To not want to visit new baby?

[user1478188491]

My sister in law has just had her 4th baby and mother in law says I should go and visit even though we are not that close and I hardly ever see her.
I’ve had my own issues with conceiving and suffered a very traumatic ectopic pregnancy earlier this year. Our baby would be due around this time.
Im really struggling with the idea of having to visit and take gifts, hold the baby when it’s such a hard emotional situation.

Would I be wrong to not visit and make my excuses or should I put my own feelings aside and do it to please others?

Absolutely not.
YOU don't have to do anything.
Ignore your MIL completely......none ofvher business.

YANBU. SIL should understamd.

why does your MIL to dictate wether you go or not? Just don't go. You aren't close.

God what is it with toxic mother in laws! Mine would be the same! You do what's best for you OP

You're not in the wrong for not wanting to visit around the time of your babies due date. But you can be happy from a distance.
if she was closer to you would you feel different? I think it's a shame to isolate yourself from other family and babies indefinitely but you're not unreasonable to keep a bit of distance while it's around this time.
definitely send well wishes and maybe a card and some flowers though.

Is this your husband’s sister? Has their mum said the same to him?

Your SIL’s brother, ie, your husband, should visit his sister and do all the goo goo gaga-ing. He can make your apologies AND tell his mother to direct her SIL and baby related comments to him 💐

Is your MIL telling her own son he should visit his sister?

Hes already seen the baby when I was at work

Then that for me would count as sufficient visiting on behalf of you both. Your DH needs to tell your MIL to back off and send a card saying congratulations on behalf of your both if he hasn't already. Look after yourself.

I would send a lovely gift / well wishes, this is your niece/nephew. But as long as your husband has done the visiting/holding etc in person, if this is someone you wouldn’t usually see anyway then I don’t think you need to go too.

Just tell your mother in law no need your dh has seen the baby.

If you aren't close why would you visit anyway. Send a card and or gift. I am sorry for your loss

Your husband represented you both.
End of story.
Mute your MIL, permanently, if she feels she gets to tell you what you can do.

You don't have to go see a newborn just for the sake of it, if you are not close to your SIL then I don't see why she would care anyway.