we had an email from school regarding an incident they had been made aware of by the police. A year 8 girl waking to school was stopped by a woman in a car and the girl panicked before the woman spoke to her. She ran to a local shop and called the police. Reports in the local media later that evening asking for witnesses. School said in the email they do not know what the woman’s intention was but asking us to talk to kids about stranger danger.

im at school now. The SEN kids get out an hour earlier than the rest of the school. They have all gone home in their taxis or been met except for one little girl. I’d say year 8 or 9. She’s walking u and down the front of the school and looks terrified or close to tears. I know she wi have ASD or something similar so is probably really frightened. I’ve phoned in to tell the receptionist but so far no one has turned up to help her.
Im really wary of asking her does she need help. What would you do? AIBU to just watch from afar? Should I approach and try to help her?

Ask her if she needs some help

Let me get this right.

A child ran into a shop and called the police because she thought that a woman was going to speak to her?

The police presumably attended this and on the basis of nothing happening what so ever, have put out an appeal on the local news for witnesses to this non event?

The school have also put out a statement in response to this non event?

Now, you have seen a child on theor own outside the school and are wondering if you should check on their welfare?

This is all very strange.

Nothing happened. The child ran away before anything was said or any action was observed. Yet everyone, the school, the police and local media are acting as if something did happen.

I'd just leave before you get arrested. You haven't done anything either but apparently that's not important where you are.

Did this really happen?

Obviously help the child?!

Presumably you’re a parent of a child in the school and not a random adult hanging around the playground? Go and help the wee girl and take her into the reception. What are you worried is going to happen?

You notified the school receptionist/secretary so you have done your bit. Go home and let the school staff deal with it.

The school put out the email to parents because the kids in the school had spread so many stories and parents were calling the school to get facts.

it was covered in local media because some one told them about it. And twisted the story to say it was an immigrant in the car.

police then put out a Facebook post detailing the car and the woman - a white blonde woman. I assume in order to stop the racism. It’s rife here at the moment.

Of course you ask her if she needs help.

Just don't attempt to if you are a bloke in a mini skirt, don't assault her or shove her in a van and I reckon you'll be OK. Amazed police in your area turn up for a woman speaking to a child. We can't even get them out for armed burglaries here.

I’m a parent. One of my daughters has SEN and is beside me the other is out at usual time of 3:30 so we hang here and wait on her. The girl is just waking up and down the path in front of school.

Are you worried about approaching her in case you frighten her more as she might be worried about being approached by a strange woman? Because that makes total sense.

You were right to let the school staff know.

Ask her if she’s ok. I get that you might be worried about scaring her if you approached her given the prior incident (which sounds like a total non incident but that’s beside the point) but I don’t think that would apply if you have your DD with you would it, because she’d recognise her from school and know that you’re not a ‘stranger’. If that makes sense.

looks like a class room assistant is waiting with her now. I gave the assistant a thumbs up and they are waiting together.

yes I was worried if I approached her she would be frightened.

The other option, if you think she’ll be more upset by you talking to her, is for you to physically go into school reception and tell them one of their students is distressed and needs urgent help.

But honestly I’d just go and ask her if she’s ok.

What a weird thread. Why would a Y8 child panic before a woman could even ask her anything? She was probably asking for directions 🤷‍♀️ what a non-event.

Why wouldn't you help a child from your kids' school who's visibly in distress?

Surely young children are not left at the front of a school if not collected? I've only ever known schools where teachers see the children off at the gate so this wouldn't happen.

@XelaMim sorry you think it’s weird. My reason for saying what happened was because locally it was made into a big deal - All the kids have talked about it all week. I remember what this sort of Chinese whisper news is like and I was worried I would frighten the girl since she likely is SEN and she doesn’t know me.

Someone has made that poor girl so afraid of the world that she immediately thinks a person speaking to her from a car is a threat, that's awful. I'm even more shocked that other adults have acted as if that was a reasonable response.

Couldn't you have just sent your daughter to ask if she was OK?

@FOJNno my daughter has SEN. She wouldn’t do that.

Isn't year 8/9 13 or 14 years old? Still very much a child but not 'a little girl' really. If you have your DD with you, surely you could approach a teenager to ask if they're OK? I'm sorry your local area has reached this level of hysteria.

I’ve never known Secondary school to see the kids off at the gate. Most of them walk home alone so wouldn’t be much point surely?

Oh sorry, I assumed primary when I read little girl.

Probably a Mumsnetter in the making. In twenty years time she’ll be hiding behind her sofa sobbing and shaking and refusing to open her front door.

Just before Christmas, I took my DD, then just turned seven, to her normal early evening dance class. There is another girl who has not only obviously attended the same dance class for years, but is at the same school as my DD, in the year above, so eight at the most. I know her by name. She arrived late with no accompanying adult, wearing only a sweater (this was early December).

At the end of the class she left her sweater where she had dropped it next to me and waited at the outside door for her pick-up. I gave her the sweater and asked if someone was coming for her; she said yes and I asked if she wanted me and my DD to wait with her. She said yes and seemed relieved. If it makes any difference, I am male and white.

Since it was sub-zero and dark I also offered her my coat and asked if she wanted to wait in the car with my DD. I deliberately said this in earshot of the dance school organiser, who has also known me for years and smiled at me.

I thought I was being helpful and looking out for a girl on first name terms with my own daughter. The Dad was grateful too when he arrived a few minutes later, but two other Mums wrote to the dance school that evening and complained about me, and told the organiser she should never have allowed it to happen.

Sometimes you just can't win for other people's batshit paranoia.

@InveterateWineDrinkerthats shocking! But it’s exactly why I am hesitant. The massive mountain made out of the episode at the start of the week was ridiculous. There were so many people jumping on social media to comment and make assumptions about what happened. Aside from that the girl was collected at 3:30 when the assistant who waited with her spoke to the person collecting her. I was glad all was ok but made me realise I’d hesitate to step in now.

@Delphiniumandlupins OP is in Northern Ireland. A Year 8 could be 11.