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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why is it that people assume that just because something is hard work

27 replies

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 21:22

that i should consider it really carefully before i take it on???

I was chatting to a woman i know at M&T today and asked her about her teacher training. I am seriously considering this and have spoken to this person about it before. So she said "oh are you thinking about doing your PGCSE now then (or whatever its called now)" and "yes" i say, "good" she says and answers the question i ask her about being thrown in at the deep end. So, her friend standing with her, who i don't know from Adam, pipes up and says "Ooooh, well its very hard work"

WTF???? Um, of course it is. So clearly, in the two seconds of meeting me, she has weighed me up and decided that i am clearly not up to hard work and she clearly is. This has happened more than once, what is it with people, that they consider that they are the only people in the world capable of doing their job?? You don't know me, so fuck off!!! I wrote up my PhD, whilst balancing my baby on my lap - i CAN do hard work, believe it or not .

Just to say, the lovely mnet teachers on here who have discussed this with me, and have told me its hard work, i don't mean you, you DO "know" me, and know where i am at just now. I'm sure im not the only person this happens too.

OP posts:

MrsThierryHenry · 03/06/2008 21:24

It's such a load of tosh, isn't it? Think it just goes to show that some people are just bone idle.

You go for it, girl!

findtheriver · 03/06/2008 21:26

LEM I did a PGCE ... easy than finding my way into this frigging duvet cover... agree with MTH - go for it!!

allgonebellyup · 03/06/2008 21:29

im planning on doing it next year too - and am coming across a lot of negativity too!

i had a tarot reading/birth chart done recently, and the woman said "i see you undergoing a career in teaching but you will face a lot of opposition when you tell others your decision".

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 21:33

agbu, we will be able to share notes then I'm pretty sure its what i want to do, although im going to try and get some days in a school at all age levels to be really sure. Because i imagine it is bloody hard work and if im not really into it, i will not pull through it.

It was the same when i did my degree (you wont finish it!!) then my PhD (that will be really hard - easier than my degree, but harder to motivate).

Why do people do this, i see it loads

OP posts:

Rachmumoftwo · 03/06/2008 21:36

I am doing my PGCE Primary now. It is hard work, but also interesting, challenging and very rewarding. I say ignore the negativity, and go for it! Good luck.

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 21:41

thanks rach - i am really unsure about what age group i want to teach, im tempted to go for really young ones, because to teach someone to read must be the most rewarding thing in the world, but i love science and would enjoy teaching it. Not sure i actually "like" teenagers though.

OP posts:

stitch · 03/06/2008 21:41

well, if i say a pgce is hard work, then what i mean is,it is the most nightmarish thing in the entire world i have ever done, and i dont understand why anyone would want to have the horrendous experience of doing it. how it makes me shudder just to think of it being undertaken. how hell would freeze over before i went back to teaching. etc etc,
but sinc ei cant say that to a total stranger, and i acknoweledge the fact, that everyone is different, the may totally enjoy the experience, find it completes them. make the world full of harmony etc etc.
so what comes out, is the rather politer, 'thats hard work'

ChukkyPig · 03/06/2008 21:42

I don't want to buck the trend, but isn't this a thing people say as small talk? People say it to me sometimes, and I have never thought to take it as in implication that I am not capable of hard work. More that they are just trying to find something to say. A PGCE is very hard work, maybe she was just trying to join in the conversation?

Or maybe I need to get a bit more when people say it to me in future...

WallOfSilence · 03/06/2008 21:42

Hey girl! Ignore the doubters!!

We know you can do it & that's all that matters

shinyshoes · 03/06/2008 21:45

I dont think she means that its hard work you cant do it.

I think she's warning you that its hard and perhaps she feels people think its all too easy.

I am a level 3 Teaching Assistant, I am still working in the bookies though but there is no way i'd become a teacher and I absolutely have the upmost respect for those teachers that can put in the

hard work.
shit from pupils.
wanting to murder (not literally) some pupils.
take work home and not get paid.
take abuse from parents because 'theres no way my johnny had dyslexia hes not thick ' (roll eyes smiley.)
put up with the fact you can't do and say this that and the other as infringes their human rights.

I know you probably know all this .

Good luck.

I dont think she meant any harm.

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 21:46

I understand where you are coming from Stitch as i said the whole "never again" stuff when i finished my degree, in fact the very sight of an exam hall made me feel physically sick. But to say to someone "its hard work" is stating the obvious, if they already have degrees then they must be up to working hard and with the greatest of respect, you got there!

I wonder if people perceive teaching as a bit of a soft option and maybe that is why people say, actually a PGCE is really hard work. But if it were a peice of piss it would be dull, right?

If someone told me they are going to do a PhD, my first reaction would be "you're fucking mad", the second would be "you will be by the end of it" the third would be "but you know what, i think you should go for it"

OP posts:

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 21:48

you see shiney, what does worry me is that i might want to literally murder some pupils if my DD was anything to go by . But you have to try...

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shinyshoes · 03/06/2008 21:49

well if you have it in your heart that you'll be good at it.

go for it.!!!

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 21:51

I sometimes wonder if it is because i don't look the part. I do look a bit, no a lot, chavvy (sorry for the use of the C word guys) and a bit like it takes a while for the cogs to start working. I don't tend to tell people about my qualifications, but sometimes i like to drop it into the conversation, just to see their jaws drop

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ChukkyPig · 03/06/2008 22:02

I really think she was just trying to join in. To make judgements like that based on how you look would be small minded in the extreme and although some people are that bitchy, not that many on a first time meeting. In fact I'm sure I have said myself to people about things being hard work. Not because I think they can't do it, just as an observation that they are actually hard work.

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 03/06/2008 22:07

chucky, you may be right, i feel bad now

OP posts:

waffletrees · 03/06/2008 22:08

I am planning to do teacher training and I get lots of negativity. I help out 2 mornings a week at DS1 school and am planning next year to try and get some experience in different schools. I know it will be hard work, I am not an idiot, I just don't understand why people are trying to put me off a long held dream.

frogs · 03/06/2008 22:11

Yes, I wouldn't take the comment that way either, LEM -- she probably just meant she didn't fancy the idea as it sounded like too much hard work for her. Or else it was a random thing she said to fill a gap in the conversation.

I don't read that comment as having any bearing on her opinion of your ability to do the job, and I expect she'd be horrified if she realised it had been taken that way.

stitch · 03/06/2008 22:12

teaching is not a soft option.
give me a lovely nine to fivve job anytime. or better yet, shelf stcking in tesco. i might die of boredom, butit is still easier than teaching, no insult intended, just cant seem to find a good enough analogy

ChukkyPig · 03/06/2008 22:14

No don't feel bad, feel happy that you are the sort of person who other people are interested in talking to enough to make inane small talk! And that you are going to go and start your PGCE which will be a new and exciting thing. And when you're studying you can bump into the lady and say, you know what, it is bloody hard work!!

BEAUTlFUL · 04/06/2008 09:13

I'd love to know how you look Chavvy! Do you have pineapple hair (aka a Croydon Facelift)?

I like the idea of your being a stealth academic.

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 04/06/2008 18:25

a stealth academic???

And yes, im afraid i have sported a version of the croydon facelift, albeit minus the hoop earings. I didn't realise what this was until my DD1 (18 next week - ) saw DD2 with a pineapple head at about 18 (to keep her hair out of her eyes) and said to me "muuuuthaaaaaa you can't take her aaat with a croyden facelift, she looks like a chav".....which was ok because she was EMO at the time and i honestly thought that Chav was a description of a group of youngsters (mostly from chatham) who followed a particular fashion trend!

OP posts:

sleepymommy · 04/06/2008 23:08

I think YABU. A PGCE is hard work, much harder than a degree. I don't think you should assume anyone is judging you by telling you that! You're going to need a thicker skin than that if you're going to be a teacher!!!

Kewcumber · 04/06/2008 23:10

people said this to me about having children "ooh its hard work you know". OK now that you've pointed that out I shan't bother.

Ignore them.

frogs · 04/06/2008 23:15

ARf at kew. When pg with dd2 I got "oh three is going to be really hard work." What do they honestly think you're going to say? "Well, if she's not sleeping through by 2 months we'll send her back". FGS

Closely followed by, "Oh you are amazing, I don't know how you do it." Like I have the option of getting on the next plane to the Bahamas.

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