That ribbons & balloons along public streets for a funeral is litter rather than a tribute?

[StreetLitter]

I frequently see balloons and plastic ribbons tied on lampposts for funerals near me. It doesn’t appear to be removed after the funeral, so just becomes litter. MORE litter, our city is filthy anyway (Birmingham).

Someone mentioned this on a community group and got torn to shreds. I agreed with them but would not want to have done so on the group given the vitriol dished out.

So AIBU?

YANBU- It is litter and should not be allowed
YABU - It brings comfort to grieving families

People react badly to funeral traditions and memorials being criticised.
Sane with balloon releases.

Both are the case - if people want balloons and stuff on lampposts, have at it. Not my thing, but whatever helps people grieve.

But also they should be cleared away within a few days, ideally by a friend of the family willing to prevent them being upset by the task.

It’s not as bad as balloon releases but still unnecessary litter in the end. If it’s cleared away fair enough. The one near me had obviously been up a while. It looked a mess.

We had a shrine near my house for about six months getting increasingly littery looking. There were even bottles of drink there and battery candles along with the ribbons and dead flowers. It has just gone as contractors are rebuilding the wall the unfortunate lad drove into at speed. I do think they should be removed or at least limited to some flowers.

I have never seen people do this for funerals and there is a crematorium and cemetery not far from where I live. Is this a recent thing? Is it common in some parts of the country?

@TheNightingalesStarling You are right about people reacting badly. I remember a bit of a furore a few years ago when the council cleared away some of the tatt tributes that had been left on some graves by families.

I've never seen it either but I agree it should be both allowed and removed. The vote didn't allow for that so I voted you are not unreasonable because I'm sick of all the extra crap everywhere.

I think people don’t want to take down tributes. Someone lovingly hung little ornaments and a plaque on a tree by the river which is quite sweet. Unfortunately it’s all made of mdf which has expanded in the rain and bits are dropping off so there’s a flower still on the tree but the little pot has fallen off. I’m not very sure whether to tidy it all into the bin, or just the bits that fall off as otherwise they will be in the river come winter storms.

I think if you do things like that you have a responsibility to come back and check / remove if necessary.

Yes i hate this. I don't mind a bunch of flowers tied on a lamppost with some wool but when they're still in plastic and sellotaped and then other crap it looks very naff. And I agree is just a pile of rubbish. Equally hate balloon releases- let's remember our loved one by killing a bunch of wildlife and livestock in their name.

It cant be that often surely

Toys , too. I don’t like it.

I don’t mind a crash site tribute if it is kept neat/maintained - the ones where everything has been left to look like a fly tip seem to highlight that the deceased person has now just been forgotten about - which makes it worse!

At least these are the actual grieving family and close friends of the deceased person.

I agree with PP: I say let them do it, but make sure that they are removed soon afterwards, once tribute has been duly paid and photos taken if desired.

Much worse is when a popular celebrity dies and thousands of people bring bunches of flowers to throw on top of the existing huge flower mound - usually still in the plastic wrapping too, so you couldn't properly see the actual flowers anyway.

Worst of all was at Diana's funeral, where people were flinging flowers at the windscreen of the hearse - containing the body of a woman who had died in a car crash. The hearse driver was then blamed for 'being disrespectful' when he put the wipers on to clear the floral missile debris, so he could actually see properly to drive safely and avoid another car crash.

I don't think it should be permitted at all, it's not enough to ask that it's taken down within a reasonable time. People don't do it (which I understand, it's hard to face that life is moving forward) and also it can still become loose/fly away and become litter. Over time these things tend to become a bit "competitive" as people want to show how much they love the person so they gradually grow out of control.

I do get that it's very sensitive but I think a blanket ban would be fairest.

Crash site memorials are different as they are location specific and less common.

Yanbu. It never gets tidied up. It's mostly blown away so people like me litter pick it later.

Balloon releases are criminal but local councils don't have the resources or guts to crack down on them. I do always give a "like" to people brave enough to complain about them on local news stories facebook feeds.

I see it as litter if the tributes aren't removed.

Maybe I see it wrong, but this all started after Diana died and the public embraced public grieving. I see a few pop up in my village occasionally, but after a week or so they get tidied away by the parish council.

Give the equivalent to an appropriate charity.

I wonder why all the mourners and grieving family & friends aren’t upset by the thought (and possibly the sight) of all that mournful tat flapping around like litter in the wind and rain?

I’d want it down and gone asap. Although to be honest, it wouldn’t cross my mind to do this kind of ‘decoration’ in the first place.

I've never seen it for a funeral but I've seen it lots of times to mark anniversaries at accident spots.

I do agree though, it just becomes filthy rubbish after a while and always someone else's job to remove it.

People near me do this now, it ends up tatty and littered everywhere but you can't criticise as people take it badly.

A young lad died in a car accident in the town I grew up in. The spot became a "tribute" site even after his funeral and when the Council attempted to clear it things got quite heated. There is now a floral planter there I think and possibly a mosaic or a mural. Which was a better long term way to remember him and also looks nicer than deflated balloons, rotted flowers and bottles of beer and cigarettes as well a bike helmets.

An entitled imposition on public space, among other things.

I just hope they take them down afterwards. But I won’t hold my breath.

Yes - the idiots who leave the wrapping on flowers so that composting isn’t possible.

So many thoughtless people.

I generally find this a bit of an odd conversation. I think if you look at it from a place of expectations- do you expect there to be no litter/ unpleasant view as a standard?
Is that expectation more of less important than human emotions? If a family believes that their grieving involves ribbons, does that impact your expectation for no litter at all?

are there tiers of respectability? Would you say the same for ribbons put up for say, elsie dot stancombe, a 6 year old murdered in broad daylight? Is that better worse or the same than an 80 year who died from lung cancer?

it just opens up loads of questions about grief and the extent to which we are willing to allow it to intrude on our lives, and community and understanding. It’s quite interesting really.

A friend of mine found a man had hanged himself on a tree in her garden. A tragedy - yes - and my friend found him. Awful for all concerned.

But the bereaved family then wanted to set up a shrine under the tree and be allowed to visit whenever they wanted. My friend said no, and I think that’s fair enough. His shrine should be at his grave.

Not quite the same thing, but I'm reminded of Willy Collins - the self-proclaimed King of Sheffield - and the gigantic 37-tonne marble memorial that his family constructed in the council-run cemetery.

It looked like a (not too) miniature ancient Graeco-Roman temple with all manner of embellishments, including a constantly-playing jukebox with all of his favourite songs on it.

I know the local council have had a long-running battle with his family over it, but I don't think it's ever been resolved yet.