Political views and friends drop off

[Noononoo]

In all my rather long life my political views have been in accord with my friends, even confidently leading them. Fashionable, on trend etc etc. no problem. Most of my friends weren’t as feminist as I, I published left wing political stuff.
But now things have radically changed:
I am not in the streets waving the Palestinian flag:
I was so appalled at 10/7 and shocked at how little sympathy was expressed for the Jewish community , how anti semitism rose. I had been aware of antisemitism in the Palestinian solidarity movement since the 90’s, a small but chilling faction. It was always ignored. There are ten times the number if Muslims voting in this country compared to Jews. The Overton window has shifted. Politicians know which side their bread is buttered.
I found out that if I posted anything pretty mild about women’s rights I was getting blanked. I am gender critical in line with my passion for feminism and wary of the patriarchy, damned if a few men will dictate what women are called and where they can go. Not fashionable.
And now I realise that friends have dropped away. I’m not at all on trend. In fact I’m a bit scary it seems. Best avoided. Can it be a coincidence? I just wondered if this rang true for anyone else?

YANBU. Having GC views has definitely lost me one (formerly good) friend, however, she is American and liberal and things are very different over there and also she has a non-binary DC who goes by they/them, so she has skin in the game. I miss her. I liked her a lot and we were good friends.

Seems that if friends don't agree with your political opinions they get a bit battered, I probably wouldn't hang around for round two. Their opinions are equally valid as yours whether you are on trend or not. Keep off contentious topics or find new friends who share your opinions.

I am left wing but GC - and I have friends with different view points. I wouldn’t be friends with someone who had extreme views I.e. racist supporter of Tommy Robinson BUT I don’t tend to discuss politics much with my friends, or anyone else really

The issue is you are posting on social media. There is no nuance, no intonation plus people have an interpretation that can’t be sorted out easily.

I have had 2 minor fallings out with friends regarding views, one self adjusted when she came out with exactly what I had said a couple of years later. With the other she apologised and we had a chat. There was a definite feeling of unease between us for a while but that’s now changed. She also told me about another friend of hers with very different views and how she could accept them. DH was there and he was convinced it was her trying to make it up to me.

I could have written your post OP. However I find that as I get older, I care less what others think of me.

Thankfully, the majority of my friends have quite strong personalities and we quite enjoy healthy discussion. There are only two I can think of where our friendship has faded and would love to know what they think these days.

I tend to bang on about matters a lot less than I did before, as nobody likes an ‘I told you so’ when things like a Cass Review and Supreme Court Judgment come to pass. There are some incredibly polar views on Israel/Palestine within feminist circles, so I tend to keep my nascent opinions completely to myself there - in part because I don’t feel knowledgeable enough.

Curious. Are you American? No one in the UK would say 10/7.

@NightIbble No - political views slightly right of centre or left of centre don’t say much at all. Certainly people we know are in a category one side of centre or the other but all are great people who are very decent. Many of us get along with each other perfectly well because differences are nuances and not a political divide. You assume there’s right and wrong ways to think. That’s not the case when people are largely quite central. We have some slightly differing views but no posting on SM about politics. Mostly we see both sides to an argument and mostly our friends go back decades.

I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. I generally don't discuss politics with friends. One of my friends is definitely right wing, others are probably left of centre.

i tend to play devils advocate if the subject does come up and put up an opinion opposite to theirs.

I would struggle to be constant friends with someone whose main focus in life was politics. Maybe that's the issue? Is it your sole subject of conversation? Your reason for being?

I suppose it depends how you define politics. I’m very into dogs, the countryside, can’t bear the idea of livestock.. they are sentient animals! And international justice; women in Afghanistan being forbidden to speak to show their hair!. Truly am a pain in the arse , not a lot of fun. They’ve all found out and have buggered off.

Canon in D by Pachelbel because it was my wedding music and we got married at Christmas.

I have cut everyone who supports the murder, mutilation and starvation of women and children out of my life. And I follow an awful lot of Jews who feel the same way. I never thought I'd see the day when civilised people would support a genocide

I think you're discovering that being "on trend" and being right aren't the same things.

Yanbu. I align with your views.

This is a good point.

I think SM has created an environment where people cannot discuss things rationally, in depth, with nuance any more. That's one issue.

Also it sometimes feels like people's views nowadays have little to do with what they actually think (assuming they even know) and more to do with signalling allegiance to their tribe.

You can start with exactly the same values though and if you have different ways of looking at the world can end up with almost diametrically opposed viewpoints. So two people could really want the country to be a better place for their children but one thinks the best way to do this is through economic liberalisation and low taxes, the other thinks Keynesian economics. Complicated by the fact that a lot of people get their news through very algorithm heavy sources or biased media
I'm generally quite reluctant to cut people of for their views, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't challenge something obviously racist/ extreme. Though there is a point where if the other person was incapable of just agreeing to disagree and leaving it I'd distance myself.

They're literally not seeing the same things you are though. It's hard I agree.

Why are you talking with friends about heavy subject like polítics

Keep it light, you'll have more fun.

Yes they are.

I feel like there’s more to the “there’s ten times more muslims” comment. In the kindest possible way, if you were my once left wing friend I’d probably be thinking twice.

Ahh, it makes sense now.

Can’t bear the idea of livestock!? @Noononoo So the countryside exists as it is quite often to feed livestock. Do you see farming as keeping parkland for you? No cows or sheep? No farming business you don’t approve of? How intolerant.