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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

582 replies

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 08:23

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

OP posts:
KnickerlessFlannel · 04/10/2025 08:24

What's their uncollected child policy? They may have a set time at which they start calling eg 45 mjns/an hour late, especially if your child sometimes uses after school club.

Linenpickle · 04/10/2025 08:25

You want to complain to the school for looking after your child as she was forgotten by her own family…. Really??

HalfMumHalfBiccit · 04/10/2025 08:27

I think I’d be so relieved that the school simply put her in an after school club I would not worry too much that they didn’t tell me or that they charged me. If no one had picked her up from after school club they would have likely called you. Sounds like a nice school.

tripleginandtonic · 04/10/2025 08:28

Yabu. And maybe tou could be grateful to school for keeping her safe in aftershock club rather thsn berating them because your plans failed. Honestly, parents are getting more entitled by the day.

gamerchick · 04/10/2025 08:29

This isn't the schools fault OP. You need to get more reliable childcare.

anotherpyjamaday · 04/10/2025 08:29

This is the standard procedure at my son's primary school-any children not collected within 10 minutes of the bell are placed into after school club and parents/carers are charged for the session. The after school club then have procedures they follow if children aren't collected by the end of the session (contacting parents, contacting alternative emergency contacts etc)
Check the school website, there should be a policy/document explaining their procedure.

JetSkiRentals · 04/10/2025 08:29

I wouldn’t complain but I would email and ask that they let you know sooner if no one shows because you could have picked up much sooner had you known. This is your sisters fault remember, not really schools fault which is why I don’t think they deserve a complaint.

I do think it’s odd they didn’t phone straight away to check if you were late or you had intended to use after school club though. It’s standard practise in schools I’ve worked in. If they tried to call and failed to get through then fine but to not even attempt to call is a bit odd.

Do you sometimes use after school club?

OnlySeptember · 04/10/2025 08:29

Complain? I think you should be taking in chocolates and apologising!

MNJudge · 04/10/2025 08:30

I definitely wouldn't complain to the school. I would go in and thank them, and ask about their uncollected child policy while I was there.

I would however complain long and loud to my sister.... Please tell me she has been grovelling ever since?

NewWin · 04/10/2025 08:30

They did good! Be grateful, alls well that ends well. Seriously don't complain, this one is on you (well your sister really)

HouseofDreams · 04/10/2025 08:30

honestly your sister forgot to pick up your daughter and you are annoyed at the school and being charged for afterschool club…you are directing this anger in the wrong direction.

warmapplepies · 04/10/2025 08:30

I don't think the school is the issue here - what the fuck was your sister playing at?

FrauPaige · 04/10/2025 08:30

Linenpickle · 04/10/2025 08:25

You want to complain to the school for looking after your child as she was forgotten by her own family…. Really??

😂

BlueberryLatte · 04/10/2025 08:32

Linenpickle · 04/10/2025 08:25

You want to complain to the school for looking after your child as she was forgotten by her own family…. Really??

This^^

If nobody had appeared by near the end of ASC, they would've phoned. For all they knew you were in a car crash or looking after a dying relative or mid asthma attack or whatever other emergency. Complaining would be unhinged

Toothpastestain · 04/10/2025 08:32

How lovely for your daughter that after school club could look after her.
Sounds like a lovely school you should be super grateful.
Sounds like your sister is off the school pick up list.

ResusciAnnie · 04/10/2025 08:33

But what do they do if after school club is at capacity?? That would be a concern at my kids’ school.

It seems a good process other than that, and worked out for your DD. You should aim your complaining at your sister rather than the school!

PurpleThistle7 · 04/10/2025 08:33

This is a sister problem and really she should pay the charge but maybe it’s worth booking your child into after school club as she doesn’t seem very reliable.

Notquitethetruth · 04/10/2025 08:34

You should be angry with your sister. I assume the school would have contacted you in due course. You having to pay extra wasn't on their radar as they were prioritising the needs of the children they care for which is something your sister failed to do for your daughter. Be grateful your daughter had a safe space to go to.

PollyBell · 04/10/2025 08:34

It is not the schools fault, why are schools being blamed for everything

DaisyChain505 · 04/10/2025 08:35

This isnt a school problem. This is a sister problem.

Sharptonguedwoman · 04/10/2025 08:35

tripleginandtonic · 04/10/2025 08:28

Yabu. And maybe tou could be grateful to school for keeping her safe in aftershock club rather thsn berating them because your plans failed. Honestly, parents are getting more entitled by the day.

I like 'Aftershock club'!

Hohumdedum · 04/10/2025 08:35

I wouldn't complain. I would charge the cost of the after school club to my sister!

Original poster
Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 08:35

JetSkiRentals · 04/10/2025 08:29

I wouldn’t complain but I would email and ask that they let you know sooner if no one shows because you could have picked up much sooner had you known. This is your sisters fault remember, not really schools fault which is why I don’t think they deserve a complaint.

I do think it’s odd they didn’t phone straight away to check if you were late or you had intended to use after school club though. It’s standard practise in schools I’ve worked in. If they tried to call and failed to get through then fine but to not even attempt to call is a bit odd.

Do you sometimes use after school club?

Yes we occasionally use after school club but they are very clear that sessions have to be booked and paid for in advance which I always do using an app.
Now my account is in arrears and I can't book anything until the balance is cleared. I didn't even know that was possible.

OP posts:
Papadulo · 04/10/2025 08:36

You need to use the afterschool club not flakey sisters. Why don’t you use it?

Woompund · 04/10/2025 08:37

Don't go in complaining but do raise that they didn't alert you that she hadn't been collected. There was no guarantee you would have known to collect her at the end of after school club either! It was an oversight on their part and they need to be aware that the process failed.