To get upset over this?

[Itme11]

Lately our 3 nearly 4yo is getting a bit boys are the best girls stink. His preschool teacher told me theyre all like that at the minute as they separated them to line up to go out once and it started there.

But he keeps saying stuff and I shouldn't show it bothers me or upsets me. I dont know if hes just doing it to like get me reacting and ask him not to say it etc? But he'll say stuff like why dont you take my little sister out and we'll have boys time.

I want daddy to take me to swimming lesson
I want daddy to do bed time girls stink

Like he's asking dor his dad a bit more (my DH)

I guess im sensitive as hes always been such a mummy's boy and ive got such guilt as his younger sis (1 ,nearly 2 ) has been so needy and only recently will go to other people. I'm worried he's annoyed with me

Is this normal sometimes to seem like he kind of prefers the other parent ? Its making me so sad and I find myself trying to be 'better" and more fun but I have them on my own a lot so I do the telling off if he hits or kicks etc. Dad comes in is fun time frankie play fights playing around etc he likes marvel and our son does so im just worried he thinks myms a boring nag

Completely normal for them to have phases of preferring one parent over another. Also completely normal to say silly things especially if their friends are. I really would worry about it. Enjoy the break it gives you and be glad he can bond just as well with your DH. There’ll be a new phase round the corner!

Normal. My boy/girl twins did this. They are 8 now and don’t care. Just ignore.

Where is he getting this " boy,'s time " from? That sounds like learned behaviour.
My son was an only child but he didn't differentiate between boys and girls. They were equally just his pals to him and he was equally friendly with both.
If your child is talking about girls " stinking" he is learning it from somewhere and I would be finding out where from. And talking to him to rectify what is quite worryingly sexist attitudes.

"you're not coming to my party!" was a favourite retort and also quite amusing as I was the one who organised their parties

When I got "your not coming to my party" they were told there wouldn't be one without me as no one else would organise it.

The boys time thing was something his dad said as i took his baby sister to a toddler dance class (it goes up to age 3 so he couldn't join it) and he wanted to come so his dad just said it in passing and they went on a little adventure

I wouldnt really go as far to say he has sexist views ? I referenced pre school in my post as I asked his key person and she mentioned theyre all currently doing it as someone started it in the garden line up one day. None of them will actually know fully what it means and I doubt the kid who started it is sexist

I don’t recognise this in my DS’s life. He had close female friends right up until we moved countries when he was nearly eight. By the age of ten or so, he was hanging around only with boys, but didn’t think girls were a different species or anything.

I'd say that, as he can clearly tell girls from boys, his view that girls stink is actually classic sexism. I'd be tackling that view as a priority.

ETA at the very least it is rude/ bad manners and you and your DH should be correcting him and then putting some effort into finding out where he's getting it from. If my daughter were sharing space with a boy who regularly declared that girls stink, I would be furious if the staff were not taking it seriously.

Okay I obviously do speak to him about that. Explain all the girls/women in his life he loves and adores and tell him how they don't stink.

He also says his dad has a fat bump (he doesnt lol) he is repeating a lot from pre school and like I mentioned i had a chat with his key worker as when he said the girls stink thing and the 'fat' bum comment (we dont say that ever) i asked about it.

I correct him and talk to him about it but y3s hes currently copying a lot. He stopped at a Mario t shirt in next the other day and asked for it as he 'loves Mario so mucb' (hes never played Mario or watched anything mario) turns out one of his pre school friends likes it and wears Mario stuff.

He’ll be getting it from friends at school no doubt.

I’d try to react as little as possible. Just carry on as though nothing was said, difficult as it might be. Definitely don’t try to over compensate and fight for his attention.

It might help if DH says nice things about you when they’re together, or about girls and boys both being lovely etc

Well if his dad talks to him about " boys time" then he is obviously teaching him a sexist view point!

Right I'll just clear up. Dh isn't sexist, and he does say nice things but may say to him to focus on saying both girls and boys lovely to mirror how im trying to correct it

My post was about. My eldest seeming to want dh a bit more when hes always really been a mummy's boy

He will not grow up to be sexist. I will obviously correct this stuff and I have taken the steps. I found the source of why he was saying these things and I can only correct him

I think it's definitely copied - my son will say boys are better etc, despite one of his most regular playmates at the park after school being a girl hes known since they were babies at the child minder! They aren't in the same class unfortunately, I think she would put them all in their place! (or maybe fortunately as I do worry he'd stop playing with her just because there seems to be such a divide in the class!)

I also think it's quite a normal time for a child to have a bit more of a "dad" phase. Typically they're all about the parent they spend most time with when really little, and then the other becomes more of a novelty!
I don't think "boys time" is terrible though. I used to love a "girls night in" with my mum when my dad went out and my little brother had gone to bed. It never made me actually think badly of either of them! Maybe their next bit of boys time could be spent doing or planning something nice for you, to show they can have that time together without it meaning he can't still show you love.

Thank you as some posts i read had me losing my mind. My older brother never grew up sexist and me and my mum had 'girlie morning' where we'd go get our nails and hair done :) he's go to the team we supports football games with my dad he got a season ticket from a young age. And hes fine.

My son was born a boy / male and unless he specify he wants to identify as something else we will let him identify as that?

Pre school are also doing a module this term of ' this is me ' so the kids are learning all.about themselves and who they are. They probably have mentioned what sex they were born as unless parents have specified not to etc

But also thank you as it makes sense. I had a whinge to my best friend and she said similar that dad is a fun novelty as he spends most of his time with me i have to teach him not to run away at the shops I have to teach him not to snatch toys most of the time so I seem boring. Dad finishes working long hours and like I say is fun time frànkie

Love the boys time idea thank you :) will definitely suggest

I don't think "boys time" is terrible though. I used to love a "girls night in" with my mum when my dad went out and my little brother had gone to bed.

There is nothing wrong with a boy wanting to spend time with his father. There is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to spend time with their mother.
And equally a girl should ideally spend some individual time with her father and a boy individual time with his mother.
Why define this in sexist terms?

And a father isn't a " boy" - he is a man. And a mother isn't a "girl" - she is a woman. So to describe either parent as a boy or girl to their child is just plain ridiculous.

Oh @Itme11 this place is batshit at times.

Of course he’s not being sexist. He’s three!! He has no concept of sexism or misogyny!

It’s a normal phase and as long as the adults around him correct him he will grow out of it.

Nothing wrong with ‘boys time’. My son loves to hang out with me, with me and my husband and just my husband. He loves to spend 121time with his dad. It’s ridiculous to suggest that is some sort of misogynistic statement!

Dont over think it, if you and your husband role model good values all will be well!

Btw we have explained mummy is a woman daddy is a man, but he says no you're not you're a girl and a boy 🤣 hes 3 years old we will teach him the correct things but sometimes its not worth going over it when they can be so stubborn!

Exactly. And he’s not being stubborn.
it’s how he understands the world at the moment. Boys. And girls. Mummies and daddies.

He’s three!!

Reading this and where you said earlier that he said why don't you take sister out and they'll have boys time - to me I think maybe he just really enjoyed the adventure he had with Dad that day, and he'd like to do that again.
I think it's good for kids to have one on one time, and it's normal that they go through phases of preferring one parent. You said he was Mummys boy so you had your turn, and now it's Dads turn for a while. I personally enjoy the Dad phases so I can get a little break now and then haha. I think it's all normal and nothing to worry about.