Do you celebrate life events at work?

[Formerdarkhorse]

I work for a large corporate and have noticed there are no celebrations for colleagues for things like weddings, Mat leaves, promotions/leaving, big birthdays etc. No collection for a gift, card and not even any buns or a quick gathering in the kitchen. Is this weird or just the norm now?

I’ve had no major life events while I’ve worked there so not personally affected, however when one of my team had a baby a couple of years ago, I mentioned arranging to send flowers/gift to a colleague she looked surprised and said why wouldn’t I just do this myself. No official rules and we are all well-remunerated, so that’s not it either.

YABU- not the done thing
YANBU- let’s celebrate

Our place does and wish it wouldn't - so cliquey when some people do things for their team and others don't. Better to have a blanket 'no' policy!

I've had to endure this for years, leaving dos fine. Anything else just bring a cake or something if you wish. Its public sector, I really hate the way women do extra cooking, flowers. Gifts etc and the men usually do fa.

At my work place -you get a day off for your birthday (to be taken within a two week window); card from the CEO for birthday, significant birthday / baby / wedding / partnership a bottle of fizz or appropriate gift from CEO. A bereavement, significant illness or operation CEO will send flowers or donate to funeral fund and babies / retirement are normally marked with a small cake led do

In a smaller office birthdays and leavings were marked with a card and cake and there was a secret Santa. The big bosses got everyone a bottle and chocs at Christmas. That was the best.
An only slightly larger one had a collection every five minutes for someone’s something or other and it became so unaffordable it had to be vetoed. A rich lady who was only working for something to do arranged it.

In my company we do big birthdays, weddings, babies, and we’ll always send flowers if someone suffers a bereavement (with permission from the bereaved!). It’s usually me who organises the gifts, I have no problem doing it - and I usually get a bottle of wine or a voucher from the CEO at the end of the year to say thank you for all the time I’ve spent organising gifts 😂😂

For weddings, retirements etc we’ll have a collection and a card. But it’s all online now. The days of a physical card going round for people to sign and an envelope for people to put cash into are long gone.

I’m quite glad because there would always be that awkward gathering everyone together to give them the card and the money.

Pre-Covid my team used to do secret santa and give out the gifts at our Christmas lunch, but we don’t even do either of those things anymore. Homeworking has made us much less sociable.

All the small celebrations you are talking about turn into having to do and buy things for everyone. It’s a total pain tbh

That’s sad! Everywhere I worked it was an excuse to do something to celebrate. In the last company I worked for, I was only there for 6 months when I had my baby and the colleagues from my team sent me a basket with things for me & the baby and the company separately sent a voucher for John Lewis and congratulations card from HR!

When I started work many years ago we always bought cakes for everyone on our respective birthdays. Leaving cards/collections were also a thing. But from what I've read (mostly on MN) it seems to have got out of hand and there's a whip round for every mortal occasion as well as things like Secret Santa. It sounds like a lot of pressure and expense, especially with the cost of living these days.

I'm recently retired. We did but there was no equality. I think it's lovely to do so, but it was very much if your face fit,which is awful.
NHS.

My previous workplace was small and we celebrated birthdays and suchlike but not everyone contributing, instead the person whose birthday it was brought in a cake to share. Also Fridays were often celebrated by someone bringing in cake or pastries or something. Nobody got married while I was working there so don't know what would have happened but one person retired and brought in cake and another person left and I made a cake for him and brought it in (then felt embarrassed and said I just made a cake because I was bored )

For Christmas we all got company hoodies and we had a big party that was actually really fun, with all food and drink provided and taxis home paid for everyone.

Just started a new job in a bigger company (but still small, around 50 employees) so not sure yet what it'll be like, but I imagine it won't be the same as people have their breaks at different times here so there isn't a natural moment to all have cake.

Years ago it was for everything and it used to annoy me. Two couples got moving in, engagement, wedding, babies and leaving presents. When I moved into my first mortgaged home I got nothing. I only got flowers when my DF died because my friend pressured HR.

We also used to do Secret Santa.

It's too much. I no longer contribute to anything but I sometimes buy a colleague/friend lunch to celebrate a new role.

We don’t really do it that much where I work.

There’s usually a card and a collection if someone leaves or has a baby, but that’s all.

If someone’s having a ‘big’ birthday they might send a calendar invite round for drinks after work, if they fancy it, but we don’t do cards, gifts and cakes.

My own small team did send me flowers and a card after my dad died recently, which was lovely of them.

I can't be bothered with this type of thing tbh. In a big team it gets ridiculous. I tend to ignore requests for donations now because there was a point I was constantly expected to chip in for gifts for people I hardly knew for things I didn't really consider an occasion or that weren't marked for me previously e.g. more senior staff member's 30th when my own was ignored months before. That said I do buy individual gifts sometimes for those I'm close to. For example in my smaller team within the team I bought a gift for friend at Christmas to say thank you small decoration at £6 and she bought me a wee plant probably of similar value. It was a lovely exchange and just the right token gesture. I'm tired of being asked for money for: someone's hen do that I'm not going to, a promotion within the same team, same person's engagement, then wedding, then new home, a retirement of someone id never met or worked with, a student I hadn't met leaving gift (been there 4 days), not mention sponsored this and that and pay for my teen to travel half way around the world to 'help' poorer people. The older I get the easier I find it just not to respond to emails or when pushed just say 'no' politely. I must sound such a bore 🤣 but I promise I'm not.

Post Covid we do much less and I’m glad because it gets a bit out of control!!

There is no organisational recognition for life events where I work and never has been.

In the past, there would be a collection and presentation if someone organised it. Unfortunately, this caused bad feeling, because some people had a lot of fuss made for them and others had none at all.

It came to a head when someone who had had a significant birthday without even a card from colleagues was asked two weeks later, to contribute to a leaving present for someone who had worked with us for only a year.

She complained to HR that it was a formal of bullying to expect her to contribute to someone else's card and present when her own birthday had been completely ignored.

HR agreed and the policy now is that any celebration or gift giving must be organised and presented outside of the workplace and working hours.

Retirements yes, others less so. I've decided when I retire not to have a leaving do, partly because I politely decline most of them unless it's someone in my team or others I work closely with.

We always do cards and collections. I have a large team and spend up to £50 a month putting into collections. But i’d rather do that than blank special occasions.

Birthdays not really, but weddings or births yes. Also bereavement we would send flowers, or donate to charity.

My work was huge and had a social fund everyone paid 5 per month but it wasn't enough they put it up to 10. When that happened I came out of the social fund.i was at an age of no occasions but the youngsters got hundreds of pounds engament, wedding, new house,babies and 30 th /40 th birthdays. One girl was counting bundles of 50 pound notes she got for a baby. It was ridiculous. I now work alone thankfully

Yes, everywhere I’ve worked has marked major birthdays, weddings, births. However, I complete get why employers wouldn’t in the modern workplace, where treating someone inconsistently can easily be twisted into something it’s not. It’s far, far easier to just not do anything for anyone.

We love celebrating each others life events!
We have a whip round for big birthdays, weddings, retirements and for people going on maternity leave. We club together to buy nice, thoughtful gifts and all bring in food for a nice buffet lunch. There are only 23 of us and are nearly all long standing staff.

I work in an organisation where everyone moves jobs every 2 or 3 years, so leaving is really common, but we'll still do a card and donations (usually online). A bunch of people left at the same time last month and we had a night out with dinner and drinks. But not a leaving 'do' for everyone usually- it would be unworkable. If you're leaving altogether or retiring maybe. You'll get mentioned in the fortnightly meeting as well.

Weddings or babies get a card and a whip round- birthdays it depends on the team but most people might bring some cake.

It's all very casual and very nice. When I'm a team leader I keep records of birthdays if I have them and make sure to mark it with birthday wishes.

We also tend to do a departmental night out a couple of times a year (just an area booked in a pub), no pressure to attend.