Am I imagining

[Confusional]

hey
I’ve name changed for this post .
i don’t really know how to describe what’s going on and I don’t know if I’m being lazy or not. I have a long term condition but I do as much as I can or as much as my husband will relinquish
He has a naturally passive aggressive nature to him. I used to be able to speak to him about it but now he accuses me of trying to be a psychologist.
we’ve had a lot of ups and downs and a period of not being together due to his behaviour so I don’t know if this is me jumping to conclusions too quickly as I’m scared it will all fall apart again when he’s put so much work into changing.
he does this thing where he will insist on doing something. For instance the cooking. He’s happy to do it but if anything goes wrong or adds to his load - kids are off sick or work needs an extra thing. I say I can do it and I’m feeling up to it and I get “no it’s fine. I’ll have to do it” in an angry way.
or even if I say I’m cooking tonight without anything coming up he will insist on doing all the steps to make it easier. It’s 50/50 if he will be happy that he’s done it or make me feel like I’ve let him down.
i can’t really explain it properly. It I try and talk about it he will say “but it helped you didn’t it” but not acknowledging how he might have said something. Or he will take the tone out of what he said and then say - “well that was true wasn’t it”
sounds ridiculous now I’m writing it

Could it be that he’s just knackered and a bit grumpy?

how much do you do? Do you manage to have a job?

Although given you’ve split in the past… it sounds like the marriage might just be circling the drain due to a number of issues

Yes I work and I do probably 40% share of the house work when he lets me. I can’t explain it properly. If I say I’m doing something he kind of flips it and says things like “if you feel you have to” or if I am go to get the kids from school and he’s home he will say “if you need to go and gossip with your friends but I can do it”

we split before due to abusive behaviour. Nothing ever physical. I guess I’m scared this is a sign that he’s going back to old behaviours

All sounds like a very shit environment for the children involved, and this has gone on for years, ups & downs, separation, history of abuse.

You mention a long term chronic illness, would it prevent you from having the children alone 50% of the time?

This sounds loveless