Hoarding all my DCs things!

[FigTree123]

I really struggle with getting rid of anything that belonged to my DC. It was a difficult pregnancy/birth and so I think I'm overly attached to everything that belonged to them. I have a full sized cupboard with every baby blanket, baby towels, bibs, I've kept every book, very rarely throw out toys. I have a cupboard overflowing with old baby clothes because I can't bear to part with them. I've deliberately kept some stuff because we plan on having another child so a lot of these things will come in useful, but a lot of it I know I don't need and would buy again new (bibs, muslins etc). I feel guilty to throw anything away as it belonged to them. Is this ridiculous or do other people also find this hard? Our house has space for now to keep all these things, but I need to get on top of it at some point (particularly toys).

If you are planning on having another child
just keep it. I found that after DC2, the bits I didn’t reuse from DC1 lost their magic and I was happy to clear out most.

Well why don't you just keep it all and when you die someone else can just throw it all away.

I think the fact that you have posted means that on some level you know you are unreasonable. I would be keeping things that would be used by a future child but if you know you would buy something new then I would say you should let go of the things you are not going to use.

Donate to a refuge?

I def think you can keep things for the next baby but if there are things that you don't use or want would it make it easier to move them on if they were going to someone who needed them??
We have a local Baby Bank that you can give to-or a charity shop.
Feeling like you are helping someone might make the parting easier?

I had favourite blankets and clothes made into bears .
kept any wooden toys and they are now being used by their children.
everything else was photographed and put in a memory scrap book I made for them and then donated.

The thing is, we are alive for a few decades only. After your death, there will be no museum of your child (at least, it's a very unlikely scenario) and the only person who wants these things, on some level, is you.

Therefore you'll either keep things until you die and someone else will chuck them out, or your child will reach adulthood and you'll try to give them these things and believe me they will NOT want them, and they will chuck them out.

If you keep them, they will just use up space and make you feel all weirdly emotional and possessive and you'll kind of resent them being there but be unable to get rid. What a mess.

Just keep the things you are likely to re-use for your next child, donate or recycle anything you won't reuse. Pick out a small handful of sentimental things if you like, and hang on to them. Preferably things that are small, and can be displayed or kept somewhere like a memory box for you to look at from time to time. Take pictures of it all if you want, so you still have something to look at after it's gone.

My mum was a bit like this over baby stuff after younger sibling grew up, holding on to all sorts, even down to toiletries and things that shouldn't be kept for very long. I think she could have done with some counselling tbh, as it's usually not about the stuff but about the emotional attachment to things stemming from childhood events like bereavements etc. It makes me sad to think about it really.

Stuff is just stuff OP.

I’d keep everything because I’d reuse everything, bibs, muslins and all. Why wouldn’t you reuse toys instead of getting rid of them?

After my second child I was done though and everything I’d finished with left the house immediately - it’s just “stuff”. I kept a couple of first outfits but no child or parent is ever going to reminisce over every vest or sock they ever wore.

I also found it helpful to drastically limit how much stuff they had in the first place - babies and toddlers grow fast, they don’t need vast numbers of outfits and piles of baby towels. It’s just more to eventually get rid of again.

For the things you know you wouldn't use for a second baby, I'd keep one of each and donate or toss the rest. Put the items you're keeping in a memory box and stow it away. You can always get rid of even those at a later date, if you find you no longer 'need' them, but there's nothing wrong with holding onto a few keepsakes. Taking photos, as a PP suggested, is a good idea, too.

I am like this op. I find it so hard to throw away anything at all to do with their childhood. I did sell some nice clothes on eBay and used the money towards taking them to Disneyworld. I also donated some baby things to a charity as I thought it was wrong for me to keep things that other people less fortunate than me could use. But I still have far, far too much and I need to sort it.

I kept a few things of sentimental value, eg first baby gro, shoes, socks and favourite books but donated/recycled the rest.

As pp said, we’re not building a museum of our DC’s life. Keeping too much stuff will weigh you - and them - down.

Exactly- it's fine to keep things for another child. You don't know yet what you will use again. Some of it is baby dependent anyway. When you are done having kids you will be happier to give it away.

You can reuse bibs and muslins (or am I just scuzzy?!)

I'd sort it into two piles 'practical' (stuff you will use for your second child) and 'sentimental' (stuff you're keeping for no practical purposes).

Pack the practical stuff away in age bands so you can get it out as and when you need it.

Buy a memory box and keep from the sentimental pile only what will fit into the box. Things like first shoes or a favourite outfit, yes. Fifty stained muslins, no.

You can absolutely reuse bibs and muslins - and it would be far more environmentally friendly to do so.
Well washed muslins are also so much softer and more absorbant than brand new!

I was meaning more the stained, washed out looking bibs and muslins, I just thought as they are so cheap and it's the kind of thing you get gifted anyway, that I wouldn't need to old ones. Even saying that and knowing they are done, I still can't get rid! I appreciate all the suggestions to just keep a memory box or only one of everything. I need to get myself to that point which is the hard bit.

We have kept all the books our DCs loved, we have the room and the space to keep them. The book stage loved the most were the chapter books we read to them. Find the things that you share a memory with them.

I also find filling a bin bag for the charity shop. If I can’t remember or care what is in it. It then goes

Never throw muslins. We are using them as tea towels 10 years on!

This 😂

I always kept clothes, accessories and toys as it would be useful for the next child and they were.... nothing wrong with reusing it in fact we always get carried away with the first born and over buy everything, so it makes sense to keep hold of them in the hope of using them again. Once you have your second child I guess it becomes easy to let go, until then just keep them but try to sort it all out and maybe put them in vacuum bags so they don't overspill your wardrobes.
You're a sentimental person, give it time it will get easier ❤️

I’m like you and am now overwhelmed .. my DD isn’t interested in any of it so finally at 14 (her) I’m being brutal and getting rid.. the local charity shops are very grateful for some of the lovely things I’m finally forcing myself to part with.

It‘s easy enough to throw the stained muslins in the washing machine with a package of dye and reuse them. The second child mightn’t need them. I went through several a day with one baby and perhaps one a week with the other (and the other way round with those dribble bibs).
The second baby is really useful for sorting out what is generic baby stuff or habits and what is personal and individual.

Oh I love to keep everything!
All those memories. Sorry that’s not much help!

This does sound like hoarding to me, by avoiding getting rid of stuff you’ve trained your brain to be afraid to of getting rid of stuff.

Like any other fear the only way through is to feel the fear and do it anyway:

Id start with the easier stuff and find ways to give it away that feel easier, charity shops or to a refuge etc.

Stuff should not own you.