To ask if this is abusive

[Namechange152]

Name change as sensitive topic. Basically me and partner haven't been getting on for a while, have two young kids, things have been stressful. He feels I'm not changing things he has asked me too. He tells me ik not making effort to lose weight or eat healthy. I am overweight and have been since having first kid, did manage to lose some weight and since having number two I'm back to the weight I was before second pregnancy. I've had a hard time with mental health this time round and haven't focused on weight loss. If I eat anything unhealthy or snack he will comment. He tells me we don't have the same values anymore as I don't care. Argued tonight as I went to cafe with daughter and we both had a cookie.

Id buy a multipack of cookies and work my way through them right in front of him.

I have a question (might be completely off here) but if you decided to go jogging every evening, leaving him to look after your daughter - would he be happy with that?

That's abusive as fuck. There are things he can ask you to make the effort to do, but losing weight is not one of them. Even if this is coming purely from a place of worrying about your health, he does not get to dictate your diet. I think you should make it clear to him that you'll be losing 13 stone if he doesn't back the fuck off.

I'm often tempted, and have told him that criticism doesn't help me it makes me feel less like trying. Also no when I have asked him to have kids he will often complain and he's also complained about wasting money when I have booked more expensive fitness classes.

This is how he frames it that he cares about my health but he also admits he thinks I'm fat and "didn't sign up for this". There are times I eat rubbish and I do want to lose weight but I have had awful anxiety and mood issues and food is a comfort for me.

It is abusive as he is policing what you are eating.
It may well be that your anxiety levels would reduce if you were not constantly being watched and criticised. It’s perfectly normal to have a cookie when you go out.
He is not helping you; whatever you do he complains - ask him to have the kids, he complains; book a fitness class, he complains; take the kids yourself and happen to eat a cookie when you are out, he complains. No wonder your mental health is poor.
You have been pregnant and birthed two babies. Of course your body has changed. He could be telling you that you are amazing and to focus on your mental health and making sure you are okay; he could be looking after the DC so you can go to the gym as this would be good for your mental health; he could be asking if you had a nice time out with the DC - but no, he complains instead. And then has the cheek to say it’s not what he signed up for!