to ask about you DC's less than successful start of Uni stories

[Kimmerer]

Gutted for my DD. Started at a Uni 5 hours drive from us so not easy to visit. She's not having a great time. She's shy, socially anxious and an introvert and according to her she's worse than she thought at being social. Two weeks on and everyone in her flat goes out as a group, she did it a couple of times but found herself like a fish out of water, nothing to say, so she stopped, and now it's awkward when they're in the communal spaces. She recognises she's made it awkward herself but this just fuels into her feeling of being useless and she's now eating her meals in her room. She's joined a couple of societies and I just hope something will happen eventually, but right now she feels very helpless (and so do I).

Two weeks is very early days.

I think the problem is that a lot of freshers are so desperate to make friends that they'll bond quickly (but superficially) with anyone that they talk to in the first week or two. This is not likely to result in long lasting friendships but can make those on the outside, who aren't as chatty, feel alienated.

Once she gets chatting one-to-one with her flat mates rather than when they're out as a group, she probably find them less intimidating.

Joining societies is a great way to meet like-minded people. Hopefully she'll find her tribe soon. Most of them do.

Your poor girl :(

Mine did similar to you in first year, the only difference being she is naturally very introverted and didn't really mind having a quiet life. She is also 5 hours from home. They have semesters so she didnt come home till Christmas, although we visited a few times. She was never independent at home and she said she was probably traumatised for the first term, she had never even cooked her own tea or washed clothes before. I had tried but she didnt want to learn...

She's just started third year and what really made the difference was joining a particular society, she joined one last year that didnt have much going on but in second year she joined one with one social event a week and absolutely loves it. She is someone who is slow to change and hopefully your DD will get there during this term rather than taking a year like mine did!

Best of luck to her, they grow up very quickly when away from home, she might be all sorted in another week. She's clearly brave and independent spirited to move so far away in the first place.

I think finding like minded individuals on her course might work better for her than her flatmates. .