To ask for £20 a week?

[Positivelymum]

I don’t want to drip feed but I don’t want this to be outing.

I’m currently looking after another child 4-5 nights a week, they are not blood related. I’m already a solo parent to one and recieve no maintenance for them. Financially things are starting to creep up as it’s been a few weeks now.

AIBU to ask for a £20 a week contribution to them staying with me? I don’t want to come across as grabby! This child wants to continue staying with me but I don’t want to get to a point I have to say I can’t afford it or that I’m feeling taken advantage of.

If you think IABU please tell me what’s realistic?

Thank you

Go down the offical foster care route, you are basically fostering them anyway. Speak to social services on Monday.

If the child is staying overnight it is a private fostering arrangement and you have an obligation to present yourself to your local authority. Just for oversight, but they can also support in approaching the parent/s about covering costs and might give you access to other services as pp have mentioned.

How old is the child? Children generally can’t put themselves into foster care - that’s subject to social work assessment of need. An informal or private fostering arrangement is slightly different but there should still be some form of assessment of you as a carer which would include financial support - child benefit should be transferred to you if you’re effectively the primary carer.

I think you need to speak to the child’s social worker first of all to get a sense of what they’re thinking. There are a number of different approaches to care for children who can’t live at home, they all come with different rights and responsibilities, and different entitlements to support for the child involved. I’d seek to formalise the arrangements you have if you’re happy to continue, and certainly request an allowance for caring for the child. If the child was in formal foster care you’d be entitled to financial support and, depending on where you are in the uk, you’d also be entitled as an informal/kinship carer.

Worth bearing in mind OP that some social workers will keep very quiet about your entitlements as a carer for this child because the alternative (a local authority supported foster placement) is more expensive and more time consuming. They should be upfront about the situation but sadly it’s not uncommon for social care to allow situations to continue for years without intervening to ensure everyone is getting the support (financial, practical and emotional) that they are obliged to provide under the law.

Contact social services. Explain the situation. Offer to foster and ask the process behind this.

£100 seems more like it

Please contact the safeguarding lead at the child's school first thing tomorrow morning (their email should be on the school website) and tell them you are involved in a private fostering arrangement and would welcome their advice.

Already informed them numerous times and they informed SW

I think the relevant questions here are:

1. What age is the child?
2. Who made/is making the decision for them to spend 4-5 nights a week with you?
3. What do you want to happen next? I.e. do you just want some money while the child is with you or do you want to formalise the arrangement.

The school aren’t the people to deal with this, you need to speak directly to social work. Don’t wait for them to come to you, you don’t know what the child’s parents have told them about care arrangements for their child and may think everything is fine. How did you end up caring for the child, what agreements are in place with the child’s parents, and what is the long term plan? You need to be quite proactive here, not just because of funding but an insecure living arrangement isn’t in the best interest of the child, and it is insecure at the moment because there is no framework around it. You’ve been very kind, and being there for the child will be life changing for them, but it needs a more formal setting if it’s going to continue.

£20 a week is nowhere near enough.

Well that's good.

I know at my school we would try hard to help you!

If there is a SW involved then they should be setting a reasonable amount with the mother to pay for expenses at the very least - or the LA should be making a contribution. You should not be left to bear this cost yourself as a single mother.

Thank you everyone. Speaking to SW this week about private fostering arrangement and due to section 17 they should be able to make a financial contribution. If anyone has any experience of this please share!

I’m a social worker so used to this kind of thing. The main thing I’d say is don’t sell yourself short. If they needed to place the child in care they’d be paying a lot, and while you won’t get the same fostering allowance, I think £20 is a pitiful amount. Have a look at the local authority the child lives in (if different from your own), they should publish the amounts they pay foster carers and should also publish kinship care payments. What they pay you should sit somewhere in between those amounts. Remember it’s not just feeding the child, there will be toiletries, possibly clothes to buy, utilities, birthdays and outings that all add up. You’ll also need to facilitate family time with the child’s family.

Explore the terms of the private fostering arrangements eg what can you make decisions about (hair cuts, doctors appointments, sleep overs etc) and what needs parental consent. Given there’s a child in need plan (Section 17) you need to know what the plan is in the short to medium term, because there will be parts that involve the child. What support can you expect as a foster carers, there’s usually a dedicated team and you might be able to access some training or peer support. I hope the meeting goes well.

If you Google kinship foster care and the name of your council that'll give you more info on what you're entitled to

Explain to social workers you need some financial support, sounds like they are trying to fob you off without paying

You should be getting child benefit for this child which is more than 20 a week

Surely if there is Section 17 funding to facilitate a child remaining with you, the child is, de facto, looked after and there is a need for you to become a registered foster carer?

Section 17 funding is not to be used to fund a child living outside of their home. If a LA is funding a child living outside of the home, the child can be considered to be accommodated by the LA and therefore looked after. It would be inappropriate for the LA to fund a placement without formalising it - it's an inappropriate use of public funds.

If the SW's assessment is that the child shouldn't return home then they either need to accommodate under Section 20 or seek a Court Order. Age and long term plan will be a factor in the next steps.

As they haven't done that, I suspect this is more the case that a teenager has decided that they don't really want to return home and that the LA is working to ensure that they do return home.

OP, you need to understand from the SW, child, and parents what the medium to long term plan is to know what your next steps are. The LA shouldn't fund you unless the child becomes looked after. The parents would be responsible for paying you if their child is living with you. Then it could be considered a private fostering arrangement.

Even if it is a private fostering arrangement, the LA wouldn't fund that - they would only assess that it was appropriate. Since they haven't contacted you, it seems that it isn't being out forward as a private fostering arrangement.

Why are you having a non related child so much?

Update- spoke to the social worker who said that through a private fostering arrangement there would be no financial support even when they’re on a section 17 🤷🏼‍♀️

No financial support from the LA but there needs to be an arrangement with the parents - here’s what the guidance says. The LA needs to step in and support any conversation about money if you’re not comfortable to do so. I’d recommend reading the private fostering guidance which explains exactly what they should be doing to support the young person and keep them safe.

Thank you. There are no parents. Guardian is 18 year old brother

How old is the child you’re caring for? Does anybody hold parental responsibility for them?

I’d probably suggest calling someone like Family Rights Group for advice on this complex situation as this young person is potentially extremely vulnerable.