Birthday will be crap

[Trigaham]

It’s my birthday tomorrow. Single(through choice) mum of 3. My oldest has got me a little gift and I’ll see him tomorrow at some point. Me and the youngest will be having tea at my mums tomorrow. But that’s it. I’d love to take myself off to a spa for the day, or to get my hair done, but money is really tight at the moment. It always is. I know my other DC won’t know/remember to even say happy birthday in the morning.
I realise this is a first world problem, but I just feel a bit down about it this year. I’m annoyed at myself for feeling this way

Happy birthday tomorrow. Could you plan something nice and inexpensive for yourself anyway? Like take yourself off to the library or buy your favourite treat food?

I know you shouldn't have to, but if you've been feeling like this in the lead up why not mention it to your DC so they can at least say happy birthday in the morning?

It seems you're just setting yourself up for disappointment, maybe try to be a bit more proactive?

Can I ask why middle child will forget?

A gift from your eldest and tea at your mums doesnt sound "crap" to me. Maybe not what you'd like to be doing but at least it's not being totally ignored.

You need to change your perspective of it as hard as that might be if you've got an idea of how a perfect birthday would be for you.

Happy birthday for tomorrow

Seems a bit unfair on the oldest that you think it'll be crap ...

How old are the kids?

Don’t be sad! Birthdays go in phases and you are just in a slightly crappy one. Will your mum be making you something nice for tea? Is there something free/cheap you can do like a lovely walk or free museum, followed by coffee and cake in a cafe - or treat yourself to a nice meal deal for lunch if you are at work?

Organise your kids to make you cards op! Give them a bit of paper folded over and they can draw a picture and write whatever they're able to inside. Then tell them to bring them in to you in the morning singing happy birthday. That's what I'd do anyway.

if you want to treat yourself for your birthday why not ask for a contribution towards some spa vouchers for Christmas and put aside a small amount of money each money until spring time and then celebrate your birthday then if that is what you would like to do? You don’t HAVE to celebrate it on the actual day. My mothers is start of January and it is utterly miserable I have never known why she just doesn’t pick a random date in July or August to celebrate it

How old are the children?
Are they adults (hence why you will see the eldest at some point and the middle child will forget as they aren't living with you)?

I think this is the usual thing on MN where you need to be more vocal. Perhaps start saying earlier in the year how you would love a spa afternoon. Lots of hotels near me do midweek offers so they wouldn't be that expensive if each child chipped in a fiver and then your parents contributed.

I agree you need to change your outlook on this. Eldest has got you a little gift - a surprise you don't know about. You are being treated to tea at your mum's in the evening - a night off cooking!

Other than the spa day, I am not entirely sure what you are hoping for.
A lot of the time for most people's birthdays are a normal day - if it's a work day then I go to work as normal. I take cakes in for my department. Then we might have takeaway or go out for a meal at the weekend. Never anything fancy but any chance for a night off cooking and the washing up I am grateful for!

It’s just a Birthday, no idea why you are making a big thing, you aren’t a child.

What a miserable moo you sound!

Its my birthday tomorrow too, but my 1st one since my Mum died in April. I'd normally have a card she would've given me at least a week ago sitting ready to open, shes the only 1 who always got me a card...
I miss her 😢 💔

happy birthday op!

my birthday Wednesday and my husband has had to fly home for a funeral so it’s just me 4 year old and baby - no family in the country so il be at work and then nursery and school pick up and bed time battle 😂

feeling a bit like you op - I’m tempted to take the day off and do something alone but also not a lot of money!

maybe il do school and nursery drop off and just go to the cinema and eat nice food and then pick them up - better than nothing Il

It's her birthday not Christmas. Someone saying its "just" a birthday has clearly had so many birthdays of not being made feel special that they think it's the norm

Don't be sad. It's your birthday. It seems like just another day to a lot of people, but it's a massive achievement. As the saying goes; never begrudge getting older, it's a privilege denied to many.

Focus on the little things, be that a lovely cup of hot chocolate, or a new fragrance (if you're into perfume), a laugh or a smile. You'll be amazed how such a simple thing can really brighten things up.

I'm sorry, I hope you manage to have a nice day. 💐

My Mum used to really make my birthday special, flowers, cards and gifts (from her and my cats!) and took me out for lunch. Now I spend my birthdays alone - which doesn't bother me - but I miss both my parents and their birthday visits.