To feel terrible - missed close pal’s bday

[User617283849]

I’ve got a close friend who lives at the other end of the country. We don’t usually do cards or gifts for birthdays but we always exchange messages. We’ve celebrated together before, but distance makes that tricky now.
This year I dashed off what I thought was a birthday message on social media, then carried on with my day. The next day I sent a follow-up saying “let’s see each other soon, sorry I’ve been behind on comms” (I’ve been dealing with a bereavement). A week later, still no reply. I checked the first platform and realised my birthday message wasn’t there at all — I must have closed before sending it. I feel awful.
I’ve now sent a card in the post and a very apologetic message explaining what happened, but I still feel terrible. Has anyone else done this? How did it go over?

I mean, unless you’re both about 12, it’s fine. It’s lovely that you remembered and very kind of you to apologise. Not a big deal.

I mean if she'll hold it against you because you didn't send a message whilst you're suffering a bereavement... you maybe aren't so close after all

I can't imagine anyone, friend or not, caring about this.
And if they were a friend and held it against me, they would soon be an ex-friend.

I have a good friend who has forgotten my birthday a couple of times in recent years. I don't mind at all, I know she's busy and I am not the centre of her world.

I can't imagine a friend getting the hump over something like this! If she does, she's not a very good friend. Life is busy and we all drop the ball sometimes!

I messaged a few days ago but heard nothing, a little concerned

Stop apologising to them!!! You had other more important things on your mind / bereavement! - birthdays once you’re past the age of 21 really aren’t important compared to other things

A long distance frriendship with someone you hardly see and with whom you don't exchange cards or presents?

I wouldn't give this a second thought.

If they're upset about this, they're a knob.

Yanbu, it isn't a big deal.

My close friend usually makes a big fuss of birthdays. One year, she obviously forgot. Don't think she ever realised tbh, as she definitely would have said something. It didn't bother me in the slightest because I knew it wasn't intended as a snub.

Life happens, mistakes happen, people forget things. Between friends, these things aren't a problem.