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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Awful idea, or feasible and fun?

33 replies

YourSpryOrca · 07/10/2025 09:53

I’m a first time mum due in March 2026, looking for advice on whether this is doable or a terrible idea.

My best friend is getting married in July 2026, so baby will be 4 months old. The wedding will involve flying from London to Edinburgh and then either a 3 hour journey on public transport, or a 1.5 hour taxi to the venue. We will need to stay in a hotel, but the venue is quite remote so the nearest one is probably a 25 minute taxi away, so there will be some driving on the actual day of the wedding as well as the travelling to/from Edinburgh.

I would love to see my friend get married and for the baby to meet all our friends, but I also think it might be far too much for them and could actually be really miserable for all involved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts please as I’m aware there’s a good chance I’m being a naive first time mum who can’t quite envisage having a baby. Thanks

OP posts:

CuckooPond · 07/10/2025 09:57

Impossible to say, really. I was flying shorthaul with DS by myself from the moment he’d had his first vaccinations as all of both families are outside the UK, but only you will know closer to the time what you’ll feel comfortable with, and whether the fun of attending a close friend’s wedding is worth the hassle of a trek with a small baby. We’ve also travelled to weddings overseas with baby DS, but he was almost one, and I think nearly two.

Goditsmemargaret · 07/10/2025 10:04

I would have been fine with this but my baby was exceptionally easy, just her personality. I'd say it's a possibility.

FateReset · 07/10/2025 10:06

Sounds like a terrible idea, sorry. I would be sad. Did she not think of the distance and lack of transport available for guests?

Maybe they secretly want fewer guests, so choosing a remote location helps.

Weddings tend to be very boring for kids, let alone dragging them through airports, long car/train journey afterwards. Is leaving kids at home with a relative an option?

If your little ones travel well, you could make a bit of a holiday of it? Eg book a self catering cottage nearby, hire car in Edinburgh, stay a couple of days either side of wedding, so it's not all travelling and kids can unwind after journey? Flying even short distances can be so tiring with very young children, especially if they get ear pain from air pressure. Allow for delays. I flew London-Edinburgh recently and there was a 6-hour delay at Gatwick, luckily the car hire stayed open for us to pick it up!!

What will you do about sleeping arrangements and all tje nappies and stuff you'd have to carry? Buggy, travel cot, feeding? If taxi, make sure you can book car seats.

Mandylovescandy · 07/10/2025 10:06

We went a similar distance for a wedding when baby was at similar age. We drove the whole way (took probably two days over it I think and saw some friends on the way) so we could take all our stuff but you get quite a good allowance on a flight so sure you will be fine. We had a great time. I travelled quite a bit during maternity leave, both with my partner and solo, and enjoyed it (obviously could be a hassle at times but overall worth it). I would say to your friend that you really want to be there, you are planning to be but that you will have to confirm nearer the time which allows you to see how you are getting on

BaronessBomburst · 07/10/2025 10:08

I travelled from the Netherlands to Cornwall for a wedding when DS was four months old. It's doable but you'll need frequent stops to feed and take your baby out of the car seat/ carrier. We took two days to travel there. Expect to miss whole chunks of the wedding and dinner too as you'll take the baby out if they cry, and again, to feed and change.
However I did enjoy myself and don't regret going.
We didn't fly until DS was 7 months but had no problems. You'll need to feed on landing and takeoff as the sucking helps with pressure in the ears.

RappelChoan · 07/10/2025 10:10

My first baby went all over the place at 4 months old, perfect age to travel if you have got to grips with having a baby, as you have recovered mostly from the birth and they are not toddling or needing food.

My second was a total PITA at that age though as she was fussy about what position she slept in.

So it’s impossible to predict, but not a terrible idea.

Smartiepants79 · 07/10/2025 10:12

Any reason why you can’t get a car? Why all the taxis or buses ( I would NOT do that by the way)? A hire car would make a lot more sense to me personally. It is a hard thing to judge before the baby is here as there is som much you don’t know. How will baby be? How will you be? I was still physically recovering at 4 months with my first baby!

DeedlessIndeed · 07/10/2025 10:13

IMO our long haul flight with a 4 month old plus shorter connecting flights were far far easier than the 3 hour flight to Spain with a 1 year old.

My advice is to hire a car the other side though and to make a holiday out of it.

Bottleplant · 07/10/2025 10:13

I think 4 months would be easier than with a newborn or a mobile baby/toddler.

So, it depends if you're going to avoid all these kinds of things indefinitely because it's too hard with a child, or whether you're prepared to put yourself through it. The reality is you won't know that until baby arrives.

Mulledjuice · 07/10/2025 10:14

You say "we" - is that you , your partner + baby?

I look at that stage as being (in practical terms) the easiest time to travel- baby is small, portable, doesnt need much entertainment, will sleep a lot, and won't need solids. If Breastfed, even easier!

A lot will depend, though, on how YOU feel - postpartum recovery, how feeding it going, etc - and how the baby is, jabs, etc.

What time of year would this be?

comoatoupeira · 07/10/2025 10:14

can you rent a car?

Mulledjuice · 07/10/2025 10:15

Weddings tend to be very boring for kids

A 4 month old baby will not be bored at a wedding!

Mulledjuice · 07/10/2025 10:16

comoatoupeira · 07/10/2025 10:14

can you rent a car?

I would only do this if another adult was driving. My baby wasnt good on a car seat and it would have been beyond stressful to be driving while he screamed in the back.

Mauvehoodie · 07/10/2025 10:16

As others have said it's hard to predict. Both mine would have been fine and 4 months is a really good age to travel imo (depending on baby obviously) as they're beyond new born age but still very portable and not on solids yet which helps. I think it will help if you have your DH/DP there with you who can take baby out if they cry and take on more of the baby care so that you can catch up with friends. If you plan to go alone with baby, I think that would be more tricky and you'd end up giving baby 80+% of your attention.

It might be worth hiring a car at Edinburgh so that you could drive to the venue and back to hotel etc on your own schedule rather than waiting for taxis etc.

Bearbookagainandagain · 07/10/2025 10:19

I think it's totally fine. Younger or older would be harder actually, 4 months old is relatively easy to travel with.
The only issue for me would be the transport from Edinburgh. The ideal would be to rent a car, is that an option? If you take a taxi you need to make sure they have a suitable car seat.
I wouldn't consider 3h public transport on my own with a baby after a flight personally. It's too much on 1 day.

Eenameenadeeka · 07/10/2025 10:20

It's hard to know without knowing the temperament of your baby, (which you obviously won't know until they're here)but I think its manageable. 4 months is an easy age to travel with because they aren't tiny, but they also aren't mobile so usually content just being held. Plus if you're both going, and only have one baby you can take turns it should be fine. We took our second on a 3 hour flight and a couple of long (2-3 hour) drives to visit family when she was 4 months, and I don't remember much of it so it must have been fine haha.

Gizlotsmum · 07/10/2025 10:22

Honestly I would do it. Could you hire a car so not reliant on taxi/public transport? Make it a few days holiday so go up maybe a couple of days before, then leave day or so after the wedding? Maybe get holiday cottage rather than hotel? Babies that little are pretty portable.

comoatoupeira · 07/10/2025 10:22

I think if you didn't go, you would look back when your child is 1 year old and realize you can do so much less, and wish you had gone.

Bitzee · 07/10/2025 10:23

Fine and perfectly doable. By 4 months you should have found your feet but baby won’t be mobile yet or old enough to need food or entertaining. Honestly, it’s probably about the ideal age to do anything travel wise because it’s about as easy as it gets before they come out the other side of the toddler years. The only point I’d make is that you drive then I’d rent a car over all those taxis or public transport it’s just more control over when you leave and if you want to take breaks to feed etc. But otherwise sounds fine.

userwhat632 · 07/10/2025 10:24

It’s doable. But do you really want to put yourself through it? Sounds like hell! Will you be breastfeeding?

Bearbookagainandagain · 07/10/2025 10:25

FateReset · 07/10/2025 10:06

Sounds like a terrible idea, sorry. I would be sad. Did she not think of the distance and lack of transport available for guests?

Maybe they secretly want fewer guests, so choosing a remote location helps.

Weddings tend to be very boring for kids, let alone dragging them through airports, long car/train journey afterwards. Is leaving kids at home with a relative an option?

What will you do about sleeping arrangements and all tje nappies and stuff you'd have to carry? Buggy, travel cot, feeding? If taxi, make sure you can book car seats.

You realise that we're talking about a 4 months old right? They will not get bored at a wedding or need to unwind after travel... 🙄
They also don't really need a buggy (a sling is much easier), all hotels I've ever been to can provide a travel cot, feeding a baby that age is a non issue.

RBowmama · 07/10/2025 10:26

Not sure which way we are voting AIBU or not but I personally would be planning to go as a first time mum. You just won't know how you will feel and how your baby will settle until nearer the time tbh. I have friends who would never do this and other such things whereas I absolutely would and would make the best of it/lower my expectations.

Dueindecemberr · 07/10/2025 10:27

I think it will be fine. Much easier than with an older baby or toddler and you should have recovered/ feel well by 4 months.

pinkspeakers · 07/10/2025 10:33

Just do it if you want to go. What's the worst that can happen? Within reason, I think it is always best to give these things a go. Otherwise life starts to feel very dull and restricted.

We travelled to a friend's wedding in Belgium when DS was under 6 months and DD was not yet 2. I don't think we thought twice! DS was always an easy child, but DD was not! We were not able to stay at the venue, but the bride and groom were kind enough to let us put our children to sleep in their room (we borrowed a travel cot) as I think it was the only room there. Obviously we retrieved them when we left, before the bride and groom went to bed! So if you can set up something like that I would recommend it.

We also attended a couple of UK weddings (with some travelling involved) when DS was under 6 months old. It was a busy half year for weddings!

pinkspeakers · 07/10/2025 10:34

PS - I think we travelled to Belgium by train. Which I prefer generally, but especially with a baby and toddler.

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