Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

Complain to your sister and thank the school profusely despite the charge!

Did you reminder your sister at lunchtime? if not chalk if it down to experience and complain to no one!!

I'd be buying the school staff cakes and a box of chocolates for looking after your daughter when your other plans had fallen through.

Her kids are adults now. She had them young (had three by 23) I hadn't had my own kids yet and I used to babysit for her all the time so she could do things like work, go out clubbing, go on Holiday etc. Once I stayed in her house for a week so she could go to Spain. I used to take them places to, like the park or soft play.
Now she doesn't need any more favours from me but doesn't return the favour by helping me out, even though she acted excited when I was pregnant and really wanted to be an Auntie.
She has said to me that's she's sorry she doesn't make as much effort with my kids as I did with hers but then she gwrs an opportunity and forgets like it's nothing to her.

I it's all very upsetting and I don't know why people think I'm not blaming my sister - I totally am

I just think the school could have called me

I totally understand why you’re upset, OP.

She has probably done this so you never ask her again.

I would stop making any effort with her.

Does she send your kids birthday and Christmas presents?

It does sound like they thought she was booked in tho if you have an app to book only , then that wouldn’t make sense

in the end she was safe and cared for and maybe they would have rang you at 4

equally if they had called you /dh - how easy is it for dh to drop everything and get her asap as you said she could have been picked up at 4 and saved you money

She forgets their birthdays. She was invited to my eldest birthday back in May but didn't bother coming and didn't get him anything or send him any money

She does buy Christmas presents for them, and for me. But we meet up at Christmas as a family.

I would stop acknowledging her birthday or her kids, if they make no effort with yours.

And just token presents for Christmas.

Everyone did there job here apart from your sister. The school would have phoned you if nobody was there to pick her up at the end of ASC.

DCs school and they had a policy about reporting uncollected children to social care after a certain amount of time.

And they reported to social services before phoning the parents/guardians?

Yes the problem here is that school charged you for after care. Really?!? that’s what you are annoyed about?
No one turned up to pick up your daughter - school appropriately brought her into after care and presumably would have called you if no one turned up at end of day.

So much judgement of everyone flying around here! Does seem odd they didn't phone, but she was looked after which is the main thing. Also I remember the odd abandoned child at school and it wasn't that big a deal; they just went and sat in the school office. But I don't think anyone acted like it was crime of the century. I'm talking genuine one off mix ups etc, not actual neglectful parents.

I do have some sympathy with OP and how sister's not really involved. And she did agree to pick up.

It's the other way around surely!

School could have reported you to social services for abandonment, rather than taking care of an effectively abandoned seven year old. It's astonishing that you think you should be complaining!

As I was commenting on the observation that these sorts of things are the reasons why teachers are leaving the profession.

I don't know any teachers who left the profession because a parent spoke to the school office to clarify policies.

School could have reported you to social services for abandonment, rather than taking care of an effectively abandoned seven year old

🙄

So much judgement of everyone flying around here!

But why? Why are people inferring things the OP hasn't said? Not comprehending what she actually has said? Posters never used to be this stupid.

wtf you should be redirecting the entitlement to your sister. Please give your head a wobble no wonder people don’t want to become teachers anymore

I'd go mad at your sister, must have been terrifying in the minutes between that phone call and school confirming that your daughter was still there.

I know you are probably thinking you would have preferred for school to call so you didn't have to experience that jumpscare, but it is on your sister really.

No they couldn't, SS are a last resort AFTER attempting to contact parents and then emergency contacts. School had apparently not even started on the contact the parents stage. OP can reasonably ask why not - as she recognises herself in one of her responses, it may have just been a time issue and they would have called soon.

Wow teachers really do get blamed for everything don’t they.

So who did pick dd up in the end ?

School did absolutely nothing wrong. Your sister is the one who did. School kept her safe and yes you should be charged for that facility.

This is on you, your DH and your sister, not the school. Complaining that they kept your daughter safe and you think they shouldn't have charged you? You're ungrateful and a CF!
Time to get some proper childcare in place, instead of your flakey sister.

I’m SLT in a school and I actually don’t think you’d be unreasonable to question this. Obviously they did a good job keeping her safe but it’s clearly out of character for you not to collect so I would expect a well-being call to have happened at the very least.

No, me neither. That was sort of the point I was making. That the ‘complaint’ would be better as a ‘query’.

At the start of this thread, the OP was very much phrasing her response to this fairly minor issue as a ‘complaint’. My observation is that over the top complaints (that could sometimes have been queries or clarifications) are very much contributing to teachers’ stress and workload.

@Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar

Our ASC runs in one hour blocks so if DC are not collected at the correct pick up time they take all of them to ASC club, the first hour of which is prep and then it moves to free play. If by 5:30 a child not previously booked into ASC is still there they start making phone calls.

They also do bill you via the system and if not booked in advance / no credit on your account it does take you into "ASC overdraft" which you then need to clear before you can make more bookings.

All this to say that, I really think you jumped the gun i.e. in 40 mins they would only have been in the first half hour of ASC - maybe they were going to call you.

And I am sure if you were not reachable they would have called your emergency contacts. Why would they not?

I don't think you have given them much chance - 40 mins is not a lot of time when they have other kids to get settled down and assist with their homework.

Edited for typos.