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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To request that my son is moved to a different class?

2 replies

Kindle123 · 06/10/2025 14:00

My son is 10 years old, he has autism and attends an SEN school (which is relevant because moving to a different and more suitable class, throughout the year if things are not working out, is quite a common practice in these schools).

He has been in the same class and year group now for the last 3 years, without progressing. When we have had our yearly meetings about this with the teacher, they have made it seem like it was necessary due to his actual learning ability (again, this is quite common in SEN schools).

This year, being in the same class as last year, and the other students in the class being moved around - he has found himself in a group of children where he is the oldest by 3 years. I think some of the children, who are nearer to his age, are mentally and developmentally quite young compared to him too.

He keeps getting quite upset by this, he says that he hates school because it is too baby-ish for him and he is getting quite anxious about getting older, because he recognises how old he is compared to the other children.

In a phone call last week with his teacher, she made reference to the fact that he is not ready to move up to a different class yet… because of the toys he chooses to play with and what he likes to watch on TV?!

He does prefer watching the younger shows and he does enjoy role playing with soft toys what he has seen on these shows, but he also enjoys watching ‘older shows’ such as Horrid Henry. He is really clever, has a brilliant reading ability for his age and understands a lot of complex things that other children his age maybe would not. For example, he really enjoys watching medical shows and could probably diagnose you if you gave him some symptoms!

It sounds like he is purely being kept back, because he prefers to play with soft toys rather than play violent video games like kids his age go around doing now-a-days and I feel like it is really unfair that he is not being given a chance to progress over something as trivial as this. It is also quite sad to see how being in a class with much younger children is affecting him.

AIBU to ask for a meeting with the teacher and see if there is any scope to move him to a more suitable, age appropriate and higher ability class?

OP posts:
tequilam0ckingbird · 06/10/2025 14:07

I don't know much about the setting you described but if this were my child I definitely would be having a meeting with the teacher to ask questions and voice my concerns. I think your concerns are valid.

ComfortFoodCafe · 06/10/2025 14:21

As a SEN parent myself, I would be livid. They are holding him back from reaching his potential.
Need to be assessing him academically not what tv shows & toys he likes!

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