Hello,
I’m looking for some advice regarding in-laws.
My husband is originally from Ireland. He moved over here as a builder after he was doing some work on a house and we met and got married etc. He has a big family back home. We have always visited 3-4 times a year, usually it being our only holiday to see grandparents/aunts/cousins who very rarely visited us. (This is because we can stay at his parents house as it’s big but they have to stay in a hotel here as our house isn’t big enough. Uncles and cousins have never really visited which upsets my husband privately).
last year, my husband who is very private had a breakdown and was taken off work with stress. He was very sad about a personal situation. He was very embarrassed and rang his parents, in confidence, for help.
they ended up telling people over there and it has really effected our relationship. They knew how personal the topic was and how sad and struggling we were here and it felt like a breach of trust. I messages explaining we were upset and the reasons and our whole relationship with the Irish side turned sour. We didn’t go over for a few months so they came over for an occasion. (Family wedding over here of another cousin who lives in UK). It was awkward when they came and they were very rude. She is adamant now we go over for Christmas but I really don’t want to. Their whole attitude and the way they’ve treated us has been horrible. Issue is we have small children so difficult to go NC. Has anyone managed to awkwardly keep in-laws in their lives for the kids without having a proper relationship ?! Any advice much appreciated