Regretting starting this job

[RegrettingJob]

Posting here for traffic.

I started a p/t job 6 months ago. I’ve been training up for 6 months and they’ve paid for the professional qualifications.

However, it’s just not working out for me. I’ve stuck my head down and got on with it, but a lot of the time I’ve had to take stress relief to do it. The company are chaotic, there’s no structure or management and IMO it’s unsafe and bordering on negligible. At the same time I get countless forms, e-learning and documents to read saying I will conform to X and Y, and if I don’t I’m personally responsible and could be in trouble.

For the short time I’m there, on low pay, I have to do a lot of prep work.

For the last 6 months as a result of this, on top of my other job, the house, friends, hobbies and spending time with my DC have gone out the window.

I’ve sucked it up because they’ve invested a lot in me, but it’s really stressing me out. I’ve spoken about this in another thread asking for help to sleep, that’s how much it’s affected me.

The thing is, I’ll have to pay back the training (1k) if I leave, that’s why I’m still there. Also, they’ve moved other people around to accommodate me and it will leave them in the lumber.

On the other hand it’s a zero hour contract, no benefits, no sick pay and it’s just too stressful. I was ok with it, I was managing, but now I’ve got a very poorly parent and I don’t see how I’m going to fit all this in. It’s taken its toll on me already.

AIBU You’ve wasted everyone’s time (what I’m thinking)

YANBU (?)

What's the cost you'd have to repay? Can you afford this (without going into debt)?

1k
Yes I can afford it but my DH will be pissed off with me wasting that money.

I wish I could go back in time and not apply for the job.

I’ve just realised I’m just too old for this shit. I’m 50’s, menopausal and got a lot of stress on my plate and what did I do? I went and made it more stressful for myself. All my friends have cut down on work and are out having a nice time with lunches, coffees and Pilates and I just scooped more stress on me. I’m an idiot.

A friend said to me “why can’t you just enjoy your time off?” and I should’ve listened.

You're not an idiot, you tried something in good faith and it hasn't been right for you. You'd be an idiot to stay though. £1k is nothing to remove yourself from this stress. And don't feel like you owe the company anything either, you're on a shit contract and they'll replace you within weeks.

It's not wasted money if you've gained a professional qualification, it just means you've paid for it personally rather than having it company-funded. You still have the qualification.

Find another job. If you're in the fortunate position where you can quit this one without another job to go to, then do it, and spend your time job hunting. Having gained a professional qualification will look good on your CV even if it's not needed for a particular role.

Perhaps look at something part time to fit round your caring responsibilities? I'm in my 50s, also with elderly and unwell parents, and if I could afford to work part time, I would cut my hours like a shot.

Leave the job and pay the money back. You say you can afford it. Tell your DH to get stuffed. He should have your best interests at heart and he clearly doesn't. Surely he can see how badly this job is affecting you? Ultimately that will impact on him and your DC too. Years ago I took on a job in what turned out to be a really nasty organisation and it was making me so ill. I was absolutely skint too and needed the money to actually buy food! Despite that, I chucked it in after 8 months.

Thank you sewing bees.

I’m a very conscientious, hardworking and reliable person. I’m old school worker. That’s why this is eating me up.

You are right though. Zero hours is so shit and they ask a lot. I shouldn’t give a hoot really but I’m too loyal to places.

You can’t put a price on happiness. You are not being unreasonable. I’d leave and pay the money back (if they ask for it) also as pp said you’ve got a qualification. Well done!

I already have another very steady p/t job which is no wear near as stressy as this extra one.

The only person you need to be loyal to right now is you.

It sounds horrendous I’d say to them you’re handing your notice in and to take the £1000 off the final salary no job is worth the stress

You dont owe them anything; remember that, dont stress about "leaving them in the lurch" - theres no benefits, its 0 hours, nothing. And stress? You'd think they be making it beneficial?

You need to prioritise yourself, your life, your health. They'd replace you in a heartbeat if you dropped down dead or got hit by a bus. Prioritise you and yours.

If they decided they didn't need you OP do you think they'd be tying themselves up in knots over it? Nope they'd tell you that they don't need you anymore so no need to come in tomorrow.
It all sounds shit and they don't care, get out of there while you're still sane. Pay for the qualification and hopefully it'll be of use at some point in the future even if it's not right now.