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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Toddler suddenly scared of bath after poo incident

3 replies

elm26 · 07/10/2025 20:55

A couple of weeks ago, DD (she is 2 years 4 months), pooed in the bath. She said “oh no poo” and I said “it’s no problem, mummy will clean it”. She’d already had a hair and body wash and was just playing with toys so I got her out and in her pjs and when she went to bed, I cleaned the bath and thought no more of it.

Ever since, it’s been a struggle to get her in the bath. She used to absolutely love it and it’s part of her bedtime routine. I’ve tried to get in with her, I’ve tried the shower, I’ve tried new bath toys. She screams and sobs until I’ve done the bare minimum of giving her a wipe down with a flannel and the warm water. I avoid washing her hair every time and by the end of a bath that includes a hair wash I’m soaked from where she’s scrambling to get out clinging on to me leaning over the bath.

She keeps screaming “I’m scared” and “I need a poo” and DH and I keep reassuring her that it’s absolutely fine if she does poo, we say “just an accident” and we are the type of house who doesn’t stress out about toddler knocking over a drink or anything, we are really laid back people and she has no reason to stress about it because of us.

We’ve resorted to asking her if she will go in with her swim nappy on which she will but she’s still nervous/crying.

We tried toilet training in the summer, she’ll sit on the toilet, roll off some paper, flush, stand on her stool to wash her hands but won’t actually wee or poo on there (or her potty). She chose some knickers that had her favourite tv show characters on etc, we tried to make it fun. Blowing bubbles on the toilet to try and encourage her to sit for a bit longer, sticker books etc. after 2 weeks I accepted she wasn’t ready yet.

She starts pre-school in January and since the poo accident I’ve been asking if she’d like to wear her knickers but she ends up crying for a nappy to be put on. I was thinking that if she is potty trained then she’ll have more control over it so will find it less stressful.

She shows signs of readiness as she tells me when she needs to wee/poo, her speech is excellent and she talks in sentences etc

Anyone else been through the same? Not sure where to start with resolving this/getting her back to enjoying baths/potty training.

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 07/10/2025 21:19

Lay off the potty training for a bit probably. (Whichever bits stress her out. ) Stick to pull ups/nappies for a bit. It probably won't take long until she has forgotten/grown up a bit to try again.

Gradually reintroduce the bath. Let her play, fully clothed , with toys next to or in the bath. No water.
Try some playing with dolls/other toys in doll bath. (Possibly start with the other toys such as toy animals)

Try washing her hair over the sink if she can lie on the draining board/work surface on a towel.

Try different things to see what works.

Fispi · 07/10/2025 21:31

Would back off the potty training for a few months then try again. Probably just a worry for her that it will happen again. Eventually she will forget. Would keep everything low key. Stand up flannel washes etc.

Very unlikely to be an issue for your DC but sharing just in case. If DC is well generally then this isnt relevant. Keep an eye on the poos, when DC goes and the colour. DD pooed in the bath around that age then was hysterical. Would not get in the bath and kept crying 'poo bath poo bath' it was awful. Went on for months. She had a few incidents of very pale poo, GP put down to too much dairy. She caught every bug going and used to run to the toilet in the middle of meals by the time she was potty trained. Was in hindsight very tired. Said her head hurt often or her tummy, used to get very itchy.....all symptoms for coeliac disease. I pushed for paediatric review and she was diagnosed with Coeliac disease in the end age 3.5ish. All makes sense looking back. Her results were off the charts so she had been unwell for a long time. Grew like a weed once her gut had healed.

Shattereddreamsparkway · 07/10/2025 21:39

I had very similar with my daughter. Tried potty training when she was 2.5yrs, she had an accident and pooed on the floor and was utterly traumatised by it and refused getting in the bath. Screamed and was completely beside herself. I put her back in nappies and did sink washes. Was patient and able to get back in the bath after a few weeks. Went to toilet rather than potty when she was 3yrs3months and she did it in two days and no accidents since - the only thing I have to offer is go back in nappies for a while and she feels comfortable in the bath again then give toilet/potty training another go. Good luck

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