Taking kids to Australia to visit a sick relative

[Bear1789]

My uncle lives in a small town in Western Australia a couple of hours drive from Perth. He has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I really want to visit him soon, while he still has time left. I haven't seen him since 2019, when I took the kids over for three weeks visiting various relatives. They were 2 and 6 at the time, theyre now 9 and 13. Would you take them with you when visiting a sick relative? I'm not sure how enjoyable an experience it would be.

My mum would probably come with us, it's her brother that's ill (she emigrated from Australia before I was born). We'd not spend all our time with the sick uncle, we have lots of other family i'd like to see as well. The kids dad and I are divorced so I'm not even sure he'd be happy with us going, would want it to be for at least a fortnight given the distance and we share custody 50:50. Also it wouldn't be until January as I have no annual leave left until then.

It's such a tough situation and I just don't know what to do for the best.

AIBU - Yes, don't take the kids with you. No, it would be good for them to see family (my daughter has no memories of him and my son's are only vague)

I dont think I'd take a 13 year old out of school for 2 weeks for a holiday.

It doesn't sound as though the kids have a close relationship with your uncle but I'm sure if that was just a couple of hours and the rest if the time was travelling, going to the beach etc im sure they'd have a great time.

We have family who live abroad. Under these circumstances I probably would leave the kids with their dad (provided he is able to have them for a two week block). It will give you time to focus on spending quality time with family and supporting your mum etc.

I wouldn’t take the kids out of school for this

I wouldn't take them in termtime. I also think it will be difficult for you and your Mum so might be best for the two of you to go - also potentially less pressure on your uncle (depending on his condition). If they had a close relationship I'd take them in a heartbeat, but it doesn't sound like they do have (understandably so).

Leave the kids and go with your mum

I wouldn't take them. Dying of cancer can be emotionally difficult to witness and they're pretty young for that. It's not likely to be a positive memory for them. Plus he might not be well enough to enjoy their visit at all.

If exh has the children for the few days up to and until Christmas evening, could you fly out that night? Then, if you are away for two weeks, they will only miss a few days.

I would take them. If your uncle doesn’t want to see them much, they are old enough to be parked with wider family for a few days.

I think I probably wouldn’t (and I wouldn’t go in January either if possible, it’ll be boiling). 2 hours from Perth sounds like the arse end of nowhere.

Go with your mum, Dad can have the kids for a fortnight.