DS14’s behaviour is beyond challenging. It has progressively got worse over the past few years. To the point where it is unbearable, there is no reasoning with him, there is no getting through to him that he’s in the wrong/behaviour is unacceptable. He’s increasingly becoming more aggressive at home.
He has 2 little sister’s (7&4) from myself and stepdad. Stepdad has been in his life since he was 2 and his dad and I separated when he was one.
He is demonstrating very negative, aggressive, argumentative, and down right bad behaviour in front of the girls on a daily basis. They hide from him when he starts raising his voice, they cry and become very upset. However, DD4 at times almost looks like she is now used to his behaviour and doesn’t even flinch or bat an eye lid at some of his behaviour however. Which concerns me.
No matter what we try to do to help DS and help to try and improve his behaviour, nothing helps and nothing works.
We have to live with his aggressive outbursts and drama’s on a daily basis and it is significantly affecting all of our lives. Personally, I honestly don’t know how much more I can take.
He has not been through any traumatic events, yes he lives a life where parents are separated and he has two homes and two sets of parents and siblings, however he has known no different and both sets of families provide him with love and, mainly, positive home environments.
He can be a great kid, he can be very loving and caring. But something is going seriously wrong somewhere.
He has had a comfortable upbringing, plenty of life experiences including worldwide travel, has a good education and does well at school, has plenty of friends, well liked at school as far as I’m aware, has a respectable family, he has a nice family home, all of the materialistic and up to date things that teens want etc. He couldn’t want for much more. However, I wouldn’t class him as a spoilt brat.
If he was an adult, his behaviour at home would be classed as abusive emotionally and mentally. I am obviously concerned for him and his behaviour, but I am also very concerned for DD’s and what they are experiencing and having to live with on a daily basis. I’m also concerned for their future relationships as they will become more and more used to this sort of behaviour and will learn that this is “normal”.
I explain to them that this is not good behaviour etc, but they still should not be experiencing it on a daily basis.
He is becoming increasingly more aggressive and intimidating towards them; and myself.
this post is not about DS and the potential extra support he may need, it’s more about my concern for what DD’s are witnessing and experiencing.
would I be unreasonable to suggest that DS stays at his dads more often - perhaps 5 nights a week there and 2 nights here? Currently he spends 2 nights there, 5 here.
he Doesn’t have younger siblings at dad’s and therefore there aren’t any younger siblings being subjected to his behaviour. Whereas here, there are. I feel like it’s needed to give all of us some respite. But also because he seems easily triggered by DD’s (even though they are good kids and don’t purposely do anything to trigger him)
I know some people will think that he might feel rejected and that may worsen the situation. And maybe so. However, I am at breaking point and don’t know what else to do in order to protect DD’s and also my own mental health and sanity.
his dad is very supportive of me and fully understands the situation that I increasingly face because of DS’s behaviour.
So yeah, AIBU to suggest and think to do that? In order to mainly protect DD’s from what they are experiencing.