To think school could be doing more?

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Some background - I've been with DP for 8 years, he has an almost 15 year old DS and he only found out about him about 5/6 years ago.

He wasn't officially in a relationship with his mum and by the time DSS was born he wasn't in contact with her as they'd gone to separate colleges. DSS was born here but when he was quite young he moved to Poland with his mum and her family as that's his mums home country.

Fast forward to December 2019 and his mum found DP on social media (his name is uncommon) and she told him he had a son and he’d been asking about his dad, he had just turned 9. It was a long process as they lived in Poland still so DNA testing wasn't easy along with the covid pandemic starting not long after, his mum also blocked it for a while and said she’d tell her son his dad wanted nothing to do with him etc and often went quite when she didn't get her own way. DP didn't want to build a relationship without the DNA test as if it turned out he wasn't his dad it’d hurt both of them if they’d built a bond.

Eventually we found out he was his dad but there were still restrictions to travel so a lot of their first interactions were over face time, DP would mostly play Minecraft with him as stepson didn't speak much English.

They eventually met in the summer of 2022, he and his mum came over for 2 weeks and DP spent alot of time with him but the whole time his mum seemed quite off, as if she was looking for DP to mess up somehow. They continued to talk often over facetime and he’d come and visit during holidays, we never visited him in Poland because DP has a fear of flying and stepson enjoyed a different country.

He came and celebrated Christmas with us last year and we also introduced polish traditions to make him feel settled, he loved it and we got closer, it was lovely to spend Christmas with him, DP and DS. Except in the nights leading up to going back he cried and said he wanted to stay. He finally told DP on the last night that he liked boys and his mum hadn’t been very nice about it. Apparently she told him that he was going to marry a woman whether he liked it or not. DP asked her if that was true and she said yes but it wasn't any of DP’s business.

He came back to visit earlier this year and he said he hated his school, liking boys, living with his mum and her partner, he wanted to stay here and we found out he’d been self harming. Getting him to the airport was a battle but we agreed we’d look into him staying here. DP talked to his mum and she agreed (she actually said she’d had enough of him and DP could “have him” which seemed cold). Because he doesn't have PR and isn't on the BC him staying is just temporary right now similar to a kinship agreement but he moved this summer and we got him into a local school.

Now onto the issue: its year 10 everyone in his year had chosen options so he has been given ones he wouldn't have picked, he's also struggling to get used to the school system, he's very behind especially in English which is understandable as it's his 2nd language but his main struggle is with Shakespeare and his teacher wanting the class including SS to read a page out loud in front of the class, we've tried talking to the school and told them he isn't confident reading in his second language especially Shakespeare. His head of year was understanding but his teacher is still wanting him to do it. Yesterday he point blank refused and he got a negative behaviour point for refusing to engage and she said everyone has to read, she doesn't care where he's from he's part of the school so he has to follow the rules. This was just his account, we didn't get chance to speak to the school.

He's been at the school for a month now and he hasn't made any friends, he loves art but they had no room for him on the GCSE course so he didn't get the only option he really wanted and he's really not enjoying school because as I said he's not yet used to the English school system. He got upset again yesterday and said he doesn't feel he fits in anywhere. I'm just wondering if the school should be doing more? Like checking how he's settling/ if he's made friends etc or would that be more if he were at primary school? I have a nearly 2yo so I don't know. We're also experiencing some challenging behaviour at home bur this post is long enough

Hi op

In dc high school they will often place children who have come from abroad in the year below their actual age to allow them time to acclimatise and give them the best possible chance.

Id def be asking the school if this is an option as it would also open up the gcse choices for next year.

One dc friends goes to 'polish' school on sat - perhaps theres something like this in your area

Also might be worth researching lgb youth groups in the area

Yes I think the school should be doing more. My DCs went to separate high school, both have fantastic pastoral support. Maybe talk to the head of year again about what can be offered.

I was thinking the exact same as pp, your SS needs to be placed in the year below not thrown into GCSE options. See if you can find a local school thst will allow this, he needs that year buffer to improve his English and he will be able to pick his own GCSE options thst way.

I would contact the school and ask to make an appointment with the SLT in charge of curriculum.
I would make the case for him to be in year 9 - it's not too late for this to happen.
I wouldn't meet with a HOY (I am one). There is only so much we can do- you need to speak to leadership.
If not, I would request to be able to drop a subject and see if there is somewhere - learning support type unit or similar - where he could have an ESOL tutor. This might need to be paid for by you, but at my school we would.fund it.

He can only do GCSE where there are spaces. It is unrealistic not to expect him to struggle of his English is not good. It will improve
Is there any way his dad vould get in touch with the school to request a meeting? I say dad because SS will probably feel better knowing dad involved. Are they aware of the circumstances of him coming to England ? Are there any other Polish kids at his school? Is there an opportunity for him to do GCSE Polish perhaps? Lots of schools do community languages as an extra. The pupil does not receive any tuition, they do a bit of exam prep and sit the exam.

This seems very strange on the part of the school. Most schools I know are very used to migrants arriving, even mid year, and some with no English at all. The person in charge of EAL should be supporting his transition. We tend to withdraw such students and give them extra help in small groups to help with integration. I have 3 students in one class with very little English at all, they are getting various levels of support.
Please speak to the school about how he is being supported.

The year below is a good idea. This never happened at the school I worked at unfortunately. If they can't do this then id try a school that can, so that he has some choice re options in y10. Sat school or Polish clubs a good idea- it is important to maintain his Polish side too.

It’s probably less to do with the school and more to do with a boy who feels he doesn’t fit anywhere. He has a mother who seems to disapprove of him and presumably, her partner is similar. He has a father who he didn’t know about for half his life and a stepmother and half sibling.

He's in a country that’s unfamiliar, with a language that’s also unfamiliar, a new school, hasn’t established friendships, is learning in a foreign language and is unsure about where he fits, both with family and sexuality.

I do think it would be worth asking for a meeting with the school, to try to establish how he can be supported, particularly to get consistency amongst the staff. Could he maybe do a GCSE in Polish. When I was teaching, we had a lad who came with his family from Poland and learned English quite quickly. He also did a GCSE in Polish and he made friends quite quickly.

The boy needs to feel that he’s wanted and accepted and school is a big part of that.

We did ask if he could be in the year below when looking for a school with a place as a lot of the outstanding schools didn't have a place for him, but they said no as he isn't summer born. The school he's at isn't rated the highest but it was the only one with space.

He seemed happy during the first few days but as the weeks have gone by he's been struggling more and more, I think we will look into English lessons for him, he mostly learnt English from DP and he taught himself but maybe a tutor would be helpful.

We are looking for a club for him to try and make friends outside of school but he's not interested in any we've found so far and unfortunately there's no longer any youth clubs in our area. I don't think there's any bullying going on but he says that everyone is together with their own friends and he goes outside to eat and then spends the rest of lunch walking around.

The only thing the school really did was show him where his classes are, his first 3 days he was taken to his classes by a support teacher but apart from that he's sort of been left on his own and he just seems so miserable

It's generally not policy to have them out of year. I would make an appointment to speak to the head of EAL and/or Inclusion. Request specific support and ask how they are monitoring his progress.
It doesn't sound great.

It sounds crap
Head of MFL there should be entering him for his Polish GCSE as a lone candidate - I have seen many do that and they usually do well, with or without extra coaching.
Whilst cold calling is popular, I still never force students to read, especially Shakespeare. But if he is doing Macbeth, there are so many adaptations you can watch with him from Denzel on Netflix to David Tennant. With captions on.
Irrespective of numbers, am surprised they could not have squeezed him into art. Whilst the workload and sketchbook is onerous, for an EAL student it is more accessible, even with analysis and artist research to go.
Like others, I would make an appointment directly with SLT member responsible for curriculum/timetable, SENDCO for literacy interventions and Senior Lead for safeguarding: tell them he is self-harming because they are not putting in any support.

Yes, @StrictlySequinsandStiIettos , I wouldn't cold call him either, just give him a prompt to the text which he could answer in order to build his confidence.
He should be entered for Polish GCSE, it's very common.

The school doing 'more' doesn't necessarily mean doing what you prefer or makes him feel better in the short term.

Practising reading aloud is actually important even if kids don't have English as an additional language, and all the more so when they do.

Teachers aren't there to let some kids opt out because it's easier in the moment - that would actually be doing a disservice to the ones who need most support.

Make sure you tell the school he will do Polish GCSE and the he can drop one of his other electives that he isn't enjoying. Polish GCSE will be very easy for a native speaker. Get him a tutor for English.

Thank you some good advice, I was surprised they didn't allow him to do art too as I'm not sure one extra person would make much difference, I will ask about a Polish GCSE.

He is doing Macbeth, at the moment it's mostly me that is involved with his schooling etc as during the week DP works a few hours away and it doesn't make much sense to come back to then leave again (he'd have to leave really early to get there for 8am) so he stays and comes home on a Friday. It's not ideal and he's already asked if he can be more local when the project he's working on is done, just for the time being while stepson gets more settled. I'm sure that's unsettling him too.

Also speak to them again about trying to get him on the Art course, as some kids drop Art because of the workload, which would free up a space

Sorry not Netflix - The tragedy of Macbeth is on Apple TV.
David Tennant is on Marquee TV and back on West end ATM
A Xmas Carol - you have so many to choose from but Mark Gatiss's Ghost story: a Xmas carol on iPlayer is good. Jim Carrey is accessible.
Buy copies of the text yourself and guidance notes.
Some schools have LGBT alliance groups as cocurriculars. See if yours does. Or a local group for him to meet people.
Art depending on exam board - still has time to catch up. We are only 4 weeks in so he has a moodboard, mindmap, couple of tonal drawings to do. Natural forms or Confectionery. Lots of inspiration online.

Here's some info from English (from the Polish government) about taking Polish GCSE in the UK.

General information - Poland in the UK - Gov.pl website https://share.google/9VI3EdpbDGKUYt8ZN

About - Polish Educational Society https://share.google/atp8iuQOXoYoeoSGC

Looks like this organisation could help you find a Polish Saturday school.

Teachers and schools are required to make reasonable accommodation for disability and language needs. Cold calling an English learner and forcing him to read a page of Shakespeare in front of the class is grossly incompetent. That teacher needs to learn best from practices as they are now, not in 1983.

Cold calling is a teach like a champion questioning strategy where all pupils have to think of the answer.

Polish isn't a disability. Reading out loud is one thing that will help language learning. There are many others, but as I said, expecting more might mean things that are challenging or more demanding like 'more' homework, 'more' practice or 'more' accountability.

Can he even stay in the uk? What sort if visa is he here on?