Am I being fair on how we split the bills?

[Confusedcookie]

I've asked my husband if he's happy with this arrangement and he says he is but then I've read on here about how couples should have one pot of money and everything taken from that rather than calculating what each person pays. Particularly when the woman is a lower earner (usually if it's due to looking after children) although in our case it's the other way round in that I earn more.
For context
I pay council tax, TV licence and home insurance. I own the house outright and paid the mortgage off before my husband (at the time boyfriend) moved in.
He pays gas, electric, water and internet.
Then we independently pay our own car costs and personal shopping.
We go through our other bills each month and split them 50/50, so that's our food shopping and animal care costs etc.
I earn over double what he does but will be going on maternity leave in a few months so it will drop but it will still be a little bit more than he earns per month.
I think I feel maybe I'm being unfair as I earn more so should pay more each month, but then at the same time I worked very hard to pay my mortgage off early and if I hadn't done that we would both be paying out more each month.

So am I being unreasonable to split our finances the way we do?

IMO the ‘fairest’ thing for a married couple to do is ensure that each person has the same amount of disposable income after all the outgoings have been paid. The easiest way to do that is to be paid into the same account and each take X amount out of the pot. Everything else is paid for by the pot.

Interesting

a higher earning man making is lower earning partner pay half is usually called abusive.

Can you explain why it's abuse if both have money left over at the end of the month plus savings to dip into for whatever they want?

Do you both have equal spending money each month?

No we don't if you're talking about money left over after all the basics are paid for, but then neither of us spend everything we've got left, and we both try and put money back into joint savings each month. We're both naturally quite frugal day to day I'd say, then just make big purchases very occasionally.
He'd be more than able to take a couple of grand out of our shared savings though in a matter of minutes if he wanted to, in fact he did spend about £3k on something for his hobby fairly recently but he said he wanted to pay the money back into the savings over a few months even though I was like it's up to you I really don't mind! And I'd do the same thing if I was the lower earner, if I wanted to make an expensive purchase for myself only then I'd want to pay for it myself.

Can you imagine MN saying that a wife was "living rent free" in her higher-earning husband's house, so should pay a higher share of the bills? Ridiculous.

You should both have equal spending money and personal savings each month. Everything else joint.

Why? He's not living "rent free," he's residing in the marital home.

If they split after a few years, half the house is his. Plus a chunk of OP's mortgage

That's what marriage is.

When it’s a man, it’s financial abuse to make his partner pay more and therefore he ends up with a higher amount of disposable income each month and/or savings while she does not.

donyou have more disposable income? Can you save? Does he have the same?

I think it’s different when there’s a big rent/mortgage outgoing but in your case when the outgoings are more minimal I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how you split bills

I think the point of a joint account for most married couples is to make sure things are fair in the sense that you both have the same amount of personal spends each month. Whether you save it or spend it that’s up to the person whose share it is to decide.

I hope you have protected your sole interest in your house, OP. Make sure you have it in writing .

Gas, electric and water are more expensive than TV licence and home insurance so you are being unfair. Why not just go 50/50 on everything? You still gain as you earn more.