Would you expect a thank you from dss?

[everlyevers]

Just came back from holiday with my ds dh & dss. Dss is 17, ds is 15. At the end of the holiday in the car, ds said thank you to us both for the holiday. Dss didn’t. He simply got out the car and said bye.

I was very put out to be honest. It felt so rude. No thank you or even a nicer goodbye.

AIBU? 17 feels old enough for manners. BUT I genuinely want to know what people think, maybe this isn’t something to expect a thank you for???

Yabu tbh

Let it go 😄😄 hes 17 and probably has other things on his mind

I doubt I ever thanked my parents for taking me on holiday, until I was an adult and living seperately to them tbh.

I wouldn't expect a thank you from my adult sons either, thinking about it. It's more likely that I'd say thank you to them for coming.

Does ds live with you full time? Does dss?
Are there lots of other ways ds is better?

I wouldn't expect any of my kids to thank me for a holiday tbh.

It's clear you think your ds is superior to your dss though, and I imagine that comes across more in person than it does in a short op.

I’d expect a conversation either on way or on arrival home - like “ that was a great holiday , I liked ….. “ that would be a thank you for me
Teens don’t think like us and need to verbalise the way we might expect
I certainly didn’t thank anyone for holidays as a teen but was always happy and grateful for them ?

Yeah tbh I don’t even mean a thank you. More just acknowledgement or something

OP, I’ve learned to ensure my (our) own DC say please and thank you. I’ve long stopped trying (or caring) if DSC do the same. Saves a lot of stress. Not your circus, not your monkeys, etc. Just parent your own DC.

Yes this, I think you are being a bit picky with him.

I always try to make sure my young DDs say thank you. But I don’t expect a thank you from my children for going on holiday.

Is he generally polite and pleasant? Or is this annoying you because he’s often rude?

Doubt they wanted to go but had no choice, no idea why you are dwelling on it.

I guess it depends how he was during the holiday. Happy, engaged , chatty , enjoying himself, seeming grateful or actually saying thank you during for x,y,x? Then that’s your thank you.

My children always thank me for a nice day out/ holiday ect. My oldest in particular is always praised for his manners. He’s 10. At 17 a thank you would be expected!

Unreasonable. Do you want eternal gratitude for it?

My children are very polite and love holidays but I can't imagine them saying a formal 'thank you' as they get out of the car, like they're a competition winner or something.

I'd like to hear the 17 year old's perspective.

Also your issue should be with your DH surely, if you think he's raised such a 'rude' son?

My DC (15 and 13) are very polite. Routinely thank me for cooking their meals, driving them around etc.

I don't think they thank us for holidays! Probably because we plan something that we all want to do. So it's a shared experience, not something we are doing for their benefit. If they say they've had a great time, talk about what they enjoyed etc then that is enough for me!