Son lost job, and I want to ask for feedback

[TheOneandOnlyPrincessFiona84]

So my son after a long period of not working, suffering anxiety and depression managed to get a job recently. He was loving it and it was good to see him happy and gaining confidence.

However he became unwell with Covid and had to call in sick. This was a customer facing role.
After less than a week of being ill he was fired via email with no real reason given.
As he's an adult, it's not really my place to contact them but I would really like to get some feedback for him.
would this be unreasonable?

They can't discuss staff members dismissal details with you!

i knew I was being unreasonable

Totally unreasonable, I’m afraid. But he can ask.

You can suggest to him that he contacts them for feedback.
It would be incredibly undermining for you to make contact yourself.

Very unreasonable and an invasion of your sons privacy is would imagine!

More details needed really. How long was he there? Was this the first absence?

either way via email is a bit shitty.

I know. Just ranting

He's an adult, of course you can't do this. He needs to ask for feedback himself.

If they really did fire him for catching COVID then they sound like shit employers anyway.

You would be hugely unreasonable. I would imagine the reason for dismissal is the obvious one - being off sick for a week very soon after starting the job.

No. It's a breach of GDPR. And would infantise him and possibly embarrass him when he's feeling vulnerable even if he did give permission for you to speak on his behalf.

He needs to ask for feedback himself. He is entitled to a reason for dismissal but any correspondence certainly shouldn't be coming from his mum. Just be supportive and help motivate him but don't directly get involved.

He should ask. They could have fired him just because he took sick leave in his probation period but it’s unlikely, so it would be useful for him to know about any other performance concerns they had.

That's a real shame. I'd encourage him to ask for himself. You can support him, but it has to come from him.

You can encourage him to ask but bear in mind that no one wants to hear negative things about themselves.

I would say no you should not. They are unlikely to discuss it with you anyway; data protection and all that.

The adult world is tougher than ever these days so it’ll be a learning curve for your son to email for feedback. Something in writing from them will be valuable as a reference point in the future.

It’s great that he was enjoying his role and I hope he doesn’t let this knock back play on his mind too much. No experience is ever wasted and I can imagine how you feel too. It brings out the Tiger Mother in us! I hope he finds a new job soon. Good luck to your dear lad.

Absolutely not

You can suggest he does it if you really think it would be helpful but you can’t do it yourself!

Much as we might still worry about our adult kids we have to let them live their lives - we can’t do it for them. Apart from anything else it’s disempowering for young adults to have parents stepping in for them like this - they need to know you’re confident they can run their own lives.

My DC are mid-late twenties and we’ve been pretty hands-off in this regard ever since they went to uni. We’ve absolutely been there to help them in every way we can when needed and requested but we don’t interfere in the details of their lives at all. When DS was at uni it was recommended that he do a year in industry as part of his degree and most of his peers did that. He was adamant that he wanted to stay in or near his uni town for that, thus narrowing his options considerably which meant in the end that he didn’t get an offer. We told him that we thought it would be a good idea to widen his search and spoke about the merits of the year in industry for future job prospects but he said he still didn’t want to so we left it and didn’t bring it up again. It’s his life and he has to live it his way. Neither DH or I would ever have dreamed of getting involved in his job…would you have wanted your mum phoning up your employer as an adult? I’d have been absolutely furious!!

Thanks all x I was really just ranting and it wasn't really a question lol.

Oh op I know you’re gutted for him but you absolutely cannot email them, how mortifying. Was it a seasonal customer service role? I’d imagine they’re pretty ruthless with leave in that type of job (not saying that’s right or wrong, just facing facts) but could he go ahead and just get applying for other similar posts?

OP - they most probably let him go because he went off sick during his probationary period. Employers can ve brutal with customer service staff.

Onwards and upwards!

How long had he been there for? And did he follow the correct procedure for notifying them of his absence? It seems a bit harsh to just dismiss him for being poorly.

Yes, he needs to handle it himself as an adult or move on. I hope he finds something else soon.

its getting to the time where lots of retailers are hiring Xmas temp staff which might be a good route for him to get back into work but a bit less pressure that it’s not expected to be long term. Lots of places do keep temps on if they can and it’s going well but if not might give him a confidence boost to get something else after

He probably has been told by them but doesn’t want to share details with you

Unreasonable and pointless - they can’t discuss your son’s dismissal with you.

You literally were. But atleast you see you are BU

Ignore snippy answers. You already know you can't contact them, but this is your son, he's suffered anxiety and depression, was happy in his job and you're quite rightly worried about how this will now affect him. It doesn't matter how old he is. I think all you can do is encourage him to ask for feedback if he wants to. Best of luck to him