Ah, the self-professed kitten-kissers? I mean, there are a lot of nice men in the world, I went out with dozens, personally, married one and have great male mates. But come to think of it, no, I’ve not really met a genuinely deep-dyed nice guy who felt the need to wear it like a badge of honour. It’s a bit like claiming you’re funny. Show don’t tell.
Also, let’s have an honorable mention for the male feminists (who never, ever are). I do think some guys certainly appear to think if they put enough ‘common human decency’ tokens in the vending machine some sex ought to fall out. And they get aggrieved, just the same as the pricks, if it doesn’t. Possibly worse and while I also hate to agree with a sweeping generalisation for individual behaviour, yeah, I reckon it’s probably because maybe they feel they lack in other areas so being demonstrably nicer than the next dude seems the killer move. Then they get pissed off when that fails too. You could argue it’s societal and they’re victims of masculinity and all its attendant toxicity as well. I’ve heard ‘you can’t win.’ I can see how it might feel that way. Suppose it depends what winning looks like to them. If it’s obtaining free sex, then they’ve got a problem, as this thread somewhat shows.
Mutual respect and seeing wimmen as fully realised human beings with the right to not be interested no matter what was always a good place to start (and finish). Find a woman-respecter (clue: if it’s in their bio, then no). Best men I know don’t see women or sex as a challenge or a prize. Have female friends they don’t want to sleep with, are polite and decent to all. Even if they’re not a sexual prospect. Good clues. As an aside, I think some boys need help with not seeing women as alien beings, generally, and anecdotally it’s getting worse again. I am a bit worried for boys (and girls).