Ex badmouthing to DD about me

[Orangeandgold]

I have a teen with my ex. We have not seen him since the pandemic (2020). He was a lousy dad and had lots of issues with money and weed so we broke up.

He popped up in our lives out of the blue (well he has been messaging my DD who has been informing me), and he came to see her but did it in a very sneaky way which led to me blocking him as it ended in an argument.

Now he has just sent a very long voice message to my DD bad mouthing me. Essentially telling her that I will end up leaving her and he will be there and that me and my family are evil because we are wishing him bad blah blah blah.

When I turned on my old phone (which is the only number he has access to) I have seen that he has sent a long trail of messages, over several days - again calling me names, then apologising, then calling me names again.

I honestly want him to have nothing to do with our DD. He is clearly still toxic and hasn’t grown up. I don’t even know what he does for a living.

What can I do next? Take him to court? Remove his custody? Get a restraining order?

Oh, I’m really sorry you’re going through this mad situation. When your ex is running their mouth to your daughter and badmouthing you, it’s called parental alienation, which is basically one parent trying to turn the child against the other. It’s awful and can seriously hurt your relationship with your daughter.

Now, in the UK, parental alienation isn’t actually a crime, but family courts do take it seriously because it’s harmful for both kids and parents. The main thing to do is gather all the evidence you’ve got all those messages and voice notes. Then you’d usually speak to a family solicitor who can help you make an application to the court, like a Child Arrangements Order, to sort out who your daughter lives with and spends time with. The court might even order therapy or restrict your ex’s contact if things are that bad.

There’s also a group called Cafcass who get involved in these cases to check out what’s going on with your daughter and help the court decide what’s best for her. Sometimes if the alienation is really serious, courts can even move the child’s residence.

It’s super important to keep your cool, be the calm, steady parent, and keep showing your daughter you love and support her no matter what.

How old is your teen?

Ex partner or ex husband?

Is he on the birth certificate?

What does 'remove his custody' mean?