Blood, sweat & tinsel..

[cornflakecrunchie]

I know it's only just October.. but I have a lot to buy. I've started already & am so stressed out. Trying to think what to get, spending hours online, send for stuff & the doorbell's going all the time, then the wrapping, OMG, the WRAPPING.. my back's hurting, there's paper, sellotape & scissors everywhere, nowhere to put anything, mostly stuffed in a huge cardboard box in the lounge.
Remembering to pop receipts in, as there's always SOMEONE who wants to return gifts, the expense of posting everything as it gets nearer the time.. it seems to get more taxing every year.
Anyone else? Please say it's not just me..

grandchildren, children, siblings, aunts & uncles, nephews / neices, friends, neighbours
That is a ridiculously long list. Can you not start cutting loads of that out? We only get for our DC, one niece and one nephew, PIL and SIL. My side of the family don't do presents for adults, DH and I don’t for each other. Never done Christmas presents with friends or neighbours.

It really doesn't have to be that much faff and stress. And I don't do all this hiding of stuff either. Things get wrapped asap after arriving and then under the tree because I don't start buying anything until December.

I’m sure your family wouldn’t want you to be stressed OP. It sounds like you’re putting yourself under a lot of pressure. Is Christmas enjoyable for you too? I’d just do what you can over the next few weeks and do something nice for yourself in December.

You are causing yourself the stress 🤷‍♀️ it doesn’t have to be that much of a big deal.

I think you're all right. I'm just sitting here thinking about it, & maybe I could get something, say, for a whole family rather than 5 or 6 separate gifts.. definitely the gift bag idea, too, rather than wrapping. I do kind of enjoy Christmas, @CapitanSandy once it's all prepped, thankfully I don't host, just immediate family! Thanks for everyone's thoughts & advice. Very helpful!

Do you actually get that many presents back?

As for the issue with vouchers, most shops are not going to go under!

How many people do you actually host op?

if I get to be retired and I’m getting myself in this state three months in advance of Christmas, I’ll be a bit depressed that I still haven’t learned better!

People spend far too much on shit at Christmas - 90% of presents could be stopped I reckon and the whole experience would be so much more enjoyable for everyone.

You are buying far too many people gifts! Just stop 🥰

I've been hosting xmas for 30 years 😳 (i left home and had kids v young with small gaps and then a late one who's now still only 10) and i'm good at it - but honestly - im a bit over it! As i'm getting older my xmases are getting bigger and bigger!

I was looking forward to handing over the baton to one of my adult DDs but they havent got the room. They all like to bring their DHs and BFs and now the GC here so that they all see each other for the day and xmas is still 'like it should be'.

All the husbands and BFs seem to come from family's who don't do much and are asleep in their chairs by half 1 so they too are all now v fond of their xmas's here with us and start talking about it in Aug!! Which is lovely and everything .... and i count my blessings.

but i do daydream about running off to somewhere hot one xmas just me and DH.

Id never do it.
Ill keep on hosting until someone else has the space to do it which will be never at this rate.

Its not like we do anything that extravagant even. The house does always looks lovely. Lots of space. Lots of food. Lots of presents (we do presents after xmas dinner and it takes ages) More food. Stupid board games in the eve. Lots of hanging about in PJs all day. And just as it started to get a bit more low key the GC have begun to arrive 🤪

What HedwigIsMySpiritAnimal said.

I guarantee that most of your children, siblings, aunts & uncles, nephews / neices, friends, neighbours can either take or leave or actively despise exchanging gifts with other adults. It is a totally pointless exercise for adults with their own disposable income.

And for anyone who doesn't have much spare money, it's even worse because you're likely misdirecting their money for them because instead of them buying something they want or need for themselves they feel obliged to spend money buying you a gift in return for the gift that you gave them, which is likely something they don't want anyway.

Buy presents for your grandchildren.

Give your children and siblings token booze, flowers or chocolates if you must.

The rest, just don't get them anything, it will probably be a relief. And then just chill. You don't have to do most of what you're doing. So don't. And certainly not in early October FFS. Christmas is months away.

Christmas Martyr season is in full swing I see.

You are not responsible for everyone else's Christmas joy.

You can go away and leave them to it.

The only person stopping you from doing this is you. Take your 10 YO to the Canaries for Christmas. Everyone else will survive. If you must, have a low key gathering the weekend before to exchange gifts.

Do you need to buy so many gifts?? Do all the se people reciprocate?

i don’t get stressed at christmas, we don’t have kids so thats one stress gone. My nephews and nieces are mostly adult now so i stopped buying there and buy my great nephew. My goddaughters and youngest niece want money at the age. I have a few gifts to choose for family, friends and my partner to wrap but i enjoy that.

I love Christmas but i feel like it takes over life for some people. Maybe try and simplify it? Vouchers instead of gifts for some? Speak to some people and see if they really want to keep exchanging gifts?

You are choosing this no one is forcing you

I'll let you on to a secret - you don't have to do any of this. None of it My life improved 100% when I decided to sack the whole Christmas thing off. I buy small presents for close family, we have a day at home where we eat food we like and go on a long walk. I take a few days off and catch up on household tasks, see friends and family and have some days out. That is it.

My partners family have fancy cloth squares and ribbons. Diff colour for each person then just wrap it up loosely and tie a bow. Reuse it each year so better for the planet too. I try n buy events and experiences instead of stuff if poss

You are buying for too many people. If they all reciprocate, it’s probably too early to make much in the way of changes this year, but make this the last year you are buying for more distant adults. You can cut down further with token gifts such as wine, chocolates or biscuits, secret santa for adults you feel you need to buy for.

Look at how you are ordering things, to reduce the constant stream of deliveries.

There should be no need to have wrapping paraphernalia everywhere and you need to revise your wrapping technique as it should not be giving you backache.

if you are like this now and you’re retired… I can’t imagine the drama and stress you brought upon yourself when you had dependent children and worked Op!!

On the basis of this thread, you’re not doing a very good job of keeping it “stress free”!

and you’re retired I see 😮

For some, retirement does not mean that they have all the time in the world to get on and do things. There may be obstacles which get in the way of having loads of free time and/or finding things easy to do, especially if health or income is an issue.

Crikey I don’t do any Christmas shopping until November. I’ve drastically cut down the number of presents I buy over the years, I will start wrapping beginning of December. Cut it all back Op!

I start my shopping on 10th Dec after DH's birthday. I wrap on Christmas eve, maybe the day before as well if I'm organised. If you're not enjoying this, then perhaps you should cut Christmas down a bit, make it more about family time and fun rather than millions of gifts.

But it does mean they’re not balancing dependent children at school and jobs 😆

Yes, but the time of some of them is spent doing other things (including providing care for grandchildren - some providing extensive care) and with age you become slower both physically and cognitively, then throw in health conditions. So it’s not as simple as you have loads of time due to being retired.

Yes but by the time one is retired, I would hope that if you have been one to get very stressed and over do Christmas - then you’d have the insight to maybe put the brakes on it!

and we can beat round the bush, but most retirees will have shed lot more time that most working parents with dependent children. Fact.

Thank you @Allthings
To everyone else, Christmas shopping & wrapping under control now! I usually have at least one day where I freak out about Christmas, plus, I might be retired (are women EVER?) but still have kids at home, had health probs etc!
I think when you're young, you imagine sitting in a comfy chair watching TV all day once you've finished work. Doesn't happen!

What have you done in early October to “get it under control”?