To ask my Year 4 to do homework?

[Judyjudyjudyjudyjudy]

Do your children have the independent skills to decide when they need to do their homework or do you have to tell them when to do it? I think a child should manage this independently - ie when they will do it (not if they need help!) but prepared to be told IABU!

Minimum weekly maths and spellings (which we read out) but also TT rock stars and a termly project (which we support with books etc)

I think managing yourself is an important skill but am I being age appropriate?
YABU to expect them to do it independently before deadline
YANBU - they shld do manage their time to do it before deadline without nagging!

In Year 4, I'd remind them and try to get them to sit down and do it but ultimately if they were resisting it, let them face the consequences at school.

My DD is in year 10 and I still have to nag her to do it. Every child is different because DS in year 11 has always just got on with it without prompt from a young age. He now revises for GCSEs as well every night including weekends without prompt. So yeah, totally depends on the child. In year 4, I’d be expecting to still prompt.

My Ds was in a prep school and they really instilled some great habits in the kids. He then moved to his new school in Y3 and they have 15-20 min of homework daily. No quibbles whatsoever- he thinks that’s what you just do. He’s now a few years ahead and they get about 40 min a day and he is so incredibly self disciplined and does it. Gets home, snack , homework, shower and free time to do whatever.

Thats a great point re not being in control of their time.

Year 4 is to young to expect this. Do you have your own children OP past the age of yeAr 4? My children still needing reminding and helping untill year.8 Then again during GCSE revision I kept reminding them even tho they had sorted it themselves. Sometimes a gentle reminder is still needed. Even at A level stage I take an interest in homework and ask if they have done it, they always remember but it's nice for them and me for me to ask and take an interest, they appreciate it. Teaching children is completely different to raising them.

Let’s see…have you given her the skills needed for this?

can you expand on what you mean?

Managing your time and homework is a skill. What have you done to teach your child this skill?

To be clear it’s not about me being lax or not supporting them, it’s about how to foster intrinsic motivation which I think is really important (ie to want to do homework because it needs to be done not because your parents nag you!)
But I take the point 8 is probably not age appropriate so grateful for the sense check on that - it really helps!

You need to work up.

First you dictate with reasons. OK Sat a.m. as you will be fresh and it won't be hanging over us all weekend.

The eg saying this needs to be done by Monday. So you can do it tonight Thur or Fri after school or Sat am or Sun am. When do you want to do it?
Then make her stick to it.

You talk through pros and cons of different options, but give her limits, eg not starting at 8pm when she is too tired or leaving until Sun pm.

Only when she can do homework within some constraints do you loosen up, and even then I'd be getting her to state when she is going to do it at least until end Primary if not some point in secondary.

Y4 is too young. Mine is in Y6 and I still remind him.

Extremely age-inappropriate.

My son just went into year 3, he does have autism so not sure if that affects it but as soon as he gets homework(one a week) he will sit and finish it. I don't have to ask but he seems to prefer to just get it over with. Tt rockstars he loves doing too so that's no bother. The spellings he will just read a few times and then gets them all right. Idk if I just got lucky with him though lol, will need to see how my 6 year old copes with it all.

Pretty much the same except my DD is older (16) and has been managing her homework for years.
DS 13 I still keep on top of it otherwise he just wouldn’t bother!

so depends on the child I guess and how important it is to you

I have to tell them to do the homework.

Oh sorry op! For some reason (I'm supposed to be working but am distracting myself on here and clearly gave too much of a sideways glance) but I read your thread title as being about a "4 year old."

Quite honestly I was disgusted!

But Year 4 is quite different - and definitely doesn't merit my response quoted above (which was me trying not to type "are you actually out of your mind!")

I think year 4 is about the earliest they are getting capable of this sort of planning ahead and managing their time, but not inappropriate to start. Just be gentle when it goes a bit wrong!

I wouldn't nag them at this age. I think you're right to let them make the choice of whether they do it or not and deal with the consequences of that at school.

But I would either set up a regular time for them to do it (probably with a visual timetable so they can check as needed) or tell them (once or at a push twice) that homework should be done now/after dinner/in an hour.

I think expecting them to manage multiple pieces of homework over a week with no guidance on timings is too much at this age.

DD is in Y12, I still have to remind her…

Oh Judy, you come across like a dad that's never there unless its to criticise how mum is doing things.

Think i sound like someone who asked a genuine qu, took on board the feedback and found it helpful, and said as much!

Ha ha. I need to do work on my reading comprehension.

I remind my y10 dd about homework! I don't think most primary school kids would have the skills to independently manage their time.

It depends how long they've been doing homework for and how well homework habits have been instilled, and the type of person they are. With my oldest I made sure to instil good habits from day one - she came home from school, had a snack, and then did her homework, every day. After a couple of years I stopped reminding her to do it. My youngest has just started school, I am trying to instil the same habits and hopefully it will work but he is a very different child and would forget his own head if it wasn't screwed on so I suspect he will need a lot more support in this area than his big sister did.

A year 4 child isn’t capable. I still remind my year 6 child tbh, because she won’t do it otherwise (it isn’t formal homework it’s reading and maths practice).
For my older DD I phased reminders out during year 7 when I could see she was coping and doing the work.
I would certainly help a secondary school child to plan homework if they weren’t coping or not bothering